An Obedient Wife ..

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: An Obedient Wife ..

So where from a context of morality does it say that a woman has to look after husbands mom, why can't husbands look after the wife's family, I got my SIL out from pakistan on a refugee status, kept her at my place and got her established, I also helped many of her relatives as because of her they are as much my family too.

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Re: An Obedient Wife ..

^ yeah yeah and then you went to Kenia and build a few schools for the poor children. After that you went to save the whales in Japan. Then you went to Russia to protest for that attebtion seeking girls band. Uske badh you climbed the K2 with your family. And though you were tired you still went to Africa to save the zebras from the lions.

Stop making up these stories! Had you really been like you presented yourself as Shawns you would have shown class and dignity. You would not brag about all the good things you do and you would definitely not make a nick whom with you post nasty things.
The momnt you started to post as eliminator it was cheap, third class behavior and ditto language. Hateful and sleazy comments towards Pakistan and Pakistanis is all you can think of. You tried to keep up appearances as Shawns but you mixed up both your nicks and your lies became obvious.

Have some self respect or learn to be a better troll.

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Re: An Obedient Wife ..

Mr Raymond Davis attests that you are very Gherat Mund and full of self respect, 80 million battered women swear that you are at an averge heightn 5-3 are the toughest guys....lines outside the embassies tell how le pakstan u r,I am guilty I will confess I hate wife beaters.

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Re: An Obedient Wife ..

CHAYN is a website for abused Pakistani women

According to The United States Department of Justice, domestic violence is:

“a pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.”
Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of age and sex. It is not limited to physical abuse only; it can also be verbal, emotional, psychological, financial and sexual.
According to the Power and Control Wheel theory, domestic violence involves a range of behaviors which can include physical and sexual violence; using coercion , threats; intimidation; emotional abuse, isolation; minimizing, denying and blaming; using children; male privilege; and economic abuse. These forms of abuse do not occur in isolation from each other, but rather occur simultaneously.
Power and Control Wheel Theory

Laws for domestic violence vary by country. While domestic violence is a crime in many countries, in Pakistan it is not seen as a crime. The problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied in Pakistani culture because it is socially acceptable in Pakistani society. But whether or not there are laws to protect people from domestic violence, it is still an offense and as such it should be condemned.
Identifying abuse is the first step to getting help for yourself or someone you know. Even if at times it seems like no one can help you, there is some help available. Use this website to learn more about the options available.
Click here if you think someone else is suffering with domestic violence.
Am I In An Abusive Relationship?

Marriage is a happy union of love and should not be used to intimidate, threaten and to inflict physical or psychological harm to you. The best way to tell if you are in an abusive relationship is to ask yourself if you feel scared of your husband or his family.
Are you constantly thinking about what to say, how to say it and how to avoid angering your husband or your in-laws or your own family?
Abuse can often be instigated by the abuser (husband/parent/in-laws) trying to control some aspect of your life such as money, who you visit, when you go out, and then escalate to threats, verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
An abusive relationship and situation can destroy your self-esteem and sense of worth. This can lead to depression, anxiety and make you feel helpless and isolated. See the points below to see if you are in an abusive relationship. Please note that all points need not apply to your situation for it to be abusive. e.g. A relationship where your partners checks your mobile phone and stops you from meeting you friends is an abusive relationship even if he never raises a hand to you.
Do you…?

  • feel afraid of your husband much of the time?
  • avoid doing or talking about certain topics because you are afraid of making your husband angry?
  • feel that you can’t do anything right and meet the standards your husband or in-laws have set?
  • believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated and abused?
  • think that you’re the one who must be at fault all the time?
  • feel helpless or emotionally numb?
  • cry most days and nights?

Does your husband/in-laws…?

  • humiliate you by calling you names or scream at you?
  • criticize you constantly and make you feel down?
  • treat you so badly that you feel ashamed to talk about it to your family or friends?
  • ignore, belittle you for having opinions and put down your accomplishments (studies, work etc)?
  • blame you for making him act abusive towards you? e.g. ‘You provoked me!’
  • treat you as his property or sex object, rather than as an individual?
  • act excessively jealous and possessive even if you are talking to a male cousin, friend?
  • control where you go and what you do?
  • tell you to ask permission before leaving the house?
  • ask your mother-in-law to tell him if you call someone or try to leave the house?
  • keep you from seeing your friends or family?
  • force you to close down you Facebook account or delete friends from it?
  • take over your phone and read your messages?
  • limit your access to money, phone, or car?
  • demand to know all your passwords for all email accounts?
  • ask you to close your bank account?
  • force you to leave your job?
  • force you to discontinue your education?
  • curse you?
  • force you to have sex instead of asking you whether you want to have sex?
  • make frequent, harassing phone calls to you?
  • threaten that he will commit suicide if you leave? Your in-laws may be hinting you the same thing?
  • threaten you to do as he says or he will take your children away or harm them?
  • threaten you to do as he says or he will harm your family and friends?
  • hurt you, or say he will hurt or kill you? Slaps you? Kicks you? Pulls your hair? Pushes you?
  • have an unpredictable temper that scares you?

