Sara explained it perfectly. It is important for women to have security in their marriage… and security often comes in financial ways. But even more than women, I find that it is their families that want this. No one wants their little girl to go through hard times and they want them to have a well settled life. Girls brought up in the US, usually do have well settled lives … in their parents house. Their parents don’t want this to change just due to marriage. So for this reason, I think even when it comes to arranged marriages, it isnt that common for girls parents to start looking in pakistan right away. They prefer to start looking for a rishtaa in the US.
As Sara said - even bringing an educated guy over here… doesn’t guarantee that he will get a job. The hassles of passing boards, sometimes going back to school, immigration issues, etc. are ridiculous in this country. I know of many examples where the guy/girl from overseas were never able to pass their boards and become certified to work in this country in their legitimate profession. Now for the girls… its not as big of a deal because their husbands are supporting them regardless. But for the guys that are unable to get onto their feet… it is a very difficult life. Girls parents have to help them out alot… and it drains them…emotionally and financially. Other people in the community hear about this and know about this… it only cements it into people’s heads even more that they will not bring a guy from overseas for their daughters. It’s so hard for people to get a job here anyways nowadays… it just seems too much of a risk to bring a overseas graduate to find a job.
Its not that strange or odd for parents to think this way. It is for the same reason that people in Pakistan have no problem sending their daughter overseas when a good rishtaa comes their way…one thinks “USA” and immediately they imagine that their daughter will have a well settled life there full of comforts (whether that is true or not.. is another story).
Lol … when you find out… let us know ok???
Although the majority of Pakistani families I know, are all letting their sons and daughters marry people of their own choice… to Pakistani’s born and raised in the US … It is not odd to find that in some families sometimes one son is married to a girl from Pakistan. Mabey he was not comfortable finding someone on his own and let his parents help him… and they were all about rishtay in Pakistan. But in the same family, the daughters are all married to guys born and raised in America.
I’d say this is accurate.
What hits my funny bone is how these same families are cursing America every day, and hoping that the country will end up like the Roman civilization: in ruins.
Why would you die for your daughter to go to a country that you’re hoping collapses in the next 5 years?