Hi everyone, I dont live in Pakistian thats why I am a bit unfamiliar with the traditions. I know all about what is done on aqiqah from islamic view. What i would like to know is the pakistani tradion from
A-Z (especially for the first child).
Like what is given to childs grandparents as gift on his/her birth? What kind of party is done big or small ( i know it depends on economy but lets say you dont have that much economical problems)? is something given to to the mother of the child and by whom? is something given to the child by grandparents? any other family member that should be given a gift? what kind of gifts should be given to the family? etc
Please give me good ideas as my sister has gotten pregnant after 8 years for first time after going through a lot so even she wants this occasion to be a day to be special. Unfortunatly my parents dont know that much either so please help…
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
Please post pics as well if u guys got any from aqiqah celebration..
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of child birth)
I actually went to one two months ago, it was a family friends child and they had rented out a small hall, about 50 people and they served food, had sort of a childrens party to one side and handed out party bags to then and played some party games too. and then some children recited passages from the quran and people brought presents
When all was over people even dances and they had a cake, it was good fun.
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of child birth)
oh yeh decoraration wise it wasnt done up too much, decorations were the type u'd find at a birthday, oh yeh cos there quite a few kids there too they had a bouncy castle too- a small one in the hall
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of child birth)
Thanx a lot for the reply so what do u think having a beautiful decoration great food be wierd does the decoration have to be childish? do you know rest of the traditions like i asked what should be given to inlaws and what do they give?
Anyone else who can help???
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
i want to know whats done from an islamic point of view too... in our fam, we just have a big party and everyone meets the new baby but i didnt know something religious was involved too?
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
i want to know whats done from an islamic point of view too... in our fam, we just have a big party and everyone meets the new baby but i didnt know something religious was involved too?
What i meant was that i know all about qurbani bakra and stuff, but what i need to know is pakistani tradition in detail...
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of child birth)
I'm not sure what should be given by the inlaws but the mother-in-law of this women gave her sme gold and fed poor people in pakistan, the decorations werent too childish but they werent OTT either, something in the middle so it felt like a childrens party and a grown ups too.
I dont know anything about the rest of the traditions, but good luck finding out, have u tryed googling it too, might find some extra info
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thanx again yes i tried to search but couldnt find anything:(
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
it's a big celebration. the whole family, friends, neighbours are invited. usually the parents don't get anything. neither do the grandparents. it's an occasion for the child only, so they get everything. think of it as a desi baby shower, except the child's born and is older.
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
Thanx i think i have heard that mother in law and daughter in law give gift to eachother???
it's a big celebration. the whole family, friends, neighbours are invited. usually the parents don't get anything. neither do the grandparents. it's an occasion for the child only, so they get everything. think of it as a desi baby shower, except the child's born and is older.
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anyone else who can help?
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of child birth)
http://www.maryams.net/dervish/2004/01/23/aqiqah/ this is quite informative..
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of child birth)
I'd say that given that you mention that your sister has been through a lot and has conceived after 8 years, that you try to maintain some level of religion in the celebrations. That doesn't mean DON'T celebrate, but I mean that you should remember to thank Allah SWT for his blessing. Maybe you could feed poor people in Pakistan? (That's what we intend to dowhen Allah SWT blesses us with a child - feed 100 poor people in India)
You could have a gathering - a meal for family and friends.
In terms of gifts - I would say that the nana nani/dada dadi would give a special gift to the child - plus also they would give something to your sister. Something that would remind her that she received it when she had the baby? (Gold? Maybe everyone could plan to buy her co-ordinates that make up a "set" of jewellery?)
Hope that helps?
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
Encouragement to have Children
Allaah says, “So now have sexual relations with them, and seek that
which Allaah has ordained for you.”
And the Prophet (SAW) said, “Marry the loving and fertile because
through you, I will compete with the nations for superiority in
numbers”(Abu Dawood)
And it is important that the Parents bring up their children upon
righteousness, so that the Parents will benefit from them during
their lives and after their death. Allaah’s Messenger (SAW) said,
“A servant will have his rank raised and will say, ‘O my Lord how has
this come about for me?’ He says, ‘through your sons after you
seeking forgiveness for you’”(ibn Maajah)
Know that what has preceded applies equally to both boys and girls,
and indeed Islaam has encouraged the bringing up of girls, and Allaah
condemns those that are distressed at the birth of a girl, and the
Messenger (SAW) came elevating the status of this gift from Allaah,
“whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and
I will come together on the Day of Resurrection (like this) - and he
interlaced his two fingers”(Muslim)
meaning in Paradise. So can their be a greater honour given to
daughters?!
So here are the manners the Prophet (SAW) taught us with regards our
new-born.
1) Giving the good news of the Birth
The near of kin who are anxiously waiting should be informed so that
they can stop worrying and congratulate the parents and supplicate
for the baby. Allaah mentions this good news being conveyed to a
number of His Prophets, from them Zakariyyah of his son Yahya,
“Then the angels called him, while he was standing in prayer in a
private room (saying), ‘Allaah gives you glad tidings of Yahya’”
2) Giving the Adhaan in the ear of the newborn
The first practice to do is to make the adhaan in the ear of the
baby, so that the first words that the baby hears is the name of
Allaah, and the kalima.
