Re: any idea whats going on
honestly, I"m probably NOT waiting for him for 2+ years. That's a long time to keep seeing no to other good rishtas in the hopes that this guy will still be interested. That's why I'm confused...should I just close the chapter in my life and accept that its over? it seems HIGHLY unlikely that both of us will be single/interested after so long.
You're making it sound like you've invested a lot of feelings into this rishta, when you probably haven't. It's not worth it IMO. You shouldn't just marry a guy because he's willing to accept that you'll have loans and further degrees. Granted, it seems like some guys don't want to marry girls with higher education. But it doesn't mean that you marry the first guy who is accepting of it.
Plus... what uncle E-MAILS his son's rishta (not even confirmed future DIL yet) about his son and romance. He sounds way too out there. That's something that he should communicate with your parents.
Re: any idea whats going on
It also appears you are not ready yet for marriage. You may be having mixed feelings about getting married before finishing your studies. First be sure of what YOU want. The rest will fall in place once you sort out your mixed feelings.
Re: any idea whats going on
Summerbr, Southie, et al : Thanks guys, I'm surprised anyone bothered to read that spiel in it's entirety :P
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I decided to wait till he has a job (2+ years) and see where everything stands at that point. If they come with thameez and do it the RIGHT way my parents said it's fine, if not then they weren't worht it to begin with.
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Soconfused, it's interesting that you're willing to wait 2+ yrs for someone to learn some "thameez." You'd think they've already shown you how refined they are. Destiny is one thing ("if it's for the best it'll happen, God willing, 'I'A") but using fatalism as an excuse to be passive is a cop-out. You've got free-will for a reason. If God/the Universe/Cupid is showing you something, it's up to you to see it.
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That's a long time to keep saying no to other good rishtas in the hopes that this guy will still be interested
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So you're still interested in him, after all this? No gumption, no job, psycho mother, creepy father ... what gives, does he look like George Clooney or something? No wonder the god-complexes of aunties and their sons persist.
Re: any idea whats going on
Summerbr, Southie, et al : Thanks guys, I'm surprised anyone bothered to read that spiel in it's entirety :P
Soconfused, it's interesting that you're willing to wait 2+ yrs for someone to learn some "thameez." You'd think they've already shown you how refined they are. Destiny is one thing ("if it's for the best it'll happen, God willing, 'I'A") but using fatalism as an excuse to be passive is a cop-out. You've got free-will for a reason. If God/the Universe/Cupid is showing you something, it's up to you to see it.
So you're still interested in him, after all this? No gumption, no job, psycho mother, creepy father ... what gives, does he look like George Clooney or something? No wonder the god-complexes of aunties and their sons persist.
Sorry I think you misunderstood. By "wait" I meant not proceeding further, which is what they originally wanted. I'm NOT going to sit here and wait for him for sure since it's not worth it. I realize my self worth but I was also trying to give them a chance since both sides royally screwed up with this one (my parents included), but I'm not "desperate" enough to be forced to wait 2 years for someone that isn't sure of what he wants to do. He seemed like a nice kid so I didn't want to blow him off because of what could've been a mistake (they've called and apologized repeatedly at this point), but, like I said, I'm still young so there's no reason for me to sit there and pine over something that might/might not happen. I'm not trying to use fatalism as an excuse. But I really do believe that if it is for the best (I've been making more dua than I have ever done before in my life) then it'll happen--whether it be 2 months from not, 1 year from now, 10 years from now.
That's part of the reason I asked people here. I tend to be quick to cut people out if they hurt me/my family, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting in this case and not giving him a chance because of a possible misunderstanding.
Re: any idea whats going on
"they've called and apologized repeatedly at this point"
Bitiya - ab aapnay aisa googly (doosra) daal diya ki humara sar ghoom raha hai :)
If they have actually called and apologized repeatedly for thier one mistake, that changes the picture a bit, doesn't it? I had totally missed this key point re: their repeated wilingness to accept their mistake.