Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
Go to the wedding forum : u'll c plenty of girls who don't want to wear a red bridal :p
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
I don't see the big deal here?
I know plenty of girls who are not into the 300+ guest list and don't want a huge extravagant wedding.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
I don't see the big deal here?
I know plenty of girls who are not into the 300+ guest list and don't want a huge extravagant wedding.
Oh really? Where?
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
^ the wedding forum is proof of what I & Reha said.There r even threads of some girls having huge arguments with their parents cuz they don’t want a huge crowd of ppl they don’t know at their wedding.
Tch tch guys will never listen.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
Who gets their way, parents or the daughters?
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
One of my closest friends is getting married in August. She is having her nikah after Isha prayer at the masjid. No food. No drink. Nikah, pictures and chuwaray. That’s it. She is dead set against having a huge affair…I am trying to throw her a bridal shower and I can’t. She made me swear I won’t.
They are girls like that.
^ Eggjackly
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
One of my closest friends is getting married in August. She is having her nikah after Isha prayer at the masjid. No food. No drink. Nikah, pictures and chuwaray. That's it. She is dead set against having a huge affair...I am trying to throw her a bridal shower and I can't. She made me swear I won't.
They are girls like that.
^ Eggjackly
Good work, hence me saying I wonder how long it will take me to find someone like that, I bet there is 10 girls that want hungama to every one that doesnt.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
Good work, hence me saying I wonder how long it will take me to find someone like that, I bet there is 10 girls that want hungama to every one that doesnt.
Yup, good luck with that. And don't forget you may have to try very hard in persuading your in-laws-to-be, even if the girl agrees to your wedding plans.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
How is that kanjoozi? I barely know 50 people, where am I supposed to magic up a remaining 250 people to stop me being a kanjooz?
This is why I hate desi weddings. I can't be seen to be a kanjoos so I need to find 250 people to stop people thinking I'm a kanjoos. What a farce.
Where did you get this 300 guests from? Who told you that having 300 guests is a "must"? Besides....you're a guy right? So if anyone gets accused of being "kanzoozi" for having a simple/small wedding....isn't it usually the girl's parents? OR are you planning on insisting that you pay for the entire wedding out of your own personal money?
Also, I understand and accept that you barely know 50 people who you'd invite to the wedding. But what about the girl you're marrying? Does she not get to invite anyone she knows? What about your parents? What about HER parents (especially since most desi weddings are paid for by the bride's parents)? The ONLY one who gets to invite guests is you?
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
Where did you get this 300 guests from? Who told you that having 300 guests is a "must"? Besides....you're a guy right? So if anyone gets accused of being "kanzoozi" for having a simple/small wedding....isn't it usually the girl's parents? OR are you planning on insisting that you pay for the entire wedding out of your own personal money?
Also, I understand and accept that you barely know 50 people who you'd invite to the wedding. But what about the girl you're marrying? Does she not get to invite anyone she knows? What about your parents? What about HER parents (especially since most desi weddings are paid for by the bride's parents)? The ONLY one who gets to invite guests is you?
You prove my point exactly, this kind of stuff is exactly what I don't need, the long chain of people that invite everyone to a wedding with each having their input on what rasms and other addons there should be. All it needs to be is a nikkah and dinner.
One memorable wedding in my mind is the one of the local molvi where I used to live, the reception was literally a dinner, people came, ate dinner and left. No shor, no hungama, just like it should be. Plenty of people were invited to that too.
Oh, and NO silly costume for the groom, not sure about the bride as it was segragated.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
- Prime Minister Pakistan son weds
**2. Iranian President’s son weds
**
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
You prove my point exactly, this kind of stuff is exactly what I don't need, the long chain of people that invite everyone to a wedding with each having their input on what rasms and other addons there should be. All it needs to be is a nikkah and dinner.
One memorable wedding in my mind is the one of the local molvi where I used to live, the reception was literally a dinner, people came, ate dinner and left. No shor, no hungama, just like it should be. Plenty of people were invited to that too.
Oh, and NO silly costume for the groom, not sure about the bride as it was segragated.
LOL. You did not answer one single one of my questions. I never said anything about rasams or costumes or any hungama for anyone. My questions was very specific in regards to the guest count.
To be honest....with your attitude....especially if you view your own parents, your future wife and her parents only as "long chain of people" whose wishes/opinions you don't care about at all and have no intention of fulfilling.....if your view of a wedding is to do what YOU want to do and completely ignore wants/wishes of parents/future wife.....then it will be very difficult. Its one thing for you to completely ignore your own parents wishes.....but to find a girl who will go against her parents and ignore all of their wishes.....yea...good luck with that.
** Note: You have not mentioned anything about how your parents view weddings and whether or not their views are the same as yours. So I'm assuming that they also have certain "desi" things they want to see at their son's wedding. If I'm wrong in my assumption, please feel free to correct me.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
LOL. You did not answer one single one of my questions. I never said anything about rasams or costumes or any hungama for anyone. My questions was very specific in regards to the guest count.
