Its 21st century..women are more educated, accomplished, mature and professionally career oriented (atleast some) so if a girl was all this with a beautiful heart but FAT…then what?
do u think even in this day and age she would face problems with her in-laws?
do u know anyone who has had problems? or know of someone who dint at all even though she was fat but was accepted lovingly into the family?
I have an auntie who was reluctant to marry her son to a big-boned girl (she was by no means fat, she just had a broad structure). The auntie’s logic - *larkiyan shaadi kay baad phoolti haiN *
BTW, her son married the girl and he’s happy with two kids!
All four of my mamoo’s sons married women who are bigger boned/heavy-set. All of them were arranged marriages, so the sons AND the parents (in-laws) agreed to the rishtas, hence they were accepted. My cousins wives are treated with respect by their in-laws. This is one example.
I know of an example where a guy got married to an attractive girl who wasn’t that educated and came from a poor family background. It was an arranged marriage. The guy and his family were fully aware of the girl’s lack of education and her financial situation, but they still taunted her about it after the marriage.
I also know of a girl who is slim, and fairly attractive. But her in-laws picked on her (behind her back) exaggerating her figure to make it seem like she was anorexic. They even wondered if she was premature in her development. The criticizing made me curious and when I finally saw the girl, I thought she was good looking…and the in-laws were making a big deal out of it cuz they weren’t keen on the girl (love marriage) and didn’t think their son was ready for marriage. Last I heard, she’s living happily with her in-laws, that they managed to get alone.
How do you even answer such a question? You could be the most attractive, smartest, and accomplished woman and your in-laws still might not like you from the get-go. Or the relationship can turn sour at a later point and you’ll be picked on for stupid things. It’s unreasonable to let their opinions (which could stem from their own insecurities, jealousy, etc) to determine your self-worth as an individual. Does your spouse love you? Do you have a happy marraige? That’s really what matters more.
We live in the real world. And it’s a shallow and cruel world. Forget the in-laws…and look at other settings. A woman can be super successful in her career, but yes, people will still notice (and maybe pick on) her weight, her style of dressing, (maybe at work, maybe at school, or even random strangers etc). You can be the nicest person with the heart of a saint…and people will STILL find something to pick on about you. You can’t stop them. You shouldn’t let them determine your self-worth and get in the way of living your life. AT THE SAME TIME, if YOU as an individual, feel that you should lose some weight to be healthier and feel better about yourself, then do so. Yes, people should have more sense than to make rude remarks about how another person looks. And sometimes people might make suggestions out of concern as well; and their intentions are in the right place…but we don’t like hearing them because it’s an ego thing.
its not fine line…when the FAT person is someone you don’t want to ridicule its ‘Big Boned’, “A little on the heavy side”,“somewhat chubby”…and if you don’t like them then its FAT…
on topic…FAT/Thin is always relative…meaning how FAT or Thin compared to the guy…too much difference (either side) looks like little awkward..
Uhhhh not really… I’ve seen ppl who have thin faces but are overweight (yes the body structure may be large but they’re still overweight as well), and those who are at a normal weight but have slight double chins.
One person’s fat is another person’s big-bones. I’ve seen slender people with a double-chin as well. So, the presence of a double-chin can’t always be used to determine if someone is thin or fat or whatever. It’s subjective. One’s body can vary in how it distributes fat deposits.
The point is, people get picked on for a lot of things. Attractive people might get picked on less for their looks…or they might get picked on for looks by people who are jealous of them…they might get picked on about their personality and intelligence. There’s no stopping or controlling what others will say about you. If you also feel that you need to work on yourself, then work on yourself. If the OP is mainly worried about acceptance by in-laws…then she could be Angelina Jolie and still not be accepted.
I’m not talking about being overweight or underweight. I’m talking about big boned and fat people, if a big boned person doesn’t have a double chin he’s not considered fat, just big boned.
Well if its an arrange marrige then it obviously means they accepted her however she is so no questions abt that. And in the case of a love marrige, isnt it enough that the boy likes her so why should her weight matter to the inlaws? As long as its nothing that puts down the inlaws it would be unreasonable to have issues based on her body structure.
This is exactly my point. The thread is about fat people so giving examples of big boned people doesn’t make sense unless we are calling all fat people big boned or all big boned people fat.