An unkind cut?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: An unkind cut?

Just like more religious types don't prefer nonhijabis, some of us girls don't prefer beards. Tit for tat.

I don't like beards. A lot of girls don't. It's a personal preference and don't tell me there are physical qualities of a woman you may not like. Same thing. Find someone that finds you attractive. Good luck.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: An unkind cut?

Btw, if tables were turned and this was about a woman being asked to put on a hijab, everyone would be scolding her for not pleasing her spouse... Or they'd say he has a right to ask for such a change.

[Ira]

Re: An unkind cut?

Hijab is a religious issue. There is no where in islam where it says its ok to take off your hijab because your husband says so.

Sorry off topic.

[gulab_jamun]

I've known rishtas who wanted hijabis to not be hijabis. That said- i don't understand why you're so hung over this- they want they want, and you want you want- you part ways right then and their...whether their view is right or wrong - is between them and Allah..No discussion needed.

So part ways- and find a girl who prefers a beard in likes of Isa as and Muhammad s!

[fat_spartan]

I know someone who was told that they expected him to shave his beard if they were to go through with the marriage. He refused and was able to find someone else.

[Muzna]

Re: An unkind cut?

this is personal preference.....no right or wrong about it.

they have asked....it's your choice to either comply or decline.

[Reha]

Re: An unkind cut?

It depends on the daari but I dont think I would be crazy about it. Its just a personal preference like guys have about beauty/education/height/etc. No big deal at all.

Decline if you are not interested in shaving it off. Simple.

Tension nahin lene kaa

[redvelvet]

@Faris_Udeen

Well we live in the 21st century but i was very annoyed yesterday.**

People will continue to have opinions in every century.
**

But after hearing the unkind remarks from my suppposed future brother in Law i was whipped into a frenzy.

Unless you agree to marry the girl, he’s not your future brother-in-law. He’s just another guy with an opinion. And even if he does end up being your brother-in-law, who cares what he think? You think HE would change HIS outward appearance if you had some objections? I don’t think so. Have you read the numerous threads here about how some Mother-in-law didn’t like what her daugther-in-law wore/said/did and VICE VERSA? You can’t please everybody. Look for compatibility with the potential partner…because that’s the person who should be accepting of you (more so than her brother).

Over the better part of the last decade i have kept a neatly trimmed Moustache and Beard. The first condition of the rishta was to get rid of it. Now i’m deeply religous but not to the point that i am say a techno-phobic mulla type… for crying out loud i work as an engineer!

What does profession (engineering or otherwise) have to do with beards/being a mullah/or religion overall? **As mentioned above, look for compatibility. Religious beliefs is a huge issue to consider when deciding upon marriage. IF this family’s views are incompatible with your own, simply say NO and move on. Getting upset about them is not going to change their opinion about you. Just look for someone who will be more accepting/compatible.
**
But it annoyed me that these valeeti type larkeeya wanted me to be clean shaven! I’m not sure how wide spread this feeling is among women here so i thought i would put it as a question.

I’m none too fond of beards. I don’t think that is enough to make me a “bad” Muslim. I’m not speaking on behalf of all women. You’ll find some that prefer facial hair and others that don’t. You’ll find guys who prefer hijab and those that don’t. People will always have preferences. Sorry, but you can’t change that.

Ladies at the end of the day does facial hair on men put you off? If so why…?

**It could turn off a woman for various reasons. She may not like the overall look of it. Maybe she thinks it gets in the way of his other facial features. Maybe she just doesn’t like the scruffy texture of it. Maybe she had a negative experience with a guy who sported a beard and now is turned off by beards. At the same time, you will also find some women who are attracted to beards. What you’re wondering is like asking why people don’t like a certain type of food. Different strokes for different folks. **

I have vowed not to let anyone touch my moustache but i just wanna know if this is backward… Where i live i have only just noticed i am the only daree walla… who isn’t a mulla

If you’re doing something for Allah, why are you so worried about whether it is “backward?” If that’s the case, then perhaps your conviction or reasons for keeping a beard are not strong enough. It’s the mullah stereotype that’s making you feel self-conscious isn’t it??? Otherwise, look at BRAD PITT. He has a beard…he’s the only celebrity sporting a grissly looking beard…and I don’t think he cares if someone thinks he’s “backward.” You got hired for your ability to handle the job…not your backwardness or forwardness.