To be honest....with your attitude....especially if you view your own parents, your future wife and her parents only as "long chain of people" whose wishes/opinions you don't care about at all and have no intention of fulfilling.....if your view of a wedding is to do what YOU want to do and completely ignore wants/wishes of parents/future wife.....then it will be very difficult. Its one thing for you to completely ignore your own parents wishes.....but to find a girl who will go against her parents and ignore all of their wishes.....yea...good luck with that.
** Note: You have not mentioned anything about how your parents view weddings and whether or not their views are the same as yours. So I'm assuming that they also have certain "desi" things they want to see at their son's wedding. If I'm wrong in my assumption, please feel free to correct me.
TBH I have been married once already, had the wedding of a 1000+ guest count, had a-z rasms, kept quiet throughout it all. Put it this way, my inlaws pressured my family to bring AS MANY people as we could to ensure their status in society was upheld (they turned out to be mentals)
Anyway, I guess the easiest will be to find someone whose wishes match your own, someone who also doesn't want to invite hundreds of people to the wedding surely?
I think my parents (dad) in this case isn't bothered, he got all his rasms out last time, so he won't be fussed again.
Also when did weddings stop being the bride and grooms special day where they get to pick how it should be played out.
Also, when did it all become about guest count anyway? Only khan mentioned that decreasing the number of people from 300 to 50 is Kanjoosi, why is it kanjoosi to only want to invite 50 guests?
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
omg. newsflash: not everyone dates with the intent of marriage. the concept varies from culture to culture.
for some people it is ok to start a relationship without marriage ever crossing their mind.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
Anyway, I guess the easiest will be to find someone whose wishes match your own, someone who also doesn't want to invite hundreds of people to the wedding surely?
I think my parents (dad) in this case isn't bothered, he got all his rasms out last time, so he won't be fussed again.
Also when did weddings stop being the bride and grooms special day where they get to pick how it should be played out.
1) The "easiest" way is to find someone who feels the same way as you do, and whose parents also feel the same way as you do. Otherwise find someone who is willing to go against her parents. Actually, just look for an orphan who wasn't raised by any family at all....as cruel as this sounds...this would be the most "easiest".
2) You "think"? It's your own dad. You need to have a open/direct conversation with him and be 100% sure that your dad feels the same way. I'm assuming your mom is not in the picture since you did not mention her.
3) The idea that weddings are for the bride and groom only and they get to do only what they want....that is a western concept. For desis.....weddings have ALWAYS been about family/community.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
1) The "easiest" way is to find someone who feels the same way as you do, and whose parents also feel the same way as you do. Otherwise find someone who is willing to go against her parents. Actually, just look for an orphan who wasn't raised by any family at all....as cruel as this sounds...this would be the most "easiest".
2) You "think"? It's your own dad. You need to have a open/direct conversation with him and be 100% sure that your dad feels the same way. I'm assuming your mom is not in the picture since you did not mention her.
3) The idea that weddings are for the bride and groom only and they get to do only what they want....that is a western concept. For desis.....weddings have ALWAYS been about family/community.
1) Or someone that's also been married before and appreciates that hungama doesn't actually get you anywhere.
Oh well, shame desi people are so concerned about the community, it really is an alien concept to me, you don't get many desis doing what they want and not giving a toss what other people think, something Brits seem to excel at, producing eccentrics.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
now it all makes sense
also i called it kanjoosi, if you cant digest it, ignore it simple
Also, when did it all become about guest count anyway? Only khan mentioned that decreasing the number of people from 300 to 50 is Kanjoosi, why is it kanjoosi to only want to invite 50 guests?
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
now it all makes sense
also i called it kanjoosi, if you cant digest it, ignore it simple
Location
lhr
Nuff said.
Not wanting to invite hundreds of people, because you don't like large crowds = kanjoosi = LOL.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
Looking to get married, but inevitably there will be a wedding involved at some point, the mere notion of having a desi wedding with your spouse wearing a red dress, you in a suit/sherwani and all the "hungama" that goes along with a wedding just makes me feel naseous,
I would rather jump off a cliff than have a big desi wedding, I wonder how long it will take me to find someone/family that doesn't want a massive hungama wedding and just wants a civilised nikkah with no shor sharaba.
Ours was relatively simple. We pulled off everything with 1/10 of what I've heard some people pay to have their weddings. The biggest expense by far was the food.
One memorable wedding in my mind is the one of the local molvi where I used to live, the reception was literally a dinner, people came, ate dinner and left. No shor, no hungama, just like it should be. Plenty of people were invited to that too.
Oh, and NO silly costume for the groom, not sure about the bride as it was segragated.
That's pretty much what we did.
Re: Anyone Else unable to entertain the notion of a desi wedding?
^^ same here. No mehndi or other big functions. Jst rukhsati and walima and there were close family and friends. It was mutually agreed as I didn't want to burden my dad with a huge bill and my DH was footing the bill on his side so was happy about it. Weddings are such an expense. Talk to your parents politely about it and they will probably agree.