Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
Look, I don’t know if marriage is one of the things that Allah has already predestined for us without any wiggle room. There are various theories on predestination and ONE of them is that Allah presents us with various paths and options…and we have freedom/free will in choosing a certain path…and then Allah already knows what will happen as a result of that choice. I kinda like that interpretation.
And according to some ahadith…some things are not completely fixed. For example, one hadith says that you can increase your life through doing good deeds and maintaining ties with your kin.
Also,…while divorce is the least liked of all the things made permissible by Allah…I would have to say Alhumdolillah that we have divorce as an option when a marriage is so dysfunctional beyond repair that it is destroying one’s health and family. Islam does not support the jaahil notion that “Oh I married this loser who treats me like ****…it was Allah ki marzi…and therefore I must stay in this toxic union for the rest of my life.” I think that the view that marriages are made in heaven…some people might even twist it to mean (due to the word “heaven”) that there’s no way out. Unfortunately desi soceity’s reaction to divorce (especially when it comes to women) don’t help the situation.
There was a time when I wondered if marriages were among the the things that Allah has predetermined…now I don’t dwell on it so much. I think it’s just better to be responsible and do your part (investigate the rishta, get to know the person)…pick and chose your battles (sometimes a situation can be what you choose to make it)…and if things are that bad, understand that it’s not permanent. There are some things such as one’s sanity, health, safety that can’t be compromised on.