It’s not like i have the Sihk type goatee either i think i look fine!

It seems to me that the Beard-baring Sikhs out there…who LOOK MORE like MULLAHS because of their turbans…have MORE confidence than YOU. They wear their turbans and beards day in and day out and don’t seem to care much what anyone else thinks. And many of them managed to marry someone who was accepting of this

Just want to know if this is just a UK ladies thing becuase i never heard of it back home.

**LOL! Tell me something. Have you talked to EVERY SINGLE FREAKING GIRL in PAKISTAN??? Did you conduct some poll that indicated EVERY single desi girl’s preference for facial hair? You think girls in Pak don’t have opinions and preferences? Just because you saw a handful of female cousins and other girls in Pak who were okay with marrying a guy with a beard doesn’t mean that ALL of them share the same views. Forget beards…girls in Pak and out of Pak will have opinions on height, weight, skin color, job, salary, what have you. **

You’re placing way too much importance on this girl. Why? Did you have a crush on her? Are you seriously romantically interested in her? If you never really had a romantic interest in her prior to this rishta meeting…and if this girl is like a STRANGER to you…don’t get so worked up over her opinions. It’s more upsetting if you actually had feelings for a particular person, but if that’s not the case…just move on.

[partyslims]

Re: An unkind cut?

Or, you could have fun with the situation and shave the beard, and then regrow it after baath pakhee lol.

J/K.. don't do that!

[mama_ki_dua]

Re: An unkind cut?

I wouldn't want my husband to have a dari or mooch. I guess most of the girls here prefer clean shave but then i'm talking about the people I know.

[NaMaan]

Mouch nahi ta Kuch nahi

Btw I have so many friends in army and they have mochain . It looks dashing . I think women assume that they will be irritating while kissing . Am I right ? But on the other hand its something extra to hold on to . Ins’t it .

[PyariCgudia]

Re: An unkind cut?

No one holds onto a mustache...

And I don't think anyone would want their mustache to be tugged or pulled on, because I could imagine that would hurt.

It is probably irritating when getting kissed. It is also unappealing by today's beauty standards. And like I said, nothing wrong with it. the OP probably has 10 preferences of his own about a woman's body, so why shouldn't women have preferences about a man's body?

His ego is hurt, that's all. I don't think he has any kind of affection for this girl in the first place.

[Shak]

Re: An unkind cut?

And I don’t think anyone would want their mustache to be tugged or pulled on, because I could imagine that would hurt.

[soni27]

Re: An unkind cut?

it depends..on some guys beard looks sexy(especially a light one..little longer than stubbly even)..but not the long long molvi dari..no not that one

[NaMaan]

Re: An unkind cut?

Come on … see it looks fine and cute

[media]http://simranbhatia.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/mustaches.jpg[/media]

[canadiandesigirl]

Re: An unkind cut?

Its a personal preference and not an east or west thing. I would not hold that against someone. Actually my sister got married recently and my brother-in-law has a trimmed beard and that was never something that crossed any of our minds.

[Lafanter]

Re: An unkind cut?

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, dont do it.

[snowy_winter]

Re: An unkind cut?

I am clean shaven and my wife says that she'd like it if I keep a beard :) Regardless of our personal preferences, beard is a sunnah and therefore I think we should be very careful in using harsh words about it.

[Deeba1234]

Or, you could have fun with the situation and shave the beard, and then regrow it after baath pakhee lol.

J/K.. don't do that!

Lol! :D

[tipusulatn]

@snowy_winter

I am clean shaven and my wife says that she'd like it if I keep a beard :) Regardless of our personal preferences, beard is a sunnah and therefore I think we should be very careful in using harsh words about it.

I agree with you.

One has right to accept or reject a Rishta on base of her preference but it is better not get into a using derogatory comment about something which is sunnah.

A polite rejection would be much better.