It is to be given straight after the birth, or very soon afterwards
as he (SAW) did with his grandson al-Husayn, as is related by Abu
Raafi’ who said,
“I saw the Prophet give the adhaan for prayer in the ear of al-Husayn
ibn Alee when his mother Faatimah gave birth to him,” (Tirmidhee)
It should be given with it’s usual wording in a voice which is
audible to the baby, not so loudly that it risks harm to the baby or
alarms it.
Only the adhaan is to be given, not the iqaamah as well as there is
no authentic evidence to support this. Giving the adhaan only is also
the reported practice of the Khaleefah Umar bin Abdul Azeez. This is
closer to the sunnah, and Allaah knows best.
The sunnah has not specified as to which ear it should be given,
however the Messenger (SAW) used to love to do good actions starting
from the right, so it would be more appropriate to give the adhaan in
the right ear.
3) The Tahneek
This means to softening a date and then rubbing the palate of the new-
born with it just after the birth or soon after. This is done by
putting a piece of the softened date on the finger and rubbing it
from left to right in the mouth of the baby.
Ibn Hajr said, “if one is not able to find a dry date, then a fresh
date should be used, and if that is not available then anything
sweet.” (Fath 9/588)
It is not essential to chew the date rather it may be softened in any
way. The action of chewing as reported in the sunnah was something
specific to the Messenger (SAW) due to the blessings that Allaah had
placed in his saliva.
It is done by the father or the mother or anyone from the People of
Knowledge whose supplication is hoped would be accepted. So he should
perform tahneek and supplicate for the child as was the practice of
the Companions.
Imaam Nawawee says, " scholars are agreed upon the recommendation of
performing tahneek upon the baby after it’s birth." (Sharh Saheeh
Muslim 4/122)
Aaishah (ra) reports, “new-born children used to be brought to the
Messenger of Allaah and he would supplicate for blessings for them,
and rub a chewed date upon their palate.” (Muslim)
4) Naming the child
The baby may be named on the day of it’s birth or later on the
seventh day or past the seventh day, as this is what is clear after
study of all the evidences from the sunnah.
It is the father or the mother who chose the name for the baby. If
they differ amongst themselves then it is the father who has the
choice, he may name it himself or give his wife the right to choose.
The fact that this is the right of the father is shown by the
principle that the child is ascribed and attributed to the father, as
Allaah says,
“Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is
more just in the Sight of Allaah”
It is also allowed for the parents to allow others to name the child,
since our Prophet (SAW) used to name some of the children of his
Companions.
The name should carry a good and praiseworthy meaning as the
Messenger (SAW) said,
“On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and
your fathers names, so make your names good.” (Abu Dawood)
It is recommended to call oneself a servant of Allaah (Abdullaah) or
the servant of any of the names of Allaah. Then it is recommended to
name a child after a prophet, due to the hadeeth,
“call yourselves by the names of the Prophets” (Abu Dawood)
and the hadeeth,
“a son was born to me this night and I called him after my forefather
Ibraaheem” (Muslim)
Then it is recommended to name the child after any pious person in
the hope that it will become like him/her. Then it is recommended to
name by any name which has good meaning.
It is forbidden to name a child with a name that denote servitude to
other than Allaah, for example Abd an-Nabi, Abd ar-Rasool etc, just
as it is forbidden to name them with names that are particular to the
Unbelievers like George, Michael, Susan etc.
The names of tyrants and evil personalities should be avoided such as
Fir’awn, Qaroon, Abu Lahab etc.. Likewise it is disliked to name with
the names of the Surahs of the Qur’aan like ‘Taa Haa’ or ‘Yaa Seen’
as is reported from Imaam Maalik and others. There is no authentic
hadeeth which ascribes the above two as being names of the Prophet
(SAW).
5) The Aqeeqah
After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of
welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings,
it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger (SAW) said,
“Every child is in pledge for it’s Aqeeqah which is sacrificed for it
on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved”
(Abu Dawood)
If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if
it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of
the scholars and Companions. The Prophet (SAW) said,
“for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep.” (Ibn
Maajah)
So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat,
and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars
have differed over this.
The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for
our Prophet (SAW) performed the Aqeeqah for his two grandsons. It is
also obligatory to mention the name of Allaah over it while
sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqeeqah then
he should add, ‘this aqeeqah is the Aqeeqah of so and so’ mentioning
the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqeeqah,
as is reported in the hadeeth related by al-Bayhaqee.
The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked, but
it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater
blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.
6) Shaving the baby’s head
On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be
shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet (SAW) told his
daughter, Faatima (RA),
“shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the
poor” (Ahmad)
The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as
mentioned in the hadeeth,
“shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the
left” (Muslim)
It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part,
as this was prohibited by the Messenger (SAW) as reported by al-
Bukhaaree. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or
the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the
hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and
Allaah knows best.
