so all the time i see threads here complaining about men going back to pakistan to get married. and the assumptions that these people want to get a ghareloo, seedhi-saadhi larki .. and of course the sarcasm that goes with such posts of how paki girls nowadays are so chalak and this and that and become all innocent and sweet at the point of arrival of these rishta-seekers … and you know how the story goes basically …
recently a girl i know from my uni in Pakistan got married to a guy from america. now this marriage has absolutely nothing to do with the general assumptions that go on here (regarding the boys and their mums) …
this girl that i am talking about is more western perhaps than any girl who is an abcd/bbcd … is very opinionated … was the typical miss.popular … cares jack about what people on the street think about her clothes … wouldnt give a second thought to wrapping herself with even a little shawl when going out to markets like anarkali in her tight jeans and short tops … is extremely cacophonous … i’d call her immature … belongs to a well-off family .. meaning maids etc are at every disposal … she’d never in a million years pretend to be perhaps the kind of girl the rishtay walay might be looking for … let’s say, pretending is not something she’d be very good at … but all in all … is still a very genuine and super honest person …
now … i am thinking … this is new (in contrast to the usual talks here) … what made the people go to pak to find a girl that wouldve been easily available in their own neighbourhood even …
and the guy was rather (good)decent-looking … slightly scruffy hair for my taste … but i’d imagine him to have a few flings in the past
what are boys really in fact thinking that we haven’t figured out yet …
Desi marriages are not just about the girl and the boy, its a union of two families. Sure they could'vefound such a girl in the neighbourhood but probably not the kinda family they were looking for.
Also, the fact that she has been brought up in Pakistan does make her somewhat different than the typical western girls.... in mentality... not in physical appearance, as u describe.
Re: another western-boy goes back home to marry ...
Pakistani here in America usually have very strong bonds back home . Living abroad they feel compelled to keep this connection alive by marrying in families back home . Doesn't matter how much we adopt to American culture but still we think of it as temporary stop in life and eventually plan to go back to Pakistan .
So in an arrange marriage it just more then will of girl and guy and more of the family ties in both countries .
Desi marriages are not just about the girl and the boy, its a union of two families. Sure they could'vefound such a girl in the neighbourhood but probably not the kinda family they were looking for.
could be true for all other such events .. then why such a big issue over men going back home?
Also, the fact that she has been brought up in Pakistan does make her somewhat different than the typical western girls.... in mentality... not in physical appearance, as u describe.
nah .. i dont really find any difference ... there is a whole spectrum of women abroad ... from the overly conservative to the overly open-minded ...
Pakistani here in America usually have very strong bonds back home . Living abroad they feel compelled to keep this connection alive by marrying in families back home . Doesn't matter how much we adopt to American culture but still we think of it as temporary stop in life and eventually plan to go back to Pakistan .
So in an arrange marriage it just more then will of girl and guy and more of the family ties in both countries .
are paki-american girls different than paki-american boys then in regards to this opinion ... talking in reference to the general mindset ive read here on GS ... also threads like reha posted of her friend not wanting to marry an fob.
Re: another western-boy goes back home to marry ...
One of my friends (male, from the US) said he was interested in girls from Pakistan because they just looked hot all the time. Which I guess can make sense -- there is WAY more access salons and such on a regular basis and it's much more affordable. You can be picture-perfect regularly, rather than just on special occasions.
Pakistani here in America usually have very strong bonds back home . Living abroad they feel compelled to keep this connection alive by marrying in families back home . Doesn't matter how much we adopt to American culture but still we think of it as temporary stop in life and eventually plan to go back to Pakistan .
So in an arrange marriage it just more then will of girl and guy and more of the family ties in both countries .
Absolutely!
are paki-american girls different than paki-american boys then in regards to this opinion ... talking in reference to the general mindset ive read here on GS ... also threads like reha posted of her friend not wanting to marry an fob.
I think so. I think men are just simpler creatures though. Their formula for happiness doesnt change, be it Pakistan or America. Women are more complex and an American born woman will be complex because she is raised around different ideals and goals.
One of my friends (male, from the US) said he was interested in girls from Pakistan because they just looked hot all the time. Which I guess can make sense -- there is WAY more access salons and such on a regular basis and it's much more affordable. You can be picture-perfect regularly, rather than just on special occasions.
well ultimately she'll be coming home with him anyways .. so there go all the parlors and the regularity of staying picture-perfect :D
lol. When I was in Pakistan a few years ago, this girl went to Mee Lee’s beauty parlour everyday to get her bangs straightened - and only her bangs. I was shocked. She yelled at the women for not knowing how to straighten hair … but she kept going back.
are paki-american girls different than paki-american boys then in regards to this opinion ... talking in reference to the general mindset ive read here on GS ... also threads like reha posted of her friend not wanting to marry an fob.
Noops its the family ties I am talking about . Means of course if you are mother you'll prefer someone from your immediate family . Either its in Pakistan or abroad . Plus in arrange marriages its more about family preference than the personality of girl or boy .
Re: another western-boy goes back home to marry ...
if it's that simple ... then girls should obviously stop making a fuss about not being able to find appropriate-husbands ... also be ok with boys from back home ... and be ok with arranged marriages basically ...
One of my friends (male, from the US) said he was interested in girls from Pakistan because they just looked hot all the time. Which I guess can make sense -- there is WAY more access salons and such on a regular basis and it's much more affordable. You can be picture-perfect regularly, rather than just on special occasions.
Er.....intresting. :)
if it's that simple ... then girls should obviously stop making a fuss about not being able to find appropriate-husbands ... also be ok with boys from back home ... and be ok with arranged marriages basically ...
How do I put this delicately, guys who marry girls from Pak get a better deal than the girsl who marry guys from back home.
I think most guys and their moms prefer to get girls from back home because they “consider” and “perceive” them “simpler” and “less complicated”.Obviously this may or may not be true.Back home mind set is different.There is “LOVE” between couples who like each other instead of “RELATIONSHIP”.I am attaching a video which depicts the meaning of love and marriage in a rural pakistani setting which may give you a slight idea!
(in contrast to the usual talks here) … what made the people go to pak to find a girl that wouldve been easily available in their own neighbourhood even …
… well sorta … figuratively …