My hubby's best friend lived with two gori girls (just roomates) for about 6 months. he says "when his wife is not in the room" - those were the gold old days. He has 4 children now!
How often hubby use to pay him visit back then ?? lolzzzzzz
How did it work out? And if you were both desi, did you get raised eyebrows from family and friends?
i did...i'm proud of it...she is not...hisab barabar.
In the west so many people live together, many dont have the intention of marriage even, esp men who use women as a toy only. The women sometimes do want 2 get married mostly but are left when they talk of children or even become pregnant. Tauba! The women are left with either nothing or an illegimate child.
This "esp" comment in bold is totally wrong. Its not men only. Its women also equally. They want to live with men and enjoy their liberty at the same time. Now if they get pregnant, this is some other story. Most often its just a unwanted "haadsa"
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
we have a family friend that lives with his gf, she's pakistani too
so I mean, I think its not THAT big a deal
I would'nt do it, but i dunno
In the west so many people live together, many dont have the intention of marriage even, esp men who use women as a toy only. The women sometimes do want 2 get married mostly but are left when they talk of children or even become pregnant. Tauba! The women are left with either nothing or an illegimate child.
Most of the people who live together dont marry ji and if they do then either due to money, fame and seldomly out of love.
NEVER LIVE under one roof without nikkah, it is just satans work!!
you make these women sound like sattisavitriyan. living in a western society...free and modern...they went into a relationship on their own accord...moved in on their own decision. thats all well and good. but you can not force ur decision on others when it comes to having kids. i don't understand why women make it sound like such a HUGE problem when men say they are not ready to have kids. which part of that is difficult for women to understand? you are literally forcing a man to be the father of your kids who in all his sanity have already stated that he doesn't want to...atleast not for the time being. and then when they leave the kids and mommydear behind...whole hell breaks loose as if he is the one responsible for bringing them into this world and women did nothing but to obey his commands and wishes.
My hubby's best friend lived with two gori girls (just roomates) for about 6 months. he says "when his wife is not in the room" - those were the gold old days*. He has 4 children now*!
and they didn't sue him for child support! wow...
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
I can't tell my own experience, but my friend had one girlfriend since his sophomore year of high school and now he is 23 granted their relationship always been a little shaky and they have been through a lot together but last year they decided to share an apartment.
It didn't work out so well, they broke up and everyone thought it was pretty much over, something to do with she wanted to move to a different city and he didn't(whatever right) anyways they are back together again...
Oh yeh their families cut off ties ... :@:
and they didn't sue him for child support! wow...
Why would he pay child support?
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
Why are people finding this topic so offensive? If there can be numerous threads about adultery, molestation and even constant revivals of years old threads on sex and prostitutions, why is suddenly this thread so 'tauba tauba'? lol.
It's a given that live in relationships are haram and will never be accepted in the desi culture but the fact is, they do happen. A couple of people I know have done it without their parents knowing, the most easy way to get away with it is if you're in uni and living away from home. There's also a sad, sad story that I know of: There's a desi family who's been living here since the last 35 years or so. Very well off people and both the parents are extremely religious. When we first met the mother, it was obvious how strict she is about following religion and all so imagine the surprise when we found out that her kids are totally the opposite. Her oldest one was 'rumored' to have lived with some hispanic guy earlier who later dumped her and she returned back to her parents. Finally after some time, she agreed to get married and they found her some guy from Pakistan who was here on some kind of visa thing to work. The two of them met, liked each other and a small Nikkah was done. His family did not participate because they were in Pakistan and a year later, they had a beautiful son. Anyway, a couple of years down the road, the husband found out about his wife's previous live in relationship. Noone knows how and when but instead of asking her about it or saying anything, he withdrew all the money from bank accounts, her jewelry from locker, and basically anything and everything he could get his hands on, and then told his wife he was going to Pakistan because his mother was very sick. The wife said okay and he left. She went to the bank later on to find out nothing was there anymore. She tried calling him but no answer. She would call his house in Pakistan who would hang up the phone as soon as they would hear her voice. Finally after 3 weeks, she went to Pakistan with her son and brother, and that's when the husband told her he didn't want to even see her face because he found out all about her past. Now, she's a single mom raising her son, very quiet and doesn't really interact much with anyone.
I really hope that when people get into such situations, i.e live in relationships and all, they atleast should think about the outcomes in the future and also how much shame this can bring to their family. Especially girls because sadly in our culture, guys tend to get away with alot of things but as a female, you're always held accountable for everything.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
The difficult part is when Desi + Western collide. Except everything go smoothly
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
My dada's brother moved in with his gori girlfriend in the 50s and never married her. Apparently back then my family cut off ties and didn't acknowledge him as part of the family for around 20 years until she died of an illness and the ba$tard son he fathered with her died in a motorbiking accident.
After that, with no evidence remaining above ground level of the stain he made on our family's honour, he was reaccepted and everyone pretended that sordid little chapter never happened.
