Re: Another in-laws thread
tipusultan: forgiven your poor english and poor example :halo:
Thanks for it. anyway i am also one of the Jaahil appreciate your kind understanding.
Re: Another in-laws thread
Proto... I think you really should look at the positive things in your life. There will always be negative stuff in each family. Of course we are all raised differently, in different families. There will always be differences. But like someone mentioned you married their son, one of them. I am sure you are happy with him, so look at what great son his parents raised. They maybe jahil/paindo whatever themselves but they are the parents of your husband. I sometimes get super annoyed at my in laws too but I know that my husband gave me everything in this world, everything i ask for. The people I am annoyed at are his parents, they chose me for their son (they went against their extended family to do this...) so no matter what, i love them and i respect them :) Like I said, just see the positive in every relationship.
Re: Another in-laws thread
You're most welcome if you want to take it personal and relate yourself to it even if not needed
Re: Another in-laws thread
Lol.
You're most welcome if you want to take it personal and relate yourself to it even if not needed
me?
You're most welcome if you want to take it personal and relate yourself to it even if not needed
Do not worry no one is taking it personal. We are just expressing our opinion. It all boils down to individuals position.
Unlike west, in our society a son could not run away from a duty toward parents at least. And you started at wrong foot by saying that they come from Pind without any reason.
If we are talking about behavioral Jahaalat, please do not forget he is (may be you as well) also from same background. Only difference is after getting a good degree and good life in the city we have changed.
But that would not give anyone licence to treating them and their lifestyle in poorly.
Do not worry no one is taking it personal. We are just expressing our opinion. It all boils down to individuals position.
**Unlike west, in our society a son could not run away from a duty toward parents at least. **And you started at wrong foot by saying that they come from Pind without any reason.
If we are talking about behavioral Jahaalat, please do not forget he is (may be you as well) also from same background. Only difference is after getting a good degree and good life in the city we have changed.
But that would not give anyone licence to treating them and their lifestyle in poorly.
In fact, I'm proud to say our sons raised in the West not only abandon their parents, but also their wives and kids. They're just not into the whole responsibility thing.
Re: Another in-laws thread
This thread is a great example of making a mountain out of a mole.
Where did Proto say the guests were her hubby's own parents or even siblings????????? She said they were hubby ki phoophi ki behan ki beti kay relatives..... or whatever order she presented.
Why should she be liable for guests that happen to be hubby's doooooor kay rishtay daar, who all of a sudden show up on the door step expecting to be entertained and taken care of not once but thrice in two weeks???
Serioulsy how many of you would do that if you were in her place? Let's see a raise of hands..... chalo shabash.
Re: Another in-laws thread
^ This happens quiet often in Pakistan and has been our culture for centuries where guests have been considered a blessing instead of a 'liability'. I guess it is an option for us to keep our traditions of entertaining guests or adopt the idea of a secluded 'family unit'. Most of us take the later option, but we still are not happy. I wonder why.
This thread is a great example of making a mountain out of a mole.
Where did Proto say the guests were her hubby's own parents or even siblings????????? She said they were hubby ki phoophi ki behan ki beti kay relatives..... or whatever order she presented.
Why should she be liable for guests that happen to be hubby's doooooor kay rishtay daar, who all of a sudden show up on the door step expecting to be entertained and taken care of not once but thrice in two weeks???
Serioulsy how many of you would do that if you were in her place? Let's see a raise of hands..... chalo shabash.
I'll do it ... :raises hand:
and If I cant be counted as I am a "hubby" and not "wife", let me add ... I'll do it for susralees too ...
^ This happens quiet often in Pakistan and has been our culture for centuries where guests have been considered a blessing instead of a 'liability'. I guess it is an option for us to keep our traditions of entertaining guests or adopt the idea of a secluded 'family unit'. Most of us take the later option, but we still are not happy. I wonder why.
Having guests is one thing, having REPEATED guests thrice in two weeks is another (the bold part is really important here atleast to me).
But you are saying if the situation presented by Proto were to happen at your house, you'll happily take care of your wives' dooooooor kay rishtaydaar without raising a brow no matter how often they showed up at your door step?
You'll make 18 rotis per meal with no problem? Wait I shouldn't have said that. You won't be making the rotis, your wife will. You'll just be doing the pick and drop to and from the bus station, right?