Why Is This Happening to Me?No one deserves to live through this pain. God, destiny or culture do not put you into an abusive relationship; families and husbands do. There is no reason why domestic violence exists in our society. It can be said that it’s a combination of factors such as attitudes towards gender and gender roles in society, the personality of the abuser, circumstances of the woman and the response of community to domestic violence. We do know, however, that domestic violence happens because of the desire of the abuser (whether it is your parents, husband, sibling or in-laws) to exert control and power over you.
Despite popular belief, abusers are not out of control. If they were truly incapable of controlling themselves or their ‘anger’, most abusers would not choose to hit women in places where other people cannot see them. They also wouldn’t try to maintain a good and normal relationship with your family so your family doesn’t believe you when you tell them how he treats you.
To get out of this situation, it is important to realise that your marriage is abusive and that there are ways to deal with this. While leaving the house/separating/filing for divorce is one way to get out of an abusive relationship, it is not the only one. There are many other ways; marriage and family counselling, getting psychological help for your abuser because he sure does need it, getting your and his family to talk to him about his behaviour, etc. If nothing else works, then stepping out of the relationship is the way to go.
Forms of AbuseEmotional & Verbal Abuse: The Scars of Emotional Abuse are Very Real, and they Run Deep.
Sexual Abuse: Your Husband Does Not Have the Right to Rape You.
Physical Abuse: It is Not Your Fault

Verbal abuse involves yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Emotional abuse involves isolation, intimidation, threats, religious blackmail, making you feel guilty and controlling behaviour.

Sexual abuse involves: unwanted kissing, touching, rough or violent sexual activity, rape or attempted rape, using sexual insults, pinching nipples, refusing to use condoms or restricting access to birth control.

Physical abuse involves: punching; slapping; hitting; biting; pinching; kicking; pulling hair out; pushing; shoving; burning and strangling.

It is comforting to think that only the obviously battered and assaulted women are the ones who experience domestic abuse. The reality is far from it: not all domestically violent relationships involve physical assault. However, almost all of them do have elements of emotional and verbal abuse which is no less abuse then physical assault. Abusers often get away with emotional and verbal abuse because it is not visible and even when it is, you or other people may attribute it to anger, bad mood, stress or just plain regret.
Abusers emotionally and verbally abuse you to destroy your self-worth and confidence, making you feel like you have to depend on him for everything. You may feel like there is no way out and that you could do nothing without him. This is not the case. Use this website to inform yourself and if possible, find a way out.

It is not your duty as a wife to have sex with your husband or allow your husband to have sex with you when you don’t want to. Any situation that makes you uncomfortable or sexually degraded is a form of sexual abuse. You have every right to say no at any point of the intercourse and in a healthy relationship, your partner would stop because they would not want to make you feel uncomfortable. Research has shown that women who experience physical and sexual violence by their husbands are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or even killed. Click here to read more about sexual health and contraception.

You may have been told by your partner, his family, friends or in-laws how your husband’s behaviour is a spur of the moment (‘I can’t control it!’; ‘It’s just his temper talking!’). This is far from truth. If you think about the various kinds of situations you find yourself in, you may find instances of where your husband changes his behaviour to suit himself:

  • not hitting you where people can see it
  • behaving politely in front of your family so they don’t believe what you say
    Every religion is against physical violence. Nobody has the right to hurt you. You are not your husband’s property and he DOES NOT own you. You do not deserve to be hurt. Abusers want total control over you. Do not give it to them.
    Please seek medical help if you are hurt. Click here to read more about it.

Financial Abuse

It is often the most overlooked form of abuse, yet it can make you feel helpless and isolated.

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Re: An Obedient Wife ..

..... does not exist in 21st century.

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Re: An Obedient Wife ..

:)