I guess it becomes an issue when between you the way the wife behaves, dresses etc is not in disagreement but when a third party comes along and says ‘why does she wear short sleeves or not do hijab’ and then the hubby acts on this criticism and starts pressurising the wife to change her ways to please other people. I’ve seen this happen with a friend of mine and particularly in the ‘live in’ system. The guy seems fairly rational and they have a great relationship - but his family have a way of planting a seed in his head and allowing it to cause problems in the marriage.