Any married couple here childfree by choice and happy with their decision? I know a couple who married and decided not to have kids and they claim to be happy with their decision.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Not to have kids EVER?!
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
In OUR culture? By choice? Impossible! Unless of course both got hitched at a relatively advanced age.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
I personally am not able to fathom why someone would take such a decision. I don't know any Pakistani couple who's decided on that.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Islamically it would be wrong too...
not to have children for a woman it's a tough call...
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Any married couple here childfree by choice and happy with their decision? I know a couple who married and decided not to have kids and they claim to be happy with their decision.
There was a time I was considering that. But I am coming around to the idea of having kids, now. So, to answer your question, no.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
why would someone want to not have kids?
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
why would someone want to not have kids?
Some reasons I've heard from such couples...
1) Raising children is a huge responsibility and they're not willing or unselfish enough to make good parents.
2) **They'd rather enjoy their lives and each other without having to worry about any mouths to feed. It's very expensive to raise children.
**3) The world already has such a large population. It's selfish to bring another person into this world.
4) This world is too cruel/violent/dark so why should we give birth to a child that will have to live in this terrible world?
5) Children are annoying. They're messy, whiny and throw tantrums. When they grow up they will be ungrateful to you for all you did for them.
6) Why should we have children? How will it improve our lives?
7) Birth is too painful of an experience
8) A child will cause an adverse effect on the marriage and physical relationship between spouses.
9) Having children is conformist.
10) Pregnancy ruins the mother's figure.
11) Parents might pass on genetic disorders to their child
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Some reasons I've heard from such couples...
3) The world already has such a large population. 3b) It's selfish to bring another person into this world.
3b) It is selfish because the child has no intention of its own. I do it for my own selfish desires to be a mother or whatever else.
Those were my reasons.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
I want kids but if someone doesn't, that's their choice. Why should anyone "force" their own choice or insecurities on others?
At least it's better to make an educated decision than to have accidents and not consider the consequences.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
A colleage (Muslim) had once told me that she initially didn't want to have kids because she thought it was selfish to bring them into a cruel world. I can understand that perspective as I've felt that way at times. I have a cousin whose husband is very turned off by belly flab in women and she had become self-conscious about her figure...to the point of contemplating not having kids as it would ruin her figure and earn his disapproval......I can understand this common concern of women as welll, but I thought it was a bit much. There's a Pakistani actress, Marina Khan, who chose not to have kids. There are people in this world who DO have kids and are incompetent parents.
There are days when I think I'd like to have children of my own. There are also days....when after a long day of teaching....I feel grateful that I don't have to see kids at home.
I agree with Sara.....to each his own. Choosing to have children does not make that person better or superior to someone who chooses not to have kids. It doesn't necessarily mean that the latter is less compassionate or kind or patient. And the bringing forth of a new life into this world is ultimately in Allah's hands...and that can transcend one's own personal wishes.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Some reasons I've heard from such couples...
1) Raising children is a huge responsibility and they're not willing or unselfish enough to make good parents. 2) **They'd rather enjoy their lives and each other without having to worry about any mouths to feed. It's very expensive to raise children. **3) The world already has such a large population. It's selfish to bring another person into this world. 4) This world is too cruel/violent/dark so why should we give birth to a child that will have to live in this terrible world? 5) Children are annoying. They're messy, whiny and throw tantrums. When they grow up they will be ungrateful to you for all you did for them. 6) Why should we have children? How will it improve our lives? 7) Birth is too painful of an experience 8) A child will cause an adverse effect on the marriage and physical relationship between spouses. 9) Having children is conformist. 10) Pregnancy ruins the mother's figure. 11) Parents might pass on genetic disorders to their child
Reason 4: fair enough!crosses my mind sometimes, when i c kids/young adults around in trouble.. theyre so influencable (if thats a word)
Reason 7: poeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!when i think of that, i cant do it!
But no i have not decided not to have kids..
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Some reasons I've heard from such couples...
1) Raising children is a huge responsibility and they're not willing or unselfish enough to make good parents. 2) **They'd rather enjoy their lives and each other without having to worry about any mouths to feed. It's very expensive to raise children. **3) The world already has such a large population. It's selfish to bring another person into this world. 4) This world is too cruel/violent/dark so why should we give birth to a child that will have to live in this terrible world? 5) Children are annoying. They're messy, whiny and throw tantrums. When they grow up they will be ungrateful to you for all you did for them. 6) Why should we have children? How will it improve our lives? 7) Birth is too painful of an experience 8) A child will cause an adverse effect on the marriage and physical relationship between spouses. 9) Having children is conformist. 10) Pregnancy ruins the mother's figure. 11) Parents might pass on genetic disorders to their child
It's all worth it.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
I can't imagine my life without kids and like jafri says, its all worth it. I have had 4 painful births, had to use crutches cos I wasn't able to take the pain in my pelvis and have lost 2 teeth due to excessive breastfeeding. I would do it all again in an instance. I don't care about my figure, it's not like Im going to wear a bikini or imodest clothes.
But yes, like zara says, each to their own. I just think also that under Islamic law, it's not permissible as there is a hadith that says '...a house without children is a house unblessed ' Children are a great source of joy.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
I'm not even gonna consider marriage unless the girl accepts to have no kids. But that seems to be the reason why most people get married, which is why I'm not big on marriage in the first place.
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
I'm not even gonna consider marriage unless the girl accepts to have no kids. But that seems to be the reason why most people get married, which is why I'm not big on marriage in the first place.
I don't see anything wrong in this, but what exactly made you come to this decision?
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Terrible, dark world? :S Wow, that's kinda sad.. It's the only place we've all ever known, and any source of happiness and beauty comes from this world. Being happy is really up to you, and saying that the world is too gloomy of a place isn't for you to decide. Having children is natural, if it happens, it happens. You don't know what having a child is like until you have one! Forcefully making sure that you don't have a child is strange to me :S However, it's none of my business. To each it's own :)
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
Sandals, I would like to know why as well. Not to attack you, but I'm genuinely interested in why you're so adamant upon having no kids at all?
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
I m married and we've decided to not have children ... My reason is that my mom died when i was in my late teens n had three young siblings .... we had some really bad time without her n still i m not over her death n unable to feel happy or sad or any other emotion so i fear that if something happens to one of us our kids have to go though all that ...this world n specially pakistan is not a place to live its horrible... my husband just want me to be happy n agrees with it .... i dont know about the future as its only 2nd yr of my marriage but till now we dont wanna have kids....
Re: Anyone here decide NOT to have children after marriage?
why is it wrong to NOT have kids islamically???