What is the big deal if some girl gets married late? Are there any biological problems? any society issues or what?
Where ever you go people if a girl is almost 24-25 people start to say that she should be married now. You should start looking for some one.etc.
Not everyone may have a problem but some may, so is there any thing wrong if some one gets married late?
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
biologically, maybe...as complications arise after the age of 35.....
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
I think there are biological problems as sara mentioned. But also, i think that as you get older your expectations might increase, your habits may be harder to break, and you have more trouble changing together. For example as the unmarried people get older, they tend to be more picky on what they want in a spouse, but since most people their age are married, they have a harder time finding single people with those qualities- this i believe is the biggest problem w/ late marriages: you sometimes just have to settle. Or if someone is used to living alone and having things done their way then it might cause problems when they have to start considering another's perspective. Or you don't look as pretty at age 30 as you did at age 23- and the wedding pics just don't come out as nice ;)
This is NOT TO SAY that all late marriages are problematic, just voicing some of the concerns that come w/ late marriage. There are plenty of cases of wonderfully successful 'late' marriages. i feel like i need to put a disclaimer in every post i make so i don't get attacked.
who cares about biology…
check this out:
Age is irrelevent!
A Chinese woman who was afraid to get married when she was young, is now 107 and looking for a first-time husband
107-Year-Old Chinese Woman Looking for Husband - Lifestyle - Javno
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
**u wudn't want one of ur kids still be going to school on ur 60the birthday...wud u? birth defects are more common among older mothers. and besides, who has the energy left after age 35-40 to stay up all night and taking care of a sick child.
the earlier the better**
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
valid points above but I think they';re expressed a bit too vigorously. Fertility declines surely. But there are tests and assistance available to determine troubles. and the majority will not have troubles. For sure, an older parent has less energy, I know that firsthand lol.
BUT...older couples are more dedicated to their children. They're more mature and know what they want in a partner and so are more apt to have a successful, happy marriage. The failed marriages I've seen are for the most part ones that took place when they were too young to really know what they wanted out of life and it turned out that their interests were not suited to each other.
Many times I wished that I had my children at a younger age. My younger years were spent on career and earning a great living and I had all the time in the world to work 90 hours a week if I wanted to do that. So I had my kids late. But - I didnt meet my knight in shining armor until late, we worked together and developed our relationship thru work. So it couldnt have been any other way for us.
There are plusses and minuses to either situation. Just dont go overboard in either direction and make sure you are completely satisfied before saying "I Do"
valid points above but I think they';re expressed a bit too vigorously. Fertility declines surely. But there are tests and assistance available to determine troubles. and the majority will not have troubles. For sure, an older parent has less energy, I know that firsthand lol.
BUT...older couples are more dedicated to their children. They're more mature and know what they want in a partner and so are more apt to have a successful, happy marriage. The failed marriages I've seen are for the most part ones that took place when they were too young to really know what they wanted out of life and it turned out that their interests were not suited to each other.
Many times I wished that I had my children at a younger age. My younger years were spent on career and earning a great living and I had all the time in the world to work 90 hours a week if I wanted to do that. So I had my kids late. But - I didnt meet my knight in shining armor until late, we worked together and developed our relationship thru work. So it couldnt have been any other way for us.
There are plusses and minuses to either situation. Just dont go overboard in either direction and make sure you are completely satisfied before saying "I Do"
**well said...maiN to aapko young samajhtaa thaa...masha Allah aap to mari buzurg nikliN...maiN to Khud ko hii bahtoN se baRaa umr meN samajhtaa thaa lol.
i am glad that you have great kids, great life and are fully satisfied.
dua kijiyega plz k kaash ahm sab ko bhi vohi sab naseeb ho jo alHamdolillah aapko huaa...aameen :)**
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
ameen:@:
BUT...older couples are more dedicated to their children
why or how? Its great that it worked out for you but to link unfit parenting with age, maturity or an early marriage is a bit of a gross generalization. by early i am sure we are not talking about teen marriages/pregnancies here.
marriage is a very personal decision and whether late or early, it should be based on ones own priorities and needs. we should not let society dictate our decisions.
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
Patriot, I no way linked young parents to "unfit parenting"!!! My goodness! What I did say was that older parents tend to be more dedicated to their children. Younger parents tend not to have as much time to go to cub scout meetings with their sons, girl scout meetings with their daughters. Take the time to just hang out and be with the kids. Younger parents are often too busy, too preoccupied or whatever. This is a generalization and my observation - sure I've met exceptions on both sides of the age gap! But generally speaking, I stand by what I said.
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
25 is not old.
Desi men just want them young and innocent so they can have their virgins and mold them. Shoe them an independent woman in her 30's and she becomes a threat. These same guys will date anyone that gives them a chance.