The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, …
It is reported by Buraydah (RA) “During the age of ignorance, when a child was born to anyone of us, we used to slaughter a goat and smear the child with its blood. Later, after the dawn of Islam, our practice became (on the advice of the Prophet) that we sacrifice a goat of Aqeeqah on the seventh day after the birth of the child, shave the head of the infant and apply saffron on it”.
Sunan Abu Dawood 2:2137
http://www.missionislam.com/family/rightsnewborn.htm
Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby’s weight of hair
in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on
the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be
delayed.
Shaving the baby’s head then anointing it with saffron:
After doing this, it is recommended to give to charity gold or silver equal in weight to the baby’s hair. This does not have to be done by actually weighing the hair; if it is too difficult to do that, it is sufficient to estimate the weight and give paper currency equivalent to the price of that amount of gold or silver.
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544576
7) Circumcision
It is prescribed that the boy be circumcised, it is recommended that
the circumcision take place on the seventh day, but it is obligatory
to circumcise before the boy reaches puberty.
http://www.ummah.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-34126.html
`Aqeeqah and circumcision:
It is reported on the authority of Salman Ibn Amir, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: **“For the boy there should be an *Aqeeqah*. Slaughter (an animal) for him and remove the harmful thing * from him.”** (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, 1515; An-Nasa’i, 4214; Abu Dawood, 2839; Ibn Majah, 3164. The Hadith was reckoned as Saheeh (authentic) by Al-Albani, may Allah have mercy on him, in Al-Irwa’, 4/396).
It is reported that Samurah Ibn Jundub, may Allah be pleased with him, quotes the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, as saying: “A boy is ransomed by his `Aqeeqah. Sacrifice should be made for him on the seventh day, he should be given a name and his head should be shaved.” (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, 1522; An-Nasaa’i, 4220 and Abu Dawood, 2838. The Hadith is classed as Saheeh by Al-Albani, may Allah have mercy on him, in Al-Irwaa’ 4/385).
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, states: "Among the benefits of `Aqeeqah are:
a-It is a sacrifice by means of which the child is brought close to Allah soon after he comes into this world.
b-It is a ransom for the newborn so that he or she can intercede for his parents.
c-It is a sacrifice by which the newborn is ransomed just as Allah ransomed Ismaeel with the ram. (*Tuhfat al-Mawdood*, p. 69)." d-Perhaps another benefit of the *Aqeeqah* is the gathering of relatives and friends for the Waleemah (feast).
As for circumcision, it is part of the Sunan Al-Fitrah (practices akin to the true nature of people). It is obligatory in the case of boys because it is connected to matters of purity, which are essential conditions of prayer.
Abu Hurayrah narrates: “Five things are related to the Fitrah: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, plucking the armpit hair, cutting the nails, and trimming the moustache.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhaari, 5550; Muslim, 257). *
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
Aslamualikum, jus thot u guys wud like to know :)
*Aqeeqa and Circumcision *
- It is Sunnat to make Aqeeqa on the 7th day after the birth of a child, but if this is not possible, it shold be done on the 15th or 21st day.
- If one is not capable of doing so, then one may slaughter any time before the puberty of the child. After puberty, the person should slaughter for himself/herself.
- It is required to make Aqeeqa of two sheep for a boy and one sheep for a girl.
- The Aqeeqa should be divided into three parts: one part is to be given to the poor, one to friends and family and one part to be used in the house.
- It is preferable that the bones should not be broken but separated by the joints and buried after eating.
- It is also better that the child be named by the 7th day from the time of the birth. A good name, preferably one of the names of the Ambiya or of a Sahabi would be of Barakat. "Mohammed" is the best. Names such as this should never be mispronounced.
- During Aqeeqa (7th day) the child's hair can also be removed and the equivalent weight in Silver should be given in Sadaqah. Soaked Saffron can be rubbed on the child's head after the hair is removed.
- It is also permissible to make Aqeeqa of one cow for a few children, meaning 2/7 part of a cow for a boy and one part for a girl.
- One should not borrow money to make Aqeeqa as it is not compulsory on a person that cannot afford it. Aqeeqa is not Fardh or Waajib but it is a sunnat. ]Circumcision* is a Sunnat for males between the ages of 7 to 12 years. To circumcise after the age of 12 is prohibited. It is best to circumcise at an early age, even during Aqeeqa (7th day) as the child heals very quickly and does not suffer much. There is no need to have functions to celebrate the process of circumcision.
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
^ thats a lot guys!!! very helpful info.
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
Off-topic Q, but why one sheep for a girl and two for a boy?
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
Off-topic Q, but why one sheep for a girl and two for a boy?
The more you own the more you have to give in charity, boy gets more money and property in inheritance, thats why.
Re: Aqiqah (celebration of the child birth)
Thanx for th replies i have the knowledge abt qurbani and all that we will be feedig the poor and follow all the islamic ways inshallah. I was wondering more about the pakistani tradition the party, what cloths to wear, what gifts to give and stuff, anyone who can share there experience how big event can one have like a wedding day? how heavy cloths can the mom wear, any ideas or advice to make the day memorable????