hi…
im like stuck in a very similar situation like Chameli420 vbmenu_register(“postmenu_3618796”, true); ..i was reading her thread and felt like it was me the whole thread was actually tlking about…
well..im 21 finishing my undrgrad .. been in love for 2 yrs now with a guy cming frm India…im a pakistani.. not pure paki cuz i ve been bought up in syria and egypt…
but still have the same culture…
ok.. now going back to my relationship…my guy is around..27.. and we both love each other..hes well settled…he owns his own business..umm.. my brother tld my parents about us whn he found out… like 2 yrs now… and thn i was grounded and abused (physically)…
but things got better..i started uni… thigns got better…i forgot evreything about the beating up… but i tld my parents tht i really love this guy… thn my mom started tkin me seriosly..althought my dad still dsnt agree…
now..my mom seems top agree with the rishta but my dad says no…
he dsnt allow me to work and get job experience.. he had made me leve the job tht i was doing.. sm time back…
in all this
my dads sister played a major role she said tht we would never gv our daughters to indians.
after 1 mnth her daughter had an engagement…love … the guy is frtm india as well.. every1 came to the engagement from all around the world.. they saw my guy and all of them disaapproved..
his mom called my mom n same my mom also sai di have to do mashwara wid the family n answer..n no bdy agreed..with nything..cuz my guy is an indian..and they were happy for my cousin…
i felt soo bad they made me go to the ceremony..
i was crying how cm no bdy feels tht i want this as wel..
no bdy cared..
not een my dad mum…
my sis supports me..though shes younger.. so it dsnt really count
i lvoe my parents alot
and i love mu guy as much…
i dono wat to do..
now his mom wants him to get into a commitment
focourse hes 27.. which is gud enough..
i duno wat to do..i talked to my mom..and dad but thn it ends up in a way tht my mum tells me tht dad said he’d divorce her…if she spoke to him about my guy n me…
what should i do..
Surely it cant be the fact that he's Indian? there are so many inter indo-pak marriages. Is there something else about him that they disapprove of apart from his being Indian?
dekho pcg, you tried ur best and he tried his..so if things dont work out then leave it to God.. you never know what He has planned for you..maybe this guy is not in ur naseeb....if your father has threatened ur mother abt this divorce thingi then you should stop it...dont ruin ur mother's life for you own pleasure....qurbani de do....Allah behter karey aur is qurbani ka ajar zaroor dega..have faith in HIM
i know bahot mushkil kaam hota hia...lekin trust me waqt sab zakham bhar deta hai... (personal expereince hai)
Wow, thats really sad PCG. It looks like you're probably going to have to make a choice here but maybe there's something you can try if your Mom is willing.
Have your Mom invite the guy over as a potential rishta and have your father meet with him without bringing up where he's from. If your father likes him, maybe you'll have a better chance.
Aside from that, you may have to make a really difficult choice. You can defy your father and hope that, in time, he will forgive and forget. Most parents will, most especially once the grandkids start arriving.
Or you give up your love in order to please your parents and hope that they can find someone else for you that you'd be able to accept.
the problem is tht my dad..has already met the guy…i mean seen him and knws about him..but dsnt knw the family.. he dsnt wana meet him..and he dsnt wana see the family…either… both the guy n the family are very emani (religious) and decent..
my parents are asking me to look at other option which is my cousin ..he drinks and gambles.. i dont have nything to wards him… hes very different.. i love my guy cuz hes sober…mature..he knws his respoinsibility
and he know how to take care of me..
i duno..
PCG u r definitly going to miss him but trust me the time when u will sign ur nikaahnaama ur going to forget him and everything.We just dont understand but our parents loves us the most.Nobody can love u like ur mother,and i am not asking u to give a qurbani.i dont like the comaprision thing but i want u to compare his love with ur mothers' love if u really think that he loves u more than ur mother then u better go for it.par agar tumhen yeh lagay that ur mom loves u more them anything in this world.then there is nothing else i need to say.best of luck PCG:)
PCG all i can do is that if u r in karachi tell me ur adress and i will talk to ur parents i will try to convince them may be they will agree and think about the matter when i will try.
PCG, I dont quite understand the problem that your Dad is having. I mean I DO understand the problems between India and Pakistan but if the guy is a good Muslim guy and will be able to support and care for his family, isnt that more important than the land where he was raised?
Is your dad more interested in getting you married to a relative than anyone else? If so, he will find fault with anyone other than a relative. Can you live with this? Do you think your Dad would ever forgive and forget? And would you be ready to live with the consequences of being estranged from your family until he does? Dont forget that this is YOUR life my dear. You will have many many years down the road when parents are no longer there....but you will be living with the choices they have made for you.
Sorry to seem to be encouraging you to defy them,,, it isnt that, really. I always lean toward love lol! It just brings so much sunshine to the universe!
Someone needs to talk to your Dad seriously. Unless I'm missing something here. You seem like a level-headed and intelligent woman who knows what she wants. So I doubt that this is just an infatuation type of thing. Dont let the chance of a happy life pass you by. You're a fighter, so fight for what you want.
