Say someone left you because they were angry at you for hurting them and thier family when you werent together through accidental gossip so when they came back around and heard that stuff he was already pissed off and bad moods caused a fight between you two . he decided to leave without letting you find out clearly and becuz of this misunderstanding you left a rishta so you ended up with nothing. now some time later he wants to come back and by chance you are not involved anywhere. you care about him and his life but you are upset that he left without even letting you clearly know what he was going to do and just kept leading you on and then at the end dumped you because he was so upset. now hes feelign really bad and wants to set things right and he doesnt want to be left all alone. currently you are not involved and obviously you need a rishta. so how would you feel and how would you treat him and would you take him back ? now he has sent the girl packing and he is contacting you. how would you react towards him in your conversations also.
Re: answer plez
I would send him packing too just like he did with the other girl!
Re: answer plez
Just move on, OP. You need a rishta but it doesn’t necessarily have to be him. It could be someone that treats you better. There’s just so much baggage in this relationship. You still haven’t fully moved past the pain he caused you. You and him end up exploding at each other. How many times do you need to ask us what you should do when the general consensus has been to forget him and move on? Maybe you keep asking because you’re hoping we’ll tell you want to hear. It doesn’t look as though seeking advice on here has helped you reach a conclusion. So, why don’t you try istikhara and talking to your family about him instead. I feel that would make things clearer for you.
Re: answer plez
He doesn’t want to get back with you because he loves you. He wants you in his life RIGHT NOW because he does not want to be alone.
And if he can send his first wife packing because of you, you would have to be stupid to think that someday he won’t send YOU packing because of another girl.
But then again the fact that you continued talking to him even after he got married says volumes about your character so maybe you two deserve each other.
Re: answer plez
Do Istkhara.
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Don’t know what ishtikara is.
Move on. He left you. Then he left the other girl. Technical analysis would draw a trend line. And for once they would be correct.
For he is a user. And you don’t want to be used by him. So far not much damage is done. Keep it that way.
Re: answer plez
people dont change you know
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What does your family say? They telling you this is a good idea? To get involved with someone who left his wife? Look OP I’ll give you some advice. You probably won’t take it though because you’re just making threads that all have the same question and you’re not listening to the answers. Grow up. Life is not a fairytale. There is no such thing as a Bollywood ending. Stop being stupid and get on with life.
Re: answer plez
You’re right, Mahool. I think we’ve all done this; I know I have.
Re: answer plez
The fact that people feel they “need a rishta” is exactly what makes the same people consider characters like the OP has mentioned.
Listen OP -
You don’t really need anyone to tell you what to do. You know what you need to do and that’s why you posted about it. That’s why you’ve written all the negative things about him.
Also, no one needs a rishta…if and when Allah swt decides the time is right for you to marry, you will…not a minute before or after that point. So instead of “needing” someone…how about making someone “need” you?
By the way, this guy is simply lonely…nothing more.
Re: answer plez
Yes, that’s the attitude that makes people settle for such odd people. You don’t need a rishta. No one NEEDS a rishta. If you’re doing this out of desperation, you’re going to regret it. A friend of mine rushed getting married to the first guy that said yes to her because she didn’t want to be single at 25…well now she’s divorced at 26.
This guy is using you as a time-pass because you’re allowing him to. He kicked his girl out (classssy) and now wants you back because he has no one else. He doesn’t need you and like Reha said, maybe you should be trying to find someone that actually wants to be with you and not someone that is using you to fill a void
Re: answer plez
If you’re fine with him treating you the same way after marriage by all means go for it..
If not run in the opposite direction..
Re: answer plez
if this is about you, (because it sure sounds like your story), then this is basically the short version of what you had previously posted about the same situation not too long ago. did the other thread close for you to start a new one?
anyway -
I am confused, I thought you were HAPPY that he and that girl were having problems, because that is exactly what you wrote. you couldn’t wait for them to break it off, so you could re enter into the picture. now, that he is back, (getting what you wanted), you are having second thoughts??
Re: answer plez
Seriously!?
I dunno what to tell you. I always burn bridges once i/other end my relationship. No looking back for me EVER..so always moved FWD and found someone new…
Since you are seriously considering getting back, not sure what you are looking for in a advice here…
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iv read everyones posts nad iv thought about it . i think im gona do it. i just get upset soemtimes when i think about stuff . otherwise now that hes with me again and i feel like i need him .. especially since i had a really hard time gettign over him and marrying soemone else it was just like mission impossible because i was so heartbroken and in so much pain. and anyways i cant do that to him if he is doing all this for me . and who is to say if i say no to him that tomorrow i will be able to be strong and move on and find someone that im happy with. its not that easy. i am really hurt but i think we are meant ot be together. and life will be easier if i learn to forgive nad forget.
thanks to everyone for the advices and your points of view.
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and btw somone said we blow up on eachother . well i did when i talked to him for obvious reasons now but now he doesnt blow up on me anymore. he has become so considerate and patient and considerate of my feelings. so loving and kind just like he was in the begining of our relationship. i m starting to love him even more now. its like a brand new him where hes crazy about me. i love it. this time around. he feels so bad so guilty thats he totally changed. not that he was bad before but just the stuff he used to get angry about there is just no more anger over trivial stuff in him anymore. its great.
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amd also my mom said you shouldnt turn away someone in need who is depending on you especially when you know how much trouble it will cause in their life. and it sure will because if i dont go along with this his life will basically be over and now hes trying to do be good and do the right thing. he made a mistake but he said hes not a bad person and i believe him . because hes done alot of caring things for me in the past so i know this to be true.
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It amazes me just how selfish you come across in your posts. Just b/c you want to be with this guy, you will twist everything to justify it.
Did you apply your mom’s advice to the woman this guy left?! Did you once think about how he left her and the trouble that caused in HER life?
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^She doesn’t seem interested in what the majority of people here think. I think maybe she’s hoping even just one or two people will tell her to pursue this dream for hers and she’ll feel more “assured”…but even without that scanty approval…she had already made up her mind a loooong time ago that she wants this guy. No amount of analyzing or chiding or guilting is gonna make her budge…so we should just let her be. It’s actually more important for her to seek out the approval of her own parents and that of the guy’s parents. What GS k laug think is not as crucial to this situation. So let her pursue him…and she should worry more about hoe the respective families will respond…as opposed to what we think.