My life is like a color plate
All colors mixed together
Just like the good and the bad days
And she was the pink color of my life.
Soft, gentle and divine.
But that pink got lost in the darker shades
And ended up becoming violet and gray
I kept looking up that innocent hue
But ended up making up a dirty mix
And even if I split up these dark patches
I wont get my pink again
She is lost somewhere in this crowd
Her voice still echoes in my ears like a song
She is lost somewhere in these darker shades
Never to touch the canvas again.
I walk through a crowded room
To find that you're not there.
I find myself sitting all alone
Lost in my despair.
I shut my eyes and think of you
The thought seems oh so real.
I reach out to take your hand
But nothingness I feel.
A tear drops from my eye
And rolls slowly down my face.
The salty drop lands on my lip
My sorrow I can taste.
Through my tears I thought I saw
You walking through the crowd.
I dry my eyes and look out to you
As I call your name aloud.
But your image fades and so my hope
Of ever finding you.
I leave the room with a dream
That never shall come true.
<!-- THE POST -->
Earth prepared
her body is lowered.
Above the silent eyes
empty lips
tarnished heart
one leaf to another whispers.
In the distance
flowers act like fools
and water laughs
an enormous yellow kite
spools children with its thread
while on the wind glide
scent of rose
a rusty note's nostalgia
a solitary bird and clouds
like cotton turtles swimming.
Now imagine light
filling in dense shadows
I might have wandered into
thinking and believing that
all this Love had ever been
actually ended here.
<!-- THE POST -->
Sometimes you do not obey
Time's colossal hands
Sometimes you rush into me
Like the sea towards a million sands .....
Darling, I often think about You an I
I am the Wind that wavers,
You are the certain land,
I am the shadow that passes
Over the sand.
I am the leaf that quivers,
You, the unshaken tree;
You are the stars that are steadfast,
I am the sea.
You are the light eternal-
Like a torch I shall die.
You are the surge of deep music,
I but a cry!
Sometimes you are a dream
That I woke up to in real life.
And sometimes you are the moon,
Standing still above me, silent and unreachable.....
<!-- THE POST -->
When the long day goes by
And I do not see your face,
The old wild, restless sorrow
Steals from its hiding place.
My day is barren and broken,
Bereft of light and song,
A beach bleak and windy
That moans the whole day long.
To the empty beach at ebb tide,
Bare with its rocks and scars,
Come back Jaan, like the sea with singing,
And light of a million stars.
<!-- THE POST -->
in my dreams
I see you late at night
in my dreams
I see your face shining in light
in my dreams
there is forgiveness and hope
in my dreams
with love you and I both
in my dreams
I give you everything I have
in my dreams
we still talk and laugh
in my dreams
happiness and peace in her eyes
in my dreams
no one leaves or lies or dies
in my dreams
you're never too far away
in my dreams
not there, alone inside that grave
Clouds
grew into a gloom.
like a little child,
I knelt in prayer,
eyes pointed towards heaven,
Thanking God
for rain, to hide
tears.
What happened to
enchanted forests,
cool mystical streams,
And those wild crazy dreams?
I saw myself love die.
A lonely silhouette,
like a single falling shooting star,
on that very same bright blue
sea of dreams.
What was the dream,
Undreamt, unreal
Was my heart just a sleeping stone
Was it there to make you feel
I know you don't know my pain
But now they all see me cry
So it hurts all that much more
when thoughts of you pass me by
My world was you but it
came to an end,
You were the love of my life
My very dearest friend.
<!-- THE POST -->
Come to me in the silence of the night
Come to me in the sleeping sweetness of a dream
Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright
As sunlight on a stream
Come back in tears
Of memory, hope and love .....
Of unfinished years.
<!-- THE POST -->
Love is a word out of season,
a fruit not yet ripe,
a fragile flower still in bud.
Have I spoken too soon,
deceived by an early spring,
with frost yet to come?
The thought brings sadness,
like a dark cloud moving
to cover the brightness of the day.
I fear a song that might need be sung,
not of much desired joy, of dancing,
but a song sung by a fool
who has lost his greatest treasure.
He will sing beautifully,
his words weaving through the air
like birds flying before a summer storm.
<!-- THE POST -->
Listen when I whisper
Or call out in my sleep
It will show you what's within me
Hidden deep
No one told you to believe me
Or trust what your eyes see
or to believe in what you're holding
even me
I didn't ask to love you
Didn't want my heart to care
But now I feel you deep inside me.
You're not there
I can hear the clock it’s ticking
as waves of time wash over me
Where are you now, I wonder?
And like you, When will I be free?
<!-- THE POST -->
Your laughter, like chimes of pure silver tone
Danced through the shadows
Like the moonlight in the garden where I held you
Your body soft and small curved gently beneath my hand
And yet your voice was strong
And fiery spirit sparked behind your luminous eyes
That spoke to me of years of knowing.
How I longed to caress the midnight tresses
Which strained in revolt
Against slender pins that held them back against their will
Allowing only the frailest wisps to curl
Featherlike about your childlike face
And I thought, she belongs to me a lucky man
And when the music ended, too soon
We parted with a murmur of polite words of death
And you were gone.
<!-- THE POST -->
A tiny dot on the map I have drawn
you were the starting point.
From you a thick red line
drew ever increasing circles and following it
I was led through love, happiness and laughter
and then returned to you as each circle became complete.
Now, my red line
has ceased circling back to you
and I find a mistake in the map I have crafted -
You were not the starting point.
You were merely a landmark I looked to
to find my bearings.
Thank you Eshan.
This is true. And I just had to express it.
After the warm hot Summer, came the chilling Winter. A different season I guess.
There were only songs of Love and Happiness before, then came the Sadness...
And he Alone lived sadly ever after............
(no happy endings like in the movies....)
**The waters of my life
Roll forward and back
Sometimes the sadness comes
and then flows away
Back to the depths of my soul
Now as the sadness fills my eyes
My heart tightens
As I try and hold back
It seeps through every bone
and as I shudder and shake
I realize what I'm up against
and a tear falls down my cheek.
**Watching the beautiful
sticks of trees as they click and sway,
the first green unraveling,
it's easy to imagine I might
remember this day forever.
I say it to myself,
never to others, while the poem
made hoping to preserve it
is changed, then changed again
to fit another order
it happens to discover.
At the end I find myself
in a room by a window, or at the edge
of a field, with the same clear
sky above me wherein later
I will imagine clouds, as if
some movement were required. That,
or a different kind of stillness.
So there must also be
a family circled round
the bedside of someone
who is dying. I place
myself among them.
All of us are waiting
for the little we believe we need
to hold on to and repeat.
But this is not my family
although it is Love
who is dying, your accident
I am again unable to imagine
as everything continues
sliding together in the light,
that day so easily
changed to this one,
the sky that is so blue, and the clouds
that cross my gaze with such terrible speed.
beautiful