Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
mine are bad..like i mean really bad!!
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
mine are awesome, alhamdulillah....just like my own family....Allah kare it stays like this inshAllah
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
YEs they are all horrible. You are so screwed when you get married. Literally and figuratively.
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
You hardly ever hear horror stories about the girl's parents, nearly always the boys, so no they aren't **all **bad (perhaps cos girl's parents can't 'get away' with doing the same stuff a boy's parent's can?"'we don't like her going out, don't like the way she dresses, she doesn't do enough housework" etc )..
You hardly ever hear horror stories about the girl's parents, nearly always the boys, so no they aren't **all **bad (perhaps cos girl's parents can't 'get away' with doing the same stuff a boy's parent's can?"'we don't like her going out, don't like the way she dresses, she doesn't do enough housework" etc )..
interesting point :)
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
I see my parents and how they deal with my sis in law and I also see how she reacts to them and all in all..It comes back to the belief, it takes two to tango
She loves them like they are her parents and my parents love her like a daughter..
I think coming from a small family, I'd put in a 100% as for me they will be my second set of parents..
mine aren't good people ! Mostly inlaws just expect you to do everything they please and as they want ........mine don't even let me wear the colors I like and the list goes on............Lucky are those girls who get good inlaws
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
well i guess there are no good or bad in laws. they always bad mostly for a reason of perception.
If your mom scold you about anything... thats OK
same thing by mom in law ----- a very big issue
If daughter do or something bad, thats innocent mistake, simple bit of dant and Its all OK
If daughter in law does the same type of mistake .... - its huge issue
same goes for brother/sister in laws <->brother/sisters
only if they can expect the same and treat the same, there will be very less problems in this cruel world.
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
hmmmm well my fiances parents are nice, but veryy quiet and a lil bit stingy,,,,,which annoys the hell out of me. also the mother behaves like a stubborn brat sometimes, if shes pissed off at someone, and that someone can be her neice or nephew she wont be hospitable to them...i guess she had a reason. but with me, shes fine. i wouldnt say shes overly nice to me , or loving, but shes nice enough.....have to wait and see after marrige i guess.
hmmmm well my fiances parents are nice, but veryy quiet and a lil bit stingy,,,,,which annoys the hell out of me. also the mother behaves like a stubborn brat sometimes, if shes pissed off at someone, and that someone can be her neice or nephew she wont be hospitable to them...i guess she had a reason. but with me, shes fine. i wouldnt say shes overly nice to me , or loving, but shes nice enough.....have to wait and see after marrige i guess.
LOL Nadz, you better make sure you dont piss her off at any point. Be a good girl, do all the dishes and massage her every day and she will love u lol
Try being an American married to a Pakistani man and have your inlaws come stay with you who dont speak English and nor do I speak Urdu.. Talk about uncomfortable. Also alot of different feelings come up because of different cultures.
from reading these threads on life1 i get the idea that most ppl dont really have nice things to say about their in laws but are in laws really that bad and i was reading in another thread about how if we put ourselves in their shoes and see it from their prespective how would we feel. i am sure most of u have sister in laws or brother in laws, so if they were complaining about you what would u do?
Not all in laws are bad and its you who make them good or bad.If you ignore somethings for a while and have some patience then may things might turn out good later.So we need to have a little patience and sweet tongue to deal with in laws.I know I don't like many things but on the other hand I don't like many things of my mom so I think no one in perfect and we have to deal our in laws like we are dealing with our family, our sisters,our brothers and our parents.When you feel they are yur family then may be it will be easy to deal with your in laws
from reading these threads on life1 i get the idea that most ppl dont really have nice things to say about their in laws but are in laws really that bad and i was reading in another thread about how if we put ourselves in their shoes and see it from their prespective how would we feel. i am sure most of u have sister in laws or brother in laws, so if they were complaining about you what would u do?
no not all inlaws are bad and not all five fingers are equal, but most of inlaws are really bad.
there are also very nice inlaws too na.
