that the guys on here who seem to have the most rigid or misogynistic views regarding women (eg. women must not work after marriage, women won’t get raped if they cover up, we only wear makeup to attract men, wives are out to ‘take away’ their husbands from his parents etc)** tend to be those who are not married or have never been in a relationship**.. So is the reason for those views:
(a) lack of success with the opposite sex
(b) lack of interaction with the opposite sex
(c) something else..
(Am not saying that most unmarried/‘pure’ guys think this way.. just that those who seem the most obsessed with controlling women on the whole seem to fit into that category.. I do also wonder if they have sisters)..
Yes, I have also noticed that, but I'm wondering if apart from the experience of marriage....could there be other factors? Could being the only son...or perhaps just having one parent (as in mom) be a possible reason for some of them having feelings of denial/fear (where they are reluctant to believe that a MIL can be malicious) when reading threads about abusive in-laws?
Its because they don't have experience being in that situation yet. Its the married men who either have been in the exact situation being posted or something similar to that. Married men or the one in relationship have someone they love or care enough about to actually sit and think that hey she is not wrong.
I don't blame the single guys for not understanding something that is probably easier for a married men to understand. Experience, halat, relationship changes you. Once they go through it, they'll change their opinions too. Let them enjoy for now :D
But we read threads in the Life1 forum where some MARRIED men either abuse their wives or support their parents in abusing their wives. That said...is the experience of marriage enough to have an open mind? Or is there more to it? I think there is.
But we read threads in the Life1 forum where some MARRIED men either abuse their wives or support their parents in abusing their wives. That said...is the experience of marriage enough to have an open mind? Or is there more to it? I think there is.
on a serious note a lot of factors can contribute to this. It just isn't about being married or unmarried, it's about the kind of circumstances these men have been brought up in as well as the general social and cultural pressures around them.
on a serious note a lot of factors can contribute to this. It just isn't about being married or unmarried, it's about the kind of circumstances these men have been brought up in as well as the general social and cultural pressures around them.
Exactly. I just put forth one possibility which may factor into their attitudes...but I understand that there may be other reasons. The most fundamental of them being upbringing...societal pressures/expectations...and to an extent one's own individual personality as well. It's not limited to marital experience or the lack thereof.
Its because they don't have experience being in that situation yet. Its the married men who either have been in the exact situation being posted or something similar to that. Married men or the one in relationship have someone they love or care enough about to actually sit and think that hey she is not wrong.
I don't blame the single guys for not understanding something that is probably easier for a married men to understand. Experience, halat, relationship changes you. Once they go through it, they'll change their opinions too. Let them enjoy for now :D
To me it's strange that the ones who are 'unexperienced' like to think they know so much about how and why women behave the way we do as if they're experts.. It's really bizarre.. It would be like me saying I know the ins and outs of the behaviour of a cat even tho I've prob never spent more than 5 or 10mins with one in my entire life.. If you haven't experienced something I'd have thought you'd be more open-minded, not have that tunnel vision and convinced you are right.. hmmm but then again ppl who are racist seem to not have had much interaction with the ppl they're prejudiced against so perhaps it's the same with a misogynist..
Apart from EDAL I can't think of one married male poster who consistently held the sort of extreme views which I've heard from quite a few single guys on here..
Apart from EDAL I can't think of one married male poster who consistently held the sort of extreme views which I've heard from quite a few single guys on here..
The married posters here to name a few (Mirch, TLK, Decent6chora) are balanced in their views. They seem to have an open mind prior to reading the threads....their minds are not already made up or leaning toward a particular stance. Hence they're able to see things from multiple angles and respond in a flexible manner. Out of the single guys there are some positive exceptions. To name a few Shak, Icesoul, Naabigh, Spock. But you're right that the more extreme views or dismissive views about women.....seem to come more from the single guys here.
my question is - how in the world can you come to these wild and radical conclusions/remarks merely after reading few of their posts (while having no clue who they really are, what they really do, how they really live, etc. etc.)?
It's hardly radical.. If someone consistently posts in the same way attacking women it's fairly easy to see what they're like.. As RV pointed out there are exceptions such as Mirch, Icesoul, Xtron etc. who are objective and varied in their answers according to the situation whilst a number of other male posters will pretty much always push the same sort of viewpoint..
Not surprising that someone like you who wrote that a desi woman can't survive without a husband (despite a lot of us actually having seen otherwise) has issues with this thread.. Case in point..
