If so, please do share stories, anecdotes and frustrations.
Here in Relationships you always hear people griping about the rishta process, the parents in between causing difficulties, the expectations and ofcourse the meddling aunties.
Well, let’s hear your side of the story.
I asked an older work colleague of mine a long time ago this question. I wasn’t exactly best buddies with him so didn’t want to prod too much. He had a son and a daughter, and he said that everyone lies a lot. People would claim to have Masters degrees, but in reality they were still working on a bachelors degree. People would lie about property, when they were just renting.
I found one thing rather odd. He was an Indian Muslim, and he said that it was rather difficult to look for another Indian Muslim through the proper rishta process. He said it was easier for Pakistanis. Maybe just his experience because there are so many Indians here in the US, so I found that odd
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
I'm not an aunty with grown kids but I do remember some horrible experiences in my extended family... both cousins (girls) are happily married now.
Some of the horrible experiences that my aunty and uncle mentioned included:
parents going through with the process without the consent of the guy, who had a gf they just didn't know about, when it came time for the girl and guy to exchange contact info and speak alone, the parents called my uncle and told them it wasn't going to work out.
one guy's mom was adamant about certain things they required in terms of dowry, they were a bit more wealthy and their demands kept getting higher and higher as the wedding date was approaching closer.. One of them was also that she wasn't allowed to work as he made enough to support both of them comfortably. My aunty and uncle were still willing to go through it all for my cousin's happiness but she rejected the rishta when she found out.
I've heard about the lying in terms of educational background as well and even job titles, etc. but nowadays with social media it's so easy to find all that info out, I don't really understand why people would lie. Always boggles my mind...
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
I've heard about the lying in terms of educational background as well and even job titles, etc. but nowadays with social media it's so easy to find all that info out, I don't really understand why people would lie. Always boggles my mind...
How? Not everyone has their profile for public viewing or am I missing something?
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
I'm not an aunty with grown kids but I do remember some horrible experiences in my extended family... both cousins (girls) are happily married now.
Some of the horrible experiences that my aunty and uncle mentioned included:
parents going through with the process without the consent of the guy, who had a gf they just didn't know about, when it came time for the girl and guy to exchange contact info and speak alone, the parents called my uncle and told them it wasn't going to work out.
one guy's mom was adamant about certain things they required in terms of dowry, they were a bit more wealthy and their demands kept getting higher and higher as the wedding date was approaching closer.. One of them was also that she wasn't allowed to work as he made enough to support both of them comfortably. My aunty and uncle were still willing to go through it all for my cousin's happiness but she rejected the rishta when she found out.
I've heard about the lying in terms of educational background as well and even job titles, etc. but nowadays with social media it's so easy to find all that info out, I don't really understand why people would lie. Always boggles my mind...
I'm not married yet myself, but watching aunties/uncles I know go through it with their kids (our parents are close friends and my parents are pretty open with me about stuff like that). The lying about education seems to be a biggie. Someone told my parents to find a rishta for their daughter who was a degree holder...well...we did...but then we found out that the girl was actually just working at a department store and never finished college. My parents were shocked.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
How? Not everyone has their profile for public viewing or am I missing something?
If they don't, then that is a red flag.
No its not a red flag. People don't want to share their info with strangers so they make their profiles private. That does not mean necessarily that they are hiding something. If things on the rishta front go well then there is no harm to befriend them on social media and see their profile history, work, education etc.
@OP
Yes people lie about education (esp. the girls' side) and for guys its mostly about their work/income.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
because he can't believe he is of marriageable age! :D
I'm a girl, as much as I wish I was I guy, I am not. And I find it amusing because I'm excited and scared at the same time, I can barely take care of myself, and so the amusement covers up most of it hahaha.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
How? Not everyone has their profile for public viewing or am I missing something?
A lot of professionals nowadays have LinkedIn here so it's quite easy to see their resume and education on there.
Also - if you say you have graduated from a certain grad school - they also post their graduates names online now.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
I'm not married yet myself, but watching aunties/uncles I know go through it with their kids (our parents are close friends and my parents are pretty open with me about stuff like that). The lying about education seems to be a biggie. Someone told my parents to find a rishta for their daughter who was a degree holder...well...we did...but then we found out that the girl was actually just working at a department store and never finished college. My parents were shocked.
Yeah I know what you mean... I mean why lie honestly :S
And with so many universities now, you can easily catch the lie, they always post the names of their graduates in their newsletters and websites.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
I actually know someone who went through the rishta aunty network and found out after marriage that his wife could not even read or write her name. Her parents had told him that she had a bachelor's degree. But in reality, she had never been to school. She had been raised very conservative and her parents were against education for girls but lied about it to get her married.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
I actually know someone who went through the rishta aunty network and found out after marriage that his wife could not even read or write her name. Her parents had told him that she had a bachelor's degree. But in reality, she had never been to school. She had been raised very conservative and her parents were against education for girls but lied about it to get her married.
