well each person has different nature and in some cases, I have seen people working out by talking within the family often. Its just the matter of getting what is going to work for you and sticking to it. Its not HARD AND FAST rule to not-talk to family.
I know few couples who are mashallah living very happy life and in them, husband’s kicker is that “ok, you have problem with my ammi or if she has problem with you, talk to each other RIGHT AWAY, dont let the snowball effect come into play…”
both approaches have advantages and shortcomings, its just the matter of figuring out which one works better for you…