:)
Not all in laws are bad and its you who make them good or bad.If you ignore somethings for a while and have some patience then may things might turn out good later.So we need to have a little patience and sweet tongue to deal with in laws.I know I don't like many things but on the other hand I don't like many things of my mom so I think no one in perfect and we have to deal our in laws like we are dealing with our family, our sisters,our brothers and our parents.When you feel they are yur family then may be it will be easy to deal with your in laws
well ume i disagree with u in this case. ur oint is really very nice lekin kuch laaton k bhoot baaton se nahe mantay aur jb wo maan bhi jaen then it is too late for u also ap lut k barbaad ho chukay hotay ho. yes kuch maan bhi jatay hn but in most cases u must have to show them a proper mental treatment. well i have also saw this with my mother. she still behave very nice from the day of marriage aur ab unkay liye sab kuch khatam bhi ho chuka hai lekin phir bhi log aur rishtay daar sir pe chardhnay ko atay hn.
lekin ab jubse im elder now and become young then i strongly counter attack on any rishtay daar misbehaving with my mother bulkay unkay mun pe bhi kai martba kehj diya hai keh rishtay daaron ko bhi aajkal sir pe nahe chardhana chahye warna wo kamzor samajh k sir pe chardh jatay hn aur yeh bhi kaha keh ajkal rishtey daaron me se jesa hai wesa hi rehna chahiye agar koi apse acha rehta hai us se boht acha raho aur agar koi apkay sir pe chardhna shuru ker day tu counter attack karo.
aur isi waja se ab unka dimagh bhi darust honay laga hai coz unhe bhi pata hai keh im very serious in this issue i shall not tolerate any offense. apki baat boht achi hai must be done lekin sirf unkay sath jo theek bhi ho jaen warna jinki aqalon pe taalay humesha k liye pard chukay hn unkay sath unki language me hi deal karo tu set ho jatay hn otherwise apko jeenay bhi nahe detay.
:(
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
Theory : All In Laws are Parents whose kids have got married
By the theory used that ALL Inlaws are bad does that mean all Parents are Bad!
I agree with Ume.Z
It is how we perceive them and they perceive us..
Parents/Kids have annoying habits but we don't call them bad, we just deal with them (tolerate).. I guess the issue is that it feels like tolerating isn't an option with in laws (It's like a just pass Go card)
Try being an American married to a Pakistani man and have your inlaws come stay with you who dont speak English and nor do I speak Urdu.. Talk about uncomfortable. Also alot of different feelings come up because of different cultures.
Do they not speak any English at all? My fiance's English and I'd put my foot down if ppl purposely spoke in their own language leaving him sitting there feeling awkward..
Do they not speak any English at all? My fiance's English and I'd put my foot down if ppl purposely spoke in their own language leaving him sitting there feeling awkward..
They can speak English but choose to speak Urdu. My husband would ask them to speak English but they always end up speaking their lauguage. Needless to say there is not alot of family love here.
Not all in laws are bad and its you who make them good or bad.If you ignore somethings for a while and have some patience then may things might turn out good later.So we need to have a little patience and sweet tongue to deal with in laws.I know I don't like many things but on the other hand I don't like many things of my mom so I think no one in perfect and we have to deal our in laws like we are dealing with our family, our sisters,our brothers and our parents.When you feel they are yur family then may be it will be easy to deal with your in laws
Seriously Ume, its so hard to keep this attitude up when you live with them and you have done nothing wrong to end up on their bad side. I know they're also parents and deserve respect and things might change if good treatment from our side is consistent. But if you think about it, everyone has limits to their patience and trying those limits once in a while is okay but all the time isnt. We're all human right?
Ive seen inlaws behave horribly in arranged marriage situations towards the DIL THEY CHOSE AND MARRIED THEIR SON TO.
The thing is, inlaws are not all bad...some are actually pretty nice and caring.
In the situations where your inlaws are bad...can you control their actions or words? No. You cannot. You can only control your own words and actions. Do what you can to be a good DIL and make sure you're not doing anything to cause problems...but after that...wash your hands of the situation. Dont torture yourself over things they do. Its not worth it to sit there and burn over a comment your MIL passed on your outfit or cooking or house. Who cares? Be secure enough to let some things go.
You have to believe in Allah and know that He is watching it all.
Re: Are All In Laws Bad?
Girls should listen to inlaws but within reason, being obedient to the point of being walked over doesn't do anyone any good, poor DIL gets trampled over and how will MIL (or FIL) learn they behaviour is wrong if no-one ever objects to it?? It's wrong to make out that just because we should respect elders we should never point out when they're treating someone badly or acting out of order.
They can speak English but choose to speak Urdu. My husband would ask them to speak English but they always end up speaking their lauguage. Needless to say there is not alot of family love here.
Wow, that's unbelievably disrespectful. Just one of those ways I guess of keeping a person as an 'outsider.' I would seriously see red if I walked into a room and my family were all sitting there speaking in their language and leaving my other half out :(