If the pool of Pakistani men is so small why not jump into another pool? :D
In difficult circumstances we need to adapt or we'll just die slow lonely deaths lol.. No Pakistanis? Why not try Indian Muslims or Arabs or some other race? If parents are rigid try and make them understand they're being unreasonable.. There are PLENTY of great Muslim guys out there.. All these little boxes which need to be ticked are the problem..
Lol yeah, I could try for an indian Muslim man. Or maybe Im one of those who'll die a slow lonely death lol.
If the pool of Pakistani men is so small why not jump into another pool? :D
In difficult circumstances we need to adapt or we'll just die slow lonely deaths lol.. No Pakistanis? Why not try Indian Muslims or Arabs or some other race? If parents are rigid try and make them understand they're being unreasonable.. There are PLENTY of great Muslim guys out there.. All these little boxes which need to be ticked are the problem..
i have been wondering that too. there are so many non-pakistani muslim men in US. my sister is engaged to a turkish guy. if there is a shortage of decent pakistani guys, then why not look at other muslim guys? plenty of arabs, afghans, persians in US. thats one big advantage of living in US vs living in pakistan. we have alot more variety of men to choose from.
i have been wondering that too. there are so many non-pakistani muslim men in US. my sister is engaged to a turkish guy. if there is a shortage of decent pakistani guys, then why not look at other muslim guys? plenty of arabs, afghans, persians in US. thats one big advantage of living in US vs living in pakistan. we have alot more variety of men to choose from.
I'm not so sure there is a shortage though. I think it is women's expectations that are the problem. I've read women's comments on here complaining about the supposed numerous defects of Pakistani men and how there aren't any "good ones." In real life, I've observed that is not the case and that there are loads of good guys out there. There is quite a large Pakistani community in the UK and I've met quite a few guys (ie. friends, classmates, colleagues, etc.) who are none of the things women complain about and are quite nice, so not sure where the shortage bit comes in.
If the pool of Pakistani men is so small why not jump into another pool? :D
In difficult circumstances we need to adapt or we'll just die slow lonely deaths lol.. No Pakistanis? Why not try Indian Muslims or Arabs or some other race? If parents are rigid try and make them understand they're being unreasonable.. There are PLENTY of great Muslim guys out there.. All these little boxes which need to be ticked are the problem..
i have been wondering that too. there are so many non-pakistani muslim men in US. my sister is engaged to a turkish guy. if there is a shortage of decent pakistani guys, then why not look at other muslim guys? plenty of arabs, afghans, persians in US. thats one big advantage of living in US vs living in pakistan. we have alot more variety of men to choose from.
Some women just aren't attracted to arabs or blacks.
Lol yeah, I could try for an indian Muslim man. Or maybe Im one of those who'll die a slow lonely death lol.
Why not? If you're looking for someone with similar culture and values with desi looks it can work. I know online sites are maybe not so reliable but you can look for Pakistanis and even Indians on shaadi.com or pakistani matrimonials . If ure ok with the vast pool of desis living in west then there will be many options
You can even put an ad up for free.
OP, i've seen your ad in the rishta thread. if your parents are so strict and so old fashioned then how are you gonna go about it? do they know that you have put an ad at GS? how are you gonna break the news and/or convince your parents if you do find a rishta here on GS? what's your game plan?
Sorry missed some of the replies.
Well if he's educated, can earn money, feeds his family and most importantly is a Muslim, then why not? I would have to argue/debate with my parents about it. Obviously if it wsnt someone Muslim then there is no way I can tell them. Even if hes a convert, id hesitate telling them. Now im 26 and haven't had anyone and I always get these anxiety sorts of attacks where I just want a companion tbh. I am kind of fed up living like this. Then I also have too much time on my hands and that doesn't help. If they want me to slowly die due to loneliness, then ill tell them that too. In fact, I have been isolated since I graduated high school. And I still dont get why they dont understand I need that someone special. Allah SWT hasnt allowed any such relationships before marriage and so basically I am dying internally everyday. Just last year or a bit before, I had a rishta and I really wanted him because he spoke all religious and such. But then i wanst like dying either for him. And then I kind of got emotional (considering I am a very emotional person) when mom rejected him and then she goes on telling my sis that I am in a hurry to get married. And I found that very insulting towards me. I mean im an emo girl and I got a heart too. This is why I dont tell them that I wanna get married because they take it the wrong way. Honest, I feel they have made me weak as they brought me up. The constant nagging and putting down hasnt helped me in life. I mean I want them to be my friends so if I do end up liking someone, then I can easily tell them.
Dont take what I said in the wrong way, I love and respect my parents. But I am not a kid any more. Even Hazrat Ali RA said to not raise your children in the same way as u were raised because they're born at a different time. My parents are very old fashioned, probably way more than me. I just want someone who is following Islam and not strictly the culture as I see a lot of contradiction in the culture and that they are not following what Islam is stating.