Why are people finding this topic so offensive? If there can be numerous threads about adultery, molestation and even constant revivals of years old threads on sex and prostitutions, why is suddenly this thread so 'tauba tauba'? lol.
It's a given that live in relationships are haram and will never be accepted in the desi culture but the fact is, they do happen. A couple of people I know have done it without their parents knowing, the most easy way to get away with it is if you're in uni and living away from home. There's also a sad, sad story that I know of: There's a desi family who's been living here since the last 35 years or so. Very well off people and both the parents are extremely religious. When we first met the mother, it was obvious how strict she is about following religion and all so imagine the surprise when we found out that her kids are totally the opposite. Her oldest one was 'rumored' to have lived with some hispanic guy earlier who later dumped her and she returned back to her parents. Finally after some time, she agreed to get married and they found her some guy from Pakistan who was here on some kind of visa thing to work. The two of them met, liked each other and a small Nikkah was done. His family did not participate because they were in Pakistan and a year later, they had a beautiful son. Anyway, a couple of years down the road, the husband found out about his wife's previous live in relationship. Noone knows how and when but instead of asking her about it or saying anything, he withdrew all the money from bank accounts, her jewelry from locker, and basically anything and everything he could get his hands on, and then told his wife he was going to Pakistan because his mother was very sick. The wife said okay and he left. She went to the bank later on to find out nothing was there anymore. She tried calling him but no answer. She would call his house in Pakistan who would hang up the phone as soon as they would hear her voice. Finally after 3 weeks, she went to Pakistan with her son and brother, and that's when the husband told her he didn't want to even see her face because he found out all about her past. Now, she's a single mom raising her son, very quiet and doesn't really interact much with anyone.
I really hope that when people get into such situations, i.e live in relationships and all, they atleast should think about the outcomes in the future and also how much shame this can bring to their family. Especially girls because sadly in our culture, guys tend to get away with alot of things but as a female, you're always held accountable for everything.
just the bold part...my opinion is that if you have the guts and no-brains to do something that is against the values and morals of those near and dear to you then also have the guts to stand up to them for your actions and don't use lame excuses like boys get away with everything and girls don't. girls, those who want to enjoy life in their own way, should also keep in mind the consequences and plan their own life n destiny from that point on wards. i'm not at all against girls having fun and doing whatever they want to do...however i do am against them shutting down the shop all together and trying to live like others want them to be. agar qadam uthaya hai to berhtay jao verna safar shuru hi na kero. if you are going to bow down in the end then might as well not try to stand up at all.
My dada's brother moved in with his gori girlfriend in the 50s and never married her. Apparently back then my family cut off ties and didn't acknowledge him as part of the family for around 20 years until she died of an illness and the ba$tard son he fathered with her died in a motorbiking accident.
After that, with no evidence remaining above ground level of the stain he made on our family's honour, he was reaccepted and everyone pretended that sordid little chapter never happened.
yeah my great uncle had a gori girlfriend when he was in europe for work. he tells his kids so proudly that he was so hot that even goris were after him. his wife knows too. he still has her pictures and his kids show them to people happily.
messed up family..yeah i know
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
In California I came to know of a young Pakistani widow , she was living with a Pakistani man as a room mate. She used to call him bhai. She was working at a store at minimum wage an hour. She needed money at the end of month and I and my wife helped her out many a times. We did not judge her character based on how she was living and with whom. She seemed to possess good moral character. She was widow of a very rich guy but once this attorney died the family of that attorney kicked her out. She ended up being room mate to this guy. I never met him.
Both of them got married separately, ultimately.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
^ Its good to know the poor woman had a (hopefully) future after that.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
Ok just wondering. People are saying how this is bad, how messed up it is, and how people look down upon this. But just 35-40 years people had the same attitude towards dating and love marriage. Now, people on this forum are asking advice about dating, how to approach guy or girl, what gift to give gf/bf, and posting all kinds of relationship issues.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
I dont know if living with a guy or girl will ever be acceptable in our culture.
Ok just wondering. People are saying how this is bad, how messed up it is, and how people look down upon this. But just 35-40 years people had the same attitude towards dating and love marriage. Now, people on this forum are asking advice about dating, how to approach guy or girl, what gift to give gf/bf, and posting all kinds of relationship issues.
Well il keep my post nice and short dont want you falling asleep half way through it....:p
The point ur making is "are pakiz/muslims getting to western?", well i also thought the samething coming across some of these threads. Why worry abt others. We are all accountable for our actions, and like the wise one said "we all know whats right and wrong deep down". just have fun and try not to get too influenced by them.....:)
Ok just wondering. People are saying how this is bad, how messed up it is, and how people look down upon this. But just 35-40 years people had the same attitude towards dating and love marriage. Now, people on this forum are asking advice about dating, how to approach guy or girl, what gift to give gf/bf, and posting all kinds of relationship issues.
you are not from pakistan are you ?
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
^what has tht got to do with anything?