esp the older lot, i dont understand why they have to work their bones off during their younger days and even now at 50+ are running around doing heavyload work, messing up their joints…and then theyre in pain. alot of it. cant walk. etc.
However, they are PROUD of this. they are proud or seem proud to say that they are running around after their husbands/housework/etc and seem happy to let the world know that hey i may be on crutches/have severe joint pain/cant feel my legs/broken back/etc it seems like its something to be happy about…why would you do that? my MIL used to move beds, all myherself, cos she said noone esle did it…sooooooo…and now your paying for it. but she seems proud of it and looks at me like huhhh your nothing compared to how i was/am..is this a competition…?
FOR ME, maybe i dontcare, but i would neverrrr run myself raggered for anyone, never move a bed myself,to hell with it if no one else does it…why ruin your life…
what i ont get, is these people pray to god, namaz, for their health, why? IF I PRAY for my health, il make damn sure im not lifting the entire bedroom furntiture by myself, or even worse, is when my dad/FIL gets up to get THEIR OWN GLASS OF WATER and youll see my mum/MIL 1000 mile an hour karate chop them before they get to the watercooler, and do it themsevles, however much they could be ill themselves…
my MIL is ill these days, her husband looks after her, she feels guilty she told me biwi khidmet kay liye hoti hai, not husband, we should be looking after him......…wtf…
yes but then i get lectures from MIL who lectures my husband about me too, on how i need to be a better bahuuu by making my inlaws brekkie in the morning,at some ungodly hour, how i need to run myself raggered for my husband, how i need to be more responsblewtever the hell that means...these lectures start randomly, esp when she sees her son making his own tea, warming his own food, cleaning his own aas....
I think husband and wife should take balanced roles but i don't see anything wrong with a wife's thinking if she likes to serve her husband at any given opportunity. The husband is out all day working hard for the wife and the family so i don't why its such a gunnah, if the wife wants him to rest when he gets home. Yes spoon feeding him is wrong and not taking care of your own self is even more wrong but otherwise it's ok.
I don't agree with her telling you off all the time (would she do that to her own daughter?) but I think it's kinda cute when women feel proud for taking care of their house and family. Wouldn't you be proud if you did well and worked very hard at workplace? For our mothers, their home is their workplace. You and I aren't too happy about doing other people's khidmat but those who are do deserve some respect. Just last night, mum came into my room at 4 AM when she was up for Fajr, took away my razaai and put a blanket on me coz I had been complaining that its getting too hot now. :) I would never have thought of doing that for her, that's just the way mothers are.
Many women (not just Pakistani, but most Pakistani women I've met do have this) have a martyr complex. The only way they know to earn praise is through sacrifice. That is why they expect the next generation to make sacrifices for their happiness and end up getting ludicrously involved in bahu-son drama -- they never sought their own happiness.
I think all mothers are like that. They work like machine but there is nothing wrong in it. Work keep them busy all day long which leads to depression free life. Seriously my mom is same like your mother in law in home chores. She changes setting in every three months (because she gets tired of old setting) mostly by her own self. I just little bit help her (i am very lazy :o). And i think she gets this workaholic trait from my grand mother. I always saw her working in kitchen when she was well in fact when she started living with my Mamoo she always complained k mami unhy koi kam nahin kenry deti she was indeed very active women even in her old age.
when my mother gets ill and my father takes over kitchen she doesn't feel guilty at all.... because she doesn't think k "aurat sirf khidmat k liye hoti hai". Obviously she takes care of herself when she is ill or even when she is not ill she always take good diet and all that's why she has all the energy MAshaAllah (mujhy isi na khany peeny per dant bhi perti hai :p).
I think we should be proud of our mothers and even MIL who work hard and don't sit idle all day.
First of all, I dont agree with the wives who proudly announce "allah, xxx bhai itna kaam kertey hain kitchen main, YEEE tu pani bhi uth ker nahi peetay - mard kitch main thori achey lagtey hain" (yes I have heard that few times while helping my wife in Kitchen) but It can no way justify
your MIL is ill,
your FIL is taking care of her
and your MIL asked u to take care of him
and she gets WTF
...WOW
U can be as independent as you want, believe me, at the end of the day, you need people around you. people who can help you, people who ask for your help. This is how life dynamics works.
First of all, I dont agree with the wives who proudly announce "allah, xxx bhai itna kaam kertey hain kitchen main, YEEE tu pani bhi uth ker nahi peetay - mard kitch main thori achey lagtey hain" (yes I have heard that few times while helping my wife in Kitchen) but It can no way justify
your MIL is ill,
your FIL is taking care of her
and your MIL asked u to take care of him
and she gets WTF
...WOW
U can be as independent as you want, believe me, at the end of the day, you need people around you. people who can help you, people who ask for your help. This is how life dynamics works.
I am totally agreed with you here. My father loves cooking and when i tell this to my friends or they see him in the kitchen.. their response is totally shocking "tmhry father khana pakaty hain.. tum logoon ko sharam nahin ati jab woh kitchen main hoty hain" blah blah blah.... Means where it is written that men should not cook.. in fact men are good cooks as compared to women. My father does not only cook food but he usually does his own work. Never ask us to do something for him even kabhi eik glass pani bhi hum sey nahin manga MashaAllah sey. I think every men should be like him.