If so, please do share stories, anecdotes and frustrations.
Here in Relationships you always hear people griping about the rishta process, the parents in between causing difficulties, the expectations and ofcourse the meddling aunties.
Well, letās hear your side of the story.
I asked an older work colleague of mine a long time ago this question. I wasnāt exactly best buddies with him so didnāt want to prod too much. He had a son and a daughter, and he said that everyone lies a lot. People would claim to have Masters degrees, but in reality they were still working on a bachelors degree. People would lie about property, when they were just renting.
I found one thing rather odd. He was an Indian Muslim, and he said that it was rather difficult to look for another Indian Muslim through the proper rishta process. He said it was easier for Pakistanis. Maybe just his experience because there are so many Indians here in the US, so I found that odd
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
Iām not an aunty with grown kids but I do remember some horrible experiences in my extended familyā¦ both cousins (girls) are happily married now.
Some of the horrible experiences that my aunty and uncle mentioned included:
parents going through with the process without the consent of the guy, who had a gf they just didnāt know about, when it came time for the girl and guy to exchange contact info and speak alone, the parents called my uncle and told them it wasnāt going to work out.
one guyās mom was adamant about certain things they required in terms of dowry, they were a bit more wealthy and their demands kept getting higher and higher as the wedding date was approaching closer.. One of them was also that she wasnāt allowed to work as he made enough to support both of them comfortably. My aunty and uncle were still willing to go through it all for my cousinās happiness but she rejected the rishta when she found out.
Iāve heard about the lying in terms of educational background as well and even job titles, etc. but nowadays with social media itās so easy to find all that info out, I donāt really understand why people would lie. Always boggles my mindā¦
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
Iām not married yet myself, but watching aunties/uncles I know go through it with their kids (our parents are close friends and my parents are pretty open with me about stuff like that). The lying about education seems to be a biggie. Someone told my parents to find a rishta for their daughter who was a degree holderā¦wellā¦we didā¦but then we found out that the girl was actually just working at a department store and never finished college. My parents were shocked.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
No its not a red flag. People donāt want to share their info with strangers so they make their profiles private. That does not mean necessarily that they are hiding something. If things on the rishta front go well then there is no harm to befriend them on social media and see their profile history, work, education etc.
@OP
Yes people lie about education (esp. the girlsā side) and for guys its mostly about their work/income.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
Iām a girl, as much as I wish I was I guy, I am not. And I find it amusing because Iām excited and scared at the same time, I can barely take care of myself, and so the amusement covers up most of it hahaha.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
A lot of professionals nowadays have LinkedIn here so itās quite easy to see their resume and education on there.
Also - if you say you have graduated from a certain grad school - they also post their graduates names online now.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
Yeah I know what you meanā¦ I mean why lie honestly :S
And with so many universities now, you can easily catch the lie, they always post the names of their graduates in their newsletters and websites.
Re: Anyone here old enough to have gone through the rishta process for their own kids
I actually know someone who went through the rishta aunty network and found out after marriage that his wife could not even read or write her name. Her parents had told him that she had a bachelorās degree. But in reality, she had never been to school. She had been raised very conservative and her parents were against education for girls but lied about it to get her married.
