So our culture can't be wrong? There was a time when slavery was acceptable in many cultures that doesnt mean we need to stick to it. Racism was a norm too back in the day but now its considered unacceptable. We need to move ahead in a positive direction, not stuck in a hell hole of inlaws and crazy idea of everyone living "happily" together which almost never happens in real life for the vast majority of joint families. Theres a reason why we keep hearing of saas-bahu or devrani-jhetani- nand fights all the time. It ticks me off only because when im marrying someone, i want to have my independ life with that person where i can make my own decision whether its somethign as minor as the curtain selection or decisions regardin my children. I don't have a "right" over my kids decision once they are mature enough to have thier own jobs, live on their own and get married. ONce you get married, its you and your spouse who should be running thier households.
I never said everything about our culture is right but atleast i happen to think the family system is great and its not only cultural but has great value in our religion too.
However i understand everybody wants to have independence in life, the rite to make their choices and all...I believe if you make an effort and build a strong relationship with your inlaws in the begining you will automatically be given all these rights. Nobody would want to burden their self making your decisions or selecting your curtains for you. I believe all these issues rise when the sense of competition comes in these relationships...like the sass thinking how dare she think she can make my son do all that when i who is his mother would never think of him doing that or the bahu thinking how dare my husband still listen and do as his parents advise him 2 do so why cant he be a man enuff to make his own call, blah blah. But if you guys understand each other and respect then i dont think such negative thoughts would occure. Both would be happy in their places.
Anyway, maybe this is just my wishful thinking but i would give it a chance and do my 101% to make it the reality :)