Depends on the family. A lot of us girls are getting into our 30's pursuing degrees and careers and we are single. In my family, avg age of marriage is 30's after completing graduate level studies.
PCG: uhh you're talking about girls' avg age for getting married is 30's or everyones? I don't know of any career path that requires education past 30, unless people took time off in the middle (in which case they finished their education when they first stopped school but then are returning, so i don't think it counts as "studying till you're 32"). I mean i know some medical residencies are really long, but at that point you ARE working. And PhD candidates or post-docs get paid too.
You know not all men are the conniving sleaze balls that you think, moulding their women to be their servants and philandering in their free time. in fact most are not. And a lot of women are independent thinkers even at earlier ages like early 20s. Also, i kind of like the idea of marriage when you're still under your parent's care instead of living on your own, whether it's a girl or a boy in this situation. You know the person is very innocent and family oriented, which in the end, isn't that what you want? An older guy living on his own is more likely to have been in more relationships some of which might not even be serious. I also think it's less likely the guy will help around the house the older he gets married, but i don't really know how true it is...seems like the younger men would be more receptive to helping out their wife around the house. So there are similar issues whether the guy is old or the girl is old.
I think the main issue is that the older the women (or men) are, the harder it is to find someone b/c all the good ones are taken (and you don't want a divorced one either) and that their beauty wanes too. I scoff at vanity as much as the next person, but when people are older, even the less vain are saddened by their loss of youth. It's like you spent all your prettiest years behind the books and building your career, and when you finally have someone that would appreciate that beauty, you've got the first signs of aging. I of course am assuming that the guy and the girl are both good practicing muslims.
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
its all written in Allah's scheme of things...see, i'm 30 and i've been working for 5 years having done my PhD at 25, i'm still single...so, Allah jab chaahega tab ho jaayegi, iA
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
You get married when YOU want, not anyone else.
I do not believe in being married at 25 just for the sake of being married...NO.
Allah ne jab chaha, tab hi hoti hai aur usse ek minute pehle nahin.
biologically, maybe...as complications arise after the age of 35.....
lol - so is a SECOND shaadi - out of question for women over 35? I mean she would have to risk a lot if they want to have kids...
I married at the ripe old age of 35, although both younger sisters married before me. There is a mixture of everything that has been discussed before. We are financially secure, mature, enjoy each others company, understand etc etc etc, however both of us are very strong minded, very difficult to change each others way of thinking.
to counter that age has played a great role in accepting the flaws and learning to manage and work with them in a mature way.
the old biological clock has slowed considerably, however i thank our maturity for dealing with this in a positive and logical way. would love to have kids, however if it doesnt happen, then maybe its not meant to be.
I see my younger siblings with kids and reasonably happy, and only from the point of having kids do i wish i had married younger, other than that i am happy i married when i did.
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
No big deal.... people (read aunties) just like gossip and taanay marna, so if they find nothing else to talk about, they'll start asking stupid question like "abhi tak shadi nahin ki beeti ki" from your poor mom.
The aunties who are genuinely concerned will hook up a rishta for you and voila, you end up married.... like I did :D
P.S. I was 28 when I got married.
Re: Are LATE MARRIAGES a problem?
daffyduck......I envision that there could be many disadvantages of marrying late.. as mentioned by all on this thread ... the two important ones being that a womans chances of concieving or having a pregnancy is dimished as she gets older and this is due to nature and a womans biological clock, the second issue is that at a certain age, women are more defined and have shaped their views and thoughts- standards are rightly high and so their expectations are equally as high. No one is at fault- its all about the individual and life expectations and opportunities. As a Brit Asian women tend to marry late due to their own educational and professional aspirations- to want independence and financial security is everyones right....and in doing so chances of meeting like minded individuals could become slimmer. If youre destined to meet your partner then it will happen at any age.... if you marry late you can be the most happiest person equally if you are to marry young... the point is that its up to the two people in question if they wish to make a success of their marriage and relationship......love has no age, its all about the commitment, understanding, respect, compatibility and compromisation of the two in order to inshallah become one.
My family discourages all the girls from marrying before at least 23/24. I remember before that my Mum would say a straight 'no' to anyone that asked, regardless of how educated/well-off/good-looking he was. I know a lot of girls do study after marriage but my parents always thought the extra pressure would make it harder.
My brother's only a junior doctor (28) and he's marring next spring and is busy with all the wedding prep but both Mum and Dad are furious cos so much of the time he should be studying (he has exams in Nov, the week before the 'official' engagement) he's looking at wedding venues/clothes/ring/new flat/dowry. He actually failed his last exam and their convinced it's to do with the engagement/wedding and the hospital that is employing him has said that as it's such a prestigious place if he fails again they'll just get rid of him. Some ppl do manage marriage and study just fine but me I'd never be able to juggle those two things effectively..
