any idea whats going on

[soconfused]

Re: any idea whats going on

@llxxll

this is a tough situation now…maybe you should tell the sibling because if a simple apology or show of “sharmindagi” can appease your parents maybe those siblings can make it happen… though I am by no means denying that your parents feel insulted or that it is not understandable that they feel this way…I do feel its unfair to break off a rishta for just this reason … it makes me feel like if his mom made a mistake in blowing up at yours …yours are also making an error in judgment by being unforgiving … can you not try to speak with your parents rationally about this and get them to see that there’s a whole history of behavior fro his mother’s side that was good and you dont think its a prudent to throw away a rishta that you think is amazing simply because this one time his mother behaved irrationally

i dont think the guy is weak…i think he would have been weak if he condoned his mother’s behavior…it doesnt seem like that’s the case… it also seems like he’s playing it smart by not making a big deal out of it…because truly its not that big of a deal…it happens

by how you have described this guy and the behavior of his parents/mum outside of this one episode I do feel there may be a potential for this to turn out to be a delicate issue somewhere down the line if you let this guy go and don’t for some reason find somebody who in your eyes is similarly amazing or more amazing… so I would really try to be the peacemaker in this situation try to get your parents to behave rationally even if his mother didnt…at the end of the day we can only control our actions (well you are in the position to influence your parents) you cannot control anyone else (i.e. you cannot influence his mum to apologize) …I honestly believe she got insecure or was having a bad day …it’s not easy to utter the words I am sorry… but I do believe she’s trying to make amends by behaving normally and even extra nicer now…she’s trying to mitti pao…see if you can get your parents to see that and let it go

I completely agree with you. Their argument for it all is “you’re still young, you can get guys better than this, he’s not even fully settled yet. pata nahi why we let them come over. Plus you only met him 2-3x”. That’s all true, but it doesn’t take a genius to see this guy is good (my brother loves him too). I really really want to email the sister…Im just worried about the problems it could cause down the line. If I don’t tell my mom and I do that, what if it gets brought up in a discussion/argument? If I disclose that I did not tell my mom, I’m worried that’ll make me look overeager or chalak and sneaky…

I’m seriously regretting going the arranged route right now. It seems a lot easier to actually be communicating with the guy so if this kind of masla happens, at least I could talk to him so he can sort it out. I have to just sit here and have the parents go at it.