these days there’s a case going on in pakistan abt an adult sindhi girl from a conservative sindhi tribe who did her ‘marzi kee shadi’ … im forgetting her name… but the story is all over the news these days…
she basically ran away with a guy and they got married
the pakistani courts have given the ruling that balagh larki apni psand se shadi ker sakti hae
the tribe of the girl has threatened to kill her…
i have no idea what they r going to achieve by that and why they r so desperate to preserve hollow unislamic traditions…
i was watching her interview on tv yesterday…she was petrified and was constantly saying that her tribe is gona kill her…she is in police protection right now…
recently the guy whom she eloped with also gave her divorce in the court…and she doesnt know the reason…speculation is that her family forced him to…
What a wuss! After all of that, he divorced her? Well, who knows what the reason was but it would have been better if he actually stood by his wife rather than run away.
Exactly. He shouldn't have divorced her given the circumstances. He could have waited and let the scandal subside. I am not criticizing him giving the divorce but the timing is/was not right.
that was my first reaction abt the guy too...what a @%#^$$%&...
lekin...
who knows what his situation was...we all know the degree of lawlesness in pak
besides whats he gona do if he had a powerful sindhi tribe after his life and possibly his parents and siblings lives too and he dint have the resources to resist...i mean who knows the reason...maybe they were threatening to kill his whole family or abduct his female relatives or something...aisa bhee to hota hae na...
maybe he will remarry the girl...or maybe they told him if he divorces her they will spare her life...
who knows...there can be ten million scenarios here...
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*Originally posted by irem: *
besides whats he gona do if he had a powerful sindhi tribe after his life and possibly his parents and siblings lives too and he dint have the resources to resist...i mean who knows the reason...maybe they were threatening to kill his whole family or abduct his female relatives or something...aisa bhee to hota hae na...
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Well, perhaps he should have thought about this before first running away with her and then marrying her!
Well, perhaps he should have thought about this before first running away with her and then marrying her!
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yeah true...but sometimes we take hasty and emotional decisions in life...specially in such circumstances...v have this blind optimism that the future will be ok
i dont think we can really judge the issue here
i feel bad for both of them tho...and man that girl was so scared on tv i was sitting in the comfort of my home but even i felt scared for her...
this whole thing just really sucks big time...i wish they could just immigrate to canada or something and live happily everafter
hmmm...i think different sects have different beliefs...some say the woman can just complete the period of her iddat and then remarry that person...
some say she has to marry someone else in the middle too...and a subset of these say she can marry the Quran and then get married back to that same person...
this is all stuff i have only heard tho, i dont know what the most commonly practiced thing is...
do u know what it is? do post..thanks..
also if the guy didnt divorce her with that NIYYAT in his heart...and somehow conveyed that to her...then is it still a divorce? i mean at the end of the day its between the couple and Allah
I didn't know of all these choices. I thought the only choice was for both to get married separatley to different people, divorce them and ONLY then they could re-marry. Almost impossible if you ask me. This is to discourage divorce in the first place.
hmmm...marrying the Quran is another rural tradition where the girl is married to the Quran...its usually done to keep the lands within the possession of the girls family and to also tell ppl that the girl's been married and satisfy the girl that she's now married..
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*Originally posted by mehroo: *
That's indeed very sad yara :o
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it is isnt it mehroo aapi :/
u shud have seen her on TV...she was scared for her life..i was thinking, she left her family for that guy and today what does she have, neither that guy nor her family...they hate her and want to kill her...so wo apni jaan se bhee haath dho baithay gi...her life now is basically to just live in remorse n loneliness and await death...
and she cant even help this...
and i dont have any doubt that they will kill her...police kab tak us ko protect karay gi...these tribes r very serious abt these matters n they r not going to spare her at any cost...
and usually the father of the girl and if hes not alive then her eldest brother is the one who kills her
i wish the govt of pakistan sends her to an unknown foreign location, admits her to a school and she can give a fresh start to her life there maybe
irem, forgive me if I am wrong but I am sensing you are talking about all this and saying, "look girls, this is what can happen to you if you go against your parent's wishes".
umm...i dono...im not really giving a mssg i guess...just discussing this whole situation...
i have never experienced these kind of restrictions alhamdulillah...my parents let me do whatever i want...so i cant really even put myself in her shoes...
if any lesson has to be learnt...i guess it is firstly that some of our traditions r messed up, and secondly that girls r too naive and in the end they suffer coz of that
The fact that the parents are issuing death threats for their daughter is proof enough that they are unreasonable people. So, my heart and mind is for the girl who took a courageous step to go against the cruel parents.
The fact that she got divorced does not and should not take away an iota from the courage shown by her.
but then again a whole population cant be unreasonable and cruel can it? coz everyone in that tribe [or for that matter most rural tribes] follows that tradition...ppl r mentally so bound by tradition, they just cant break them or think outside...its just their way of life...i dono...
hmm...unless we r them we cant really say anything or call them creul tho i think...
khayr...i too wish the best for her and pray for an end to such traditions...
better get back to the essay i have to finish n on which i'm procrastinating on for now...thanks for ur replies to the thread...
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*Originally posted by irem: *
but then again a whole population cant be unreasonable and cruel can it? coz everyone in that tribe [or for that matter most rural tribes] follows that tradition...ppl r mentally so bound by tradition, they just cant break them or think outside...its just their way of life...i dono...
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Hmm ... once again, culture and "traditions" take precedence over what Islam actually says. As far as I know, Islamically, you aren't supposed to just issue death threats and kill ppl for the sake of "honour". With that kind of attitude, we won't be seeing any change at all.