How and when did you decide your haq mahar?
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my parents asked in laws to check wth imam the Islamic mehr n wht he say just write tht 2 days before marriage
Another question on haq mahar
My father and jait decided it...don't know exactly when but it was a quick and painless process
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My father asked my husband. He said he can pay x amount of money. My father agreed to it without any questions or issues.
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Better to decide it before announcing date of marriage. So, that marriage ceremony go smoothly.
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And one more thing Mahar is right of women and she should decide how much she want unlike today's custom where others decide it.
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And one more thing Mahar is right of women and she should decide how much she want unlike today's custom where others decide it.
Yes that is what I was thinking, shouldn't the girl have say in it?
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Yes that is what I was thinking, shouldn't the girl have say in it?
It's the right God have give to girl which should remain with her unless she delegate this decision (i.e. to Parents, Brother etc.), but again we only follow Islam where it suites us. Medieval mindset of enforcing own wishes over women is deep rooted in our society.
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I don't have any regret about my father initiating the talk and making the decision for me. I got my haq mehr a day before my nikkah. :)
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Yes that is what I was thinking, shouldn't the girl have say in it?
Girl's parents or her elders are working on her behalf, and they have her interest in their mind. In fact its good that girl has no say, because out of jazbaat and love for their hubby, girls tend to suggest a very small amount. My wife was doing the same. It was my brother in law who told her that no, a higher amount is for her own security.
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what is the norm??
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my mom decided and asked for mine, i really didn't care about it. Mine i got as gold set on my nikkah day.
For my exSIL, her father demanded 10lac, which was brother said was way too much and he couldn't afford it anyways. The girl's father asked for it at the time of the nikkah, my brother said he will give it to his wife after the rukhsati...but the father stated: you pay for something first and then take it home.
Haq mehr has become such a business and payment for some family in Pakistan...super sad.
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Girl's parents or her elders are working on her behalf, and they have her interest in their mind. In fact its good that girl has no say, because out of jazbaat and love for their hubby, girls tend to suggest a very small amount. My wife was doing the same. It was my brother in law who told her that no, a higher amount is for her own security.
sorry tlk bhai don't agree, haq mehr is gift not security my parents decided the minimu amount n huby was like thora sa tu hone chahye
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Haq Mahar is an important amount. Don't write "786" or "1".... In my family, they normally request between $10k - $30K...
Re: Another question on haq mahar
Girl's parents or her elders are working on her behalf, and they have her interest in their mind. In fact its good that girl has no say, because out of jazbaat and love for their hubby, girls tend to suggest a very small amount. My wife was doing the same. It was my brother in law who told her that no, a higher amount is for her own security.
Good job to your brother-in-law for caring for her sis!.... Haq Mahar is there for a reason but needs to be what husband can afford. It is obligatory for a man to give dowry to his wife.
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TLK bahi is ALWAYS right! 
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So what basis used to arrive at a ''sufficient'' amount? Is there any formula/method etc?
Like X number of month's kharcha, or x% of assets or anything of that sorts?
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Good job to your brother-in-law for caring for her sis!.... Haq Mahar is there for a reason but needs to be what husband can afford. It is obligatory for a man to give dowry to his wife.
It was my brother in law from my side (my behnoi, not my sala). I got stabbed by my own family :(
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So what basis used to arrive at a ''sufficient'' amount? Is there any formula/method etc?
Like X number of month's kharcha, or x% of assets or anything of that sorts?
I heard from an Aalim that amount be, that in case of Divorce, girl should be able to maintain the same life style that she had in her maika, for at least 6 months. I think this makes sense as in case of divorce, about 4 of those months are iddat, and then rest two can be used by the girl to find another rishta.