Re: any Muslim singles
Basically ur telling me to go against them?
If you don't want to go against them then why don't you sit in the house and do what they are saying. If you are already doing that then what's the issue?
Re: any Muslim singles
You're the only one that can answer that question. You're not happy with the rules that your parents have set for you. You're not happy that they keep rejecting rishtas for you. You want to be happy, it's your right to be happy. Like I said, I am not condoning running away and getting married. Like Deeba said, if you don't do anything nothing will change. But parents do eventually come around. You need to be intelligent enough to know what is best for you, and the family will come around. Knowing fully well that falling in love with someone from another religion will never work for where you come from isn't an intelligent step, and isn't the way to escape from your situation.
Wowwwww just wow. You're so judgemental.
So according to you, those who fall in love with someone from a different religion, are all stupid?
Did I purposely fall in love with him? No.
You wouldn't know it anyway.
So what exactly am I supposed to do to find someone to marry? Go clubbing? Or just stand on the corner of the street and yell that I have no friends and im single and I badly need someone's company? Should I have a poster saying will you marry me and dance around the corner street?
@anya
They don't have any problems about me working, which I am doing. They have a problem about me going out for other than work, and thats the only way I can find someone. No one is gonna appear at my home asking my parents for my rishta.
And do u actually want me to sit in my room think of that guy, have nothing else to do and suffocate?
Re: any Muslim singles
^Can you not reconnect with your friends? Or go out with any girls or cousins that your family are ok with?
Maybe tell your parents you're working then just socialise more? I know it's not exactly great to lie but if you aren't allowed to socialise and are basically only allowed to go to work how are you going to ever meet someone?? It's a ridiculous situation.. Go ahead and do it or just tell your parents you're an adult and you NEED to go out so that's the end of it..
(I've only suggested you lie because I get the feeling you don't want any sort of confrontation)..
Re: any Muslim singles
Wowwwww just wow. You're so judgemental. So according to you, those who fall in love with someone from a different religion, are all stupid? Did I purposely fall in love with him? No. You wouldn't know it anyway. So what exactly am I supposed to do to find someone to marry? Go clubbing? Or just stand on the corner of the street and yell that I have no friends and im single and I badly need someone's company? Should I have a poster saying will you marry me and dance around the corner street?
With all due respect, you're being quite obtuse. Several posters have already suggested ways to socialise that are still appropriate and would help build you connections in the community and potentially help you find someone. They've suggested getting involved in community events, doing charity or volunteer work, or events at your local mosque. I'm not sure why you would assume that they're suggesting that you go clubbing or dance in the street.
Re: any Muslim singles
Just thinking if one is to be at home and going outside without some confrontation is not an option, what else can be done? We've got some good outside activity options.
At home u can distract yourself with movies, tv shows, GS cafe
Read a book or learn a new language or learn a new skill on youtube. I learnt to play a bit of the dhol on yt.
You can shop on eBay or buy books on amazon
There are computer games or video games one can play. There are even heartbreak games one can play
Re: any Muslim singles
With all due respect, you're being quite obtuse. Several posters have already suggested ways to socialise that are still appropriate and would help build you connections in the community and potentially help you find someone. They've suggested getting involved in community events, doing charity or volunteer work, or events at your local mosque. I'm not sure why you would assume that they're suggesting that you go clubbing or dance in the street.
My family doesnt get involved nor would they want me involved with the community. My brothers are part of an Islamic group here, so if they see me outside in the community, it probably won't be that great.
@deeba1234 I don't have any cousins living here. Yeh I could do that, but then even then I don't know where to socialize where they can't see me. Im not the type of person to lie to them, but I seriously feel suffocated. My heart hasnt been at peace for like so many years now. I dont mind telling them I am working and then go somewhere but I really don't know where to go where my family members can't see me.
Re: any Muslim singles
I don't know that much myself and I wouldn't want to give wrong advice. I've heard this helps. But does anyone know any good duas for heartbreak which can help OP?
Re: any Muslim singles
My family doesnt get involved nor would they want me involved with the community. My brothers are part of an Islamic group here, so if they see me outside in the community, it probably won't be that great. .
Have you ever actually brought up this possibility of doing charity work or helping out with events are your local mosque? Not considered bringing it up, but actually spoken to your parents about it?
I apologise if I'm making assumptions, but you keep saying "would not" ("my parents would not..."), so I'm under the impression that you have not actually suggested any of these possibilities to your parents but simply believe that they wouldn't approve. I would suggest you talk to your parents about the possibilities people have suggested on here. Sometimes parents react differently than how we may think.
Re: any Muslim singles
Just thinking if one is to be at home and going outside without some confrontation is not an option, what else can be done? We've got some good outside activity options.
At home u can distract yourself with movies, tv shows, GS cafe Read a book or learn a new language or learn a new skill on youtube. I learnt to play a bit of the dhol on yt. You can shop on eBay or buy books on amazon There are computer games or video games one can play. There are even heartbreak games one can play
heart break games? like heart break video games? tell me more
Re: any Muslim singles
OP, i've seen your ad in the rishta thread. if your parents are so strict and so old fashioned then how are you gonna go about it? do they know that you have put an ad at GS? how are you gonna break the news and/or convince your parents if you do find a rishta here on GS? what's your game plan?
Re: any Muslim singles
My family doesnt get involved nor would they want me involved with the community. My brothers are part of an Islamic group here, so if they see me outside in the community, it probably won't be that great.
@deeba1234 I don't have any cousins living here. Yeh I could do that, but then even then I don't know where to socialize where they can't see me. Im not the type of person to lie to them, but I seriously feel suffocated. My heart hasnt been at peace for like so many years now. I dont mind telling them I am working and then go somewhere but I really don't know where to go where my family members can't see me.