Why not? If you're looking for someone with similar culture and values with desi looks it can work. I know online sites are maybe not so reliable but you can look for Pakistanis and even Indians on shaadi.com or pakistani matrimonials . If ure ok with the vast pool of desis living in west then there will be many options
You can even put an ad up for free.
Lol nah, ive had it with shaadi.com too many emotional guys there lol. I mean the last thing I need is an emo guy. I mean its ok if guys get emo, but id like myself a strong guy because i myself am already pretty emotional person.
Honestly, I think I can even survive my whole life without having someone. As , as much as I want to get married im scared of marriage too. If im busy enough with my life I probably wouldn't feel lonely depressed. I need to find a second job maybe.
But then again, marriage is 1/2 Imaan.
Lol nah, ive had it with shaadi.com too many emotional guys there lol. I mean the last thing I need is an emo guy. I mean its ok if guys get emo, but id like myself a strong guy because i myself am already pretty emotional person.
Honestly, I think I can even survive my whole life without having someone. As , as much as I want to get married im scared of marriage too. If im busy enough with my life I probably wouldn't feel lonely depressed. I need to find a second job maybe.
But then again, marriage is 1/2 Imaan.
Oh ok no worries plenty of other avenues and places to find someone. Opposites attract so it's good to find someone who is personality wise slightly different . I think a second job or doing some volunteer work would be helpful in distraction.
You choose to live in a country where the muslim population is less than 2% of the total and the Pakistani origin is even less then you complain you can't find a mate? The odds are stacked against you beta. I was living in New Jersey, had graduated from University and had not found any person who matched my values despite having searche for 2 years. What did I do? I packed my bags and shifted to another country with a 90% muslim population and evenuall found my soulmate. But you and majority of the people in your situation wont thnk out of the box like this because you are mental slaves of the west. Your world begins and ends in North America.
Oh ok no worries plenty of other avenues and places to find someone. Opposites attract so it's good to find someone who is personality wise slightly different . I think a second job or doing some volunteer work would be helpful in distraction.
In Sha Allah, let's hope so. Thanks so much. Ur so kind. God bless.
You choose to live in a country where the muslim population is less than 2% of the total and the Pakistani origin is even less then you complain you can't find a mate? The odds are stacked against you beta. I was living in New Jersey, had graduated from University and had not found any person who matched my values despite having searche for 2 years. What did I do? I packed my bags and shifted to another country with a 90% muslim population and evenuall found my soulmate. But you and majority of the people in your situation wont thnk out of the box like this because you are mental slaves of the west. Your world begins and ends in North America.
Lol where did u move to?
I can't leave my family.
There are some Muslims around, but they're either too strict or way too westernized. No balance yo.
You choose to live in a country where the muslim population is less than 2% of the total and the Pakistani origin is even less then you complain you can't find a mate? The odds are stacked against you beta. I was living in New Jersey, had graduated from University and had not found any person who matched my values despite having searche for 2 years. What did I do? I packed my bags and shifted to another country with a 90% muslim population and evenuall found my soulmate. But you and majority of the people in your situation wont thnk out of the box like this because you are mental slaves of the west. Your world begins and ends in North America.
Race is not mentioned for all we know the guy could be Pakistani Christian who was less westernised and more connected to his roots than those around him. Main thing is OP is thinking of finding someone new. Even if there is low population of muslims one can always bring someone from abroad or introduce them to the religion/culture.
If people didn't hang into culture limitations things might even work out.
More opportunities for dawa in west than east.
Exactly! Imagine how many good deeds u'll get if u successfully converted someone into Islam.
only if the conversion is for real and not for shaadii only. some, yes, i repeat some just say shahada to shut up girl's parents because it's their pre-requisite.
only if the conversion is for real and not for shaadii only. some, yes, i repeat some just say shahada to shut up girl's parents because it's their pre-requisite.
I just find it hard to believe/accept that parents living in the west would still try to shelter their daughters from the world by never letting them go out. I have a few friends in that boat as well and they're having MAJOR issues getting married because they don't know how to interact with the opposite gender, don't have the means to meet eligible guys. Could it be that your parents AREN'T in the mindset where they think it's time for you to find someone? The only other option would be that your friends have friends that are looking; I know plenty of marriages that have come out of that. But again, if your parents won't let you leave the house , I'm assuming you have very few friends, in which case this option wouldn't work.
I just find it hard to believe/accept that parents living in the west would still try to shelter their daughters from the world by never letting them go out. I have a few friends in that boat as well and they're having MAJOR issues getting married because they don't know how to interact with the opposite gender, don't have the means to meet eligible guys. Could it be that your parents AREN'T in the mindset where they think it's time for you to find someone? The only other option would be that your friends have friends that are looking; I know plenty of marriages that have come out of that. But again, if your parents won't let you leave the house , I'm assuming you have very few friends, in which case this option wouldn't work.
Good suggestion. But yes, they're still very old fashioned even though I grew up here and even though I still try to live by the rules of my religion, they still won't let me out that much.