I'll do it ... :raises hand:
and If I cant be counted as I am a "hubby" and not "wife", let me add ... I'll do it for susralees too ...
Acha chalo that's good. :)
What EXACTLY will you be doing for repeat offenders errr I mean susralee guests or any guests for that matter, they don't even have to be susralees? Keyword here is 'guests' NOT 'susralee guests'.
Obviously you have to go to work, so how do you plan to take care of em when they are going to be staying over for a few days?
This thread is a great example of making a mountain out of a mole.
Where did Proto say the guests were her hubby's own parents or even siblings????????? She said they were hubby ki phoophi ki behan ki beti kay relatives..... or whatever order she presented.
Why should she be liable for guests that happen to be hubby's doooooor kay rishtay daar, who all of a sudden show up on the door step expecting to be entertained and taken care of not once but thrice in two weeks???
Serioulsy how many of you would do that if you were in her place? Let's see a raise of hands..... chalo shabash.
Exactly.
Re: Another in-laws thread
if you are the one paying rent, or brought the carpet in your jahez or bought the dustbin with your hard earned money then its good to ask them politely.
otherwise, let em mooj and do the mooj with em. and talk to your hubby directly about this concern that you really cant stop your extended relatives and have fun over your hard earned money. you gotta do it yourself.
ps. itni tension lain geen tu waqt say phele bhuddi hojayeain geen.
ps2. if you can hold on to em its good...the good thing about people from pind is they always remember who ever treat em well.
ps3. if you treat em badly, then get ready to be labeled as tyrant. which will affect you drastically in the long run.
How do you do moj if you are busy looking after a bunch of people plus your kid, plus the house, etc etc etc? 
thats the thing…forget about cleaning…attend your guests. ask them their hal-ehwal. talk to them about their experiences, about their life, do some tareef of em.
and when its khana time ask em to help you in the kitchen after all they makes the best roti…if they dont wana make one…then get it from outside. but dont ruin yourself in expectation of some reward cuz to be honest people really dont care much about food cuz khana to sub he khatay hain or teen waqt ka he khatay hian.
and when hubby comes home ask him to help you in the cleaning.
ps. sajal api, we women stress a lot about what other women will think about our cleaning habits. which shouldn’t be anyones matter and we should also be not something to stress a lot about.
Having guests is one thing, having REPEATED guests thrice in two weeks is another (the bold part is really important here atleast to me).
But you are saying if the situation presented by Proto were to happen at your house, you'll happily take care of your wives' dooooooor kay rishtaydaar without raising a brow no matter how often they showed up at your door step?
You'll make 18 rotis per meal with no problem? Wait I shouldn't have said that. You won't be making the rotis, your wife will. You'll just be doing the pick and drop to and from the bus station, right?
Its just about having an open heart. Yes, I would do that and my mom has been doing that for years without ever grumbling. We have lots of fun when we have guests and I miss being at home with lots of people visiting.
^ This happens quiet often in Pakistan and has been our culture for centuries where guests have been considered a blessing instead of a 'liability'. I guess it is an option for us to keep our traditions of entertaining guests or adopt the idea of a secluded 'family unit'. Most of us take the later option, but we still are not happy. I wonder why.
I agree with you. Well Said.
Maham S: you got way more far with it..itni serious baat nahin thi na Itna serious honay ki zaroorat thi..that's all I have to say :)
Ok my bad, i did really take it pretty seriously. No hard feelings :-)
Proto you need to have a word with your husband. These are HIS relatives, tell him that you're sick of all this. You're not a slave. He can ask them nicely not to bother coming again. Dunia main ek hi doctor nahin hai, they can go to someone else.
Yes Exactly, it is HIS relatives, they have lost all right on him and he have ( by any mean) no right to help them ( if he can), HIS jahil relatives ( how these Jahil relatives allowed him to become a DACTAR... it would be different case if he is a Neem-hakeem or Homeopathetic DAACTAR).. HE shuold have married a girl from his PIND only and not anyone so SOPHISTICATED that she get disgust with HIS relatives...
Here is what to do, throw him out the house, divorce him and find a nice clean non-jahil family ( this time make sure that they don't have a single relative from any PIND)...