You mentioned doing further studies so maybe some of the pakistani or Islamic society on campus can have events which may be interesting? You can also make some new friends.
Maybe your brothers or parents might not know about events and it can be safe. What if cousins go with you?
Re: any Muslim singles
What about some people at work who you get along with? They could have common interests that you also have?
It might even be something during lunch hour or afternoon?
Re: any Muslim singles
In my honest opinion, it does not sound like you are ready for another relationship, let alone one as serious as marriage. You still seem to be dealing with your situation and have not fully moved on from it. I think that even if you were to find someone now, it is likely that you would bring all of this baggage from your current situation into your new relationship and that may cause problems.
It's also quite unfair and extremely unethical to use someone to forget another person. If a guy proposed to you and said "by the way, I would like to get married quickly because I really want to forget my ex," how would you feel? I think it is best to refrain from doing to others what one would not like done to oneself.
Re: any Muslim singles
I actually googled it and apparently there are games where you have to find a heart and then break it.
What would be great is a desi heartbreak game where the unsuspecting groom/bride has to escape the parents and in laws as well as unsavoury suitors in search of her heart.
Think this could be big. Let’s make this game happen. No bone in the world will be able to stop us pisiform even if it has a hook like a Pirate. iPhone Apps by Games2win
Re: any Muslim singles
OP, i've seen your ad in the rishta thread. if your parents are so strict and so old fashioned then how are you gonna go about it? do they know that you have put an ad at GS? how are you gonna break the news and/or convince your parents if you do find a rishta here on GS? what's your game plan?
My suggestion would be the larka and larki should pata the family. In the desi setup it seems the family should fall in love with the boy so find a suitable candidate who meets that. Then the families should love each other. Once that is satisfied then the girl and boy like each other. Phir sab khush.
Parents wouldn't object to finding someone on shaadi sites and GS is a serious site so should be no problem
I saw the ad as well OP and not to sound awkward but I think it's a good ad and I'm sure any guy in Canada would be lucky to make your acquaintance
Re: any Muslim singles
I think putting ads and all is great but give yourself time to heal and give yourself time to enjoy being you and to enjoy life before searching. There is plenty of time and if ur parents are not in rush or pressuring then why the tension. 50+ years shaadi to waise hi Ho jayegi
Re: any Muslim singles
I love the advice y'all are giving this person here.
Believe it or not, single people aren't always single because they're bad or they put themselves in that position. There are people who are single, and who marry late, even though they have been social, and have utilized multiple outlets to meet people. So I don't think it's fair to blame the OP that this is all her fault. Some things are just not in the cards at this time. Doesn't mean she wont meet someone in the future at the right place and time.
Secondly, you can't blame girls like her for being so sheltered. This is a reality of MANY families in Pakistan, the majority rather than the minority. They will not let their girls go out. So meeting people on your own socially is difficult and so most of us still rely on either chai party parades, or dawats/other shaadi invites, or word of mouth to get noticed and it's AUNTIES that need to notice you, not guys.
And even then you could be introduced to 500 aunties, and they still wont be able to bring you forth a guy for a rishta. Know why? Cuz they probably have daughters that are competing for those same rishtas.
This is what happens when the muslim world is falling apart from violence and mass deaths, illiteracy, ignorance, extremism, etc. Just based on these issues, whether we accept it or not, the vast majority of Pakistani citizen men are off the books for us girls. They're either illiterate, uneducated, poor, hungry/starving, sick, have 50 sisters to marry off first, live in remote villages, being bombed by the military, being bombed by the Taliban, living in unsecure areas, living in poorly habitable areas, etc. You think I'm being dramatic PCG as usual? Get a reality check, that truly is the vast MAJORITY of Pakistani men. So the pool of eligible bachelors is actually REALLY small, which is why getting a rishta in the Pakistani community is a matter of a competetive olympic sport.
I mean honestly, they just need to create an opening for this in the Brazil games this year, it'll be great. Most watched competition ever.
Re: any Muslim singles
Op, are there any cousins or aunts or grandparents that you could discuss your concerns with who could then try to talk to your parents? Before rushing to say that this won't work or that won't work, give the suggestions a shot. Try them out. And keep praying. Dua can change a person's heart and their outlook, yes even your parents, I have seen this happen, MashaAllah. So, along with effort, pray as well.
Re: any Muslim singles
Wowwwww just wow. You're so judgemental. So according to you, those who fall in love with someone from a different religion, are all stupid? Did I purposely fall in love with him? No. You wouldn't know it anyway. So what exactly am I supposed to do to find someone to marry? Go clubbing? Or just stand on the corner of the street and yell that I have no friends and im single and I badly need someone's company? Should I have a poster saying will you marry me and dance around the corner street?
@anya They don't have any problems about me working, which I am doing. They have a problem about me going out for other than work, and thats the only way I can find someone. No one is gonna appear at my home asking my parents for my rishta. And do u actually want me to sit in my room think of that guy, have nothing else to do and suffocate?
You know what, it's quiet clear that you're not looking for any proper advice to help you, instead all you're looking for is for a bunch of people to say "aww you poor thing", because not only you're making excuses, you're also ignoring people's proper advice and instead putting words in their mouth. You are unable and unwilling to do anything for yourself, and find a way to shoot down good ideas. Good for you.
Re: any Muslim singles
If the pool of Pakistani men is so small why not jump into another pool? :D
In difficult circumstances we need to adapt or we'll just die slow lonely deaths lol.. No Pakistanis? Why not try Indian Muslims or Arabs or some other race? If parents are rigid try and make them understand they're being unreasonable.. There are PLENTY of great Muslim guys out there.. All these little boxes which need to be ticked are the problem..