Any solution to this common poblem?

[tammy8604]

@Maham S

I never said everything about our culture is right but atleast i happen to think the family system is great and its not only cultural but has great value in our religion too.

However i understand everybody wants to have independence in life, the rite to make their choices and all…I believe if you make an effort and build a strong relationship with your inlaws in the begining you will automatically be given all these rights. Nobody would want to burden their self making your decisions or selecting your curtains for you. I believe all these issues rise when the sense of competition comes in these relationships…like the sass thinking how dare she think she can make my son do all that when i who is his mother would never think of him doing that or the bahu thinking how dare my husband still listen and do as his parents advise him 2 do so why cant he be a man enuff to make his own call, blah blah. But if you guys understand each other and respect then i dont think such negative thoughts would occure. Both would be happy in their places.

Anyway, maybe this is just my wishful thinking but i would give it a chance and do my 101% to make it the reality

Our family system actually sucks. Why do you hear about so many saas-bahu-nand-devrani-jheetani fights? look around you, you’ll see it for yourself. This is a sign that this joint family system DOESN’T work. Why should anyone have to built a strong relationship with inlaws as you just mentioned? Am I marrying my inlaws? The only person i need to build a strong relationship is with my husband, not his family. And sense of competition is natural when you have so many people living in the same house. If everyone is living seperatly in their own homes, there will be no cold war.