You are 25 and very much career oriented.. and then u get the biggest opportunity of ur life that u have always been dreaming of and had always worked hard for…U get a chance to go for higher studies for 4 years(like Masters,M.Phil or PhD)..but ur parents have a very good rishta for u and they want u to get married..
What choice are u going to make?..Studies or Marriage?..(these are the only two options, u can’t go for engagement and keep it for 4 years or any other option like that…)
Views of Married ladies would be much appreciated that if again given choice, what would u prefer?
what if u got the scholarship for country A and the proposal is from country B..then ?..u can't leave ur hubby for 4 years and go to study somewhere else...
Why does there need to be a choice? Talk to the guy himself and let him know you've finally gotten into some program you're really excited about,and would like to pursue the opportunity. Pitch it as increased income potential in case something happens to him, his kids wont be starving or you wont spend like 5 years looking around for some other guy to marry to support yourself and his kids.
Is it possible for him to move to that country and work there while you finish your studies?
I will encourage and prefer studies but also because thats how I did it personally.. my husband and I stayed separated in two countries while I finished my education.. it was hard in the beginning but it has helped a lot in the long run.. I will not have it any other way around.. if the rishta is sincere enough, he will support your decision but if not then you can always find someone else in four years.. this is not the end of teh world! :-)
It really depends on what higher studies you are seeking. Does the graduate studies have a lot of earining/future potential? Most of these graduate programs don't. Besides a a bucket full of loans, most of these grad programs just suck away your years for a job you could have gotten with a Bachelors. You may even seen as "overqualified".
I can understand professional educations (ie MD, DMD, PharmD, Optometry, etc), where there is a guaranteed high earning potential but otherwise not really.
You are 25 and very much career oriented.. and then u get the biggest opportunity of ur life that u have always been dreaming of and had always worked hard for...U get a chance to go for higher studies for 4 years(like Masters,M.Phil or PhD)..but ur parents have a very good rishta for u and they want u to get married..
What choice are u going to make?..Studies or Marriage?..(these are the only two options, u can't go for engagement and keep it for 4 years or any other option like that...)
Views of Married ladies would be much appreciated that if again given choice, what would u prefer?
Note : i only want serious replies plz..
Yes been there and done that. So being 25 you need to consider a couple of things.
at 25 how many proposals r u getting now. And they are of any good quality. Hence u need to consider that at age 29 they will decrease.
The proposal that u have now is there any chemistry cause you might not find anyone with the same chemistry again.
Yes career and that is all good but you need someone sooner or later and the earlier you find someone the easier you have time to adjust.
Your parents have a very good rishta for you......but have you even met the rishta and discussed your plans to seek higher education with him?
Why make it so black and white? Yes, rishta prospects do dwindle as your age increases....but unless you've talked to the guy (whom you might not even like...after interacting with him).......you're basing all of this on assumptions. Your parents think he's a "good" catch....but what do you think of him? Such a decision will impact you more than them.
If you find one another compatible, some sort of mutual compromise can be reached (longer engagement/moving to another location/continuing education after marriage/perhaps finding a similar degree program in his country, etc).
If the guy and his family are DEAD AGAINST you fulfilling a very basic right (allowed by Islam) such as seeking higher education .......then that clears the path for you to find someone who is more flexible/compatible....whilst also pursuing your educational goals.
As mentioned above, life doesn't stop after marriage....and it certainly won't stop if you were to enroll yourself in the graduate program and start taking classes. You can be a graduate student....and ALSO keep an eye out for good/compatible rishtas.
do they have the educational program you want in the country that the guy is from? maybe that can be an option as well.
I am getting married next year, and I postponed further education to get married. My situation might be different from yours because this is a love marriage, but I am still moving to another country, and will InshAllah continue my studies there.
