Re: An Obedient Wife ..
In my opinion the most important role in such scenarios is that of a husband . He needs to create a balance and he should know what he should ignore and what he should acknowledge . Any woman comes in a new family only for her husband and it's his duty to protect her , help her and care for her. The worse a husband can do is to becomes a party with his sis and mom against his own wife.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
**So as per Islamic teachings a wife is to give utmost obedience to her husband. **While a husband has been asked to look after the wife and be as caring and loving as possible.
In an ideal scenario that is what helps a relationship a lot. But given the desi mindset , where mothers and sisters of men start using them to control the bhabi / DIL , how much of obedience would you give to the husband, to manage the situation?
You have been either living too long or from too little age in to a western country.
There is no such thing that a wife is to give utmost obedience to her husband.
**
**There is no definition of utmost obedience which anyone of us could agree on either.
Your thread is based on something which is misunderstood.
For the second sentence: BOTH husbands and wives are EXPECTED to look after each other and.......
Unlike other societies, Islam never ASKS so called love in between two spouses. Very very delicate point here.
Islam builds the basic background so both spouses love each other but never ASKS (as if forces) them to love each others.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
Totally agree with this. Its so not easy to do though...and no guarantee that the opposing party will even appreciate your sacrifices.
At the end of the day, I believe a woman needs to be strong and independent. That is the only way she can be respected and taken seriously. Be good to your husband...but in order for him to be good to you...he needs to know that you won't die without him.
I say this because I know women who have become completely selfless but have gotten nothing in return.
I couldn't agree more.
There's no need for a door-mat/pleaser attitude. It has to go. And as someone else mentioned you've to balance everything in any relationship. Probably the husband should be more careful about his actions/words in the beginning and the wife needs to pick her battles. I know we keep saying this here over and over but it's so important. If you're going to nag and complain about anything and everything, chances are he's not listening anymore. Heck I know from my own experience if I'm working with someone who's just going on and on, at some point I'm just not listening anymore to their crap. So pick your battles and think two steps ahead all the time. This goes for them both. And if you must complain about something then do it in a respectable manner. My best advice is to never start a sentence with *"your mother/sister/father/brother did this or that...."*because in most cases this just makes the other person ready to defend anything. Instead the focus should be on the actions/words which you didn't like and not the person. I know it's all very easy for me to say but marriage is hard work and if you're thinking it's going to go your way all the time - because you can pull out enough references from the Quran and Hadith to support your arguments - you're only fooling yourself.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
Just an observation in my somewhat limited experiences, I have seen many a desi men married to white girls and they seem to be showing more obedience than a lap dog to their Gori handlers, and right after they are sucked dry and kicked to the curb by them, they go looking for an obedient desi girl. It is a flawed mindset and unfortunately many brown parents condition their daughters to accept injustice, for the provider bit the home makers contribute tremendously by looking after the house and children, on my days off when N went o work and I had to look after cooking and cleaning and kids I found it 10 times harder to do the house work as compared to sitting in the office pushing paper around. People will oppress you only if you allow it, it is the bully mentality they prey on the weak. A man that abuses a girl is not a real man anyways so don't worry about obedience to him. If Hilary becomes the next president who will she need to be obedient to.
Any dads here raising daughters teach your daughters how to kick really hard in the nuts if someone demands obedience. I expect my boys to be kicked in the nuts if they treat a girl disrespectfully
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
I think people confuse respect and obedience. Respecting someone does not imply you obey them all the time. I believe it's a wife's duty to point out hubby's mistakes instead of blindly following along (and vice versa, of course!).
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
Any dads here raising daughters teach your daughters how to kick really hard in the nuts
Do the girls ever ask their mom "Mommy, mommy, why does daddy keep asking us to kick him in the nuts?". Mommy will have a hard time explaining their daddy's perverted fetish.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
Do the girls ever ask their mom "Mommy, mommy, why does daddy keep asking us to kick him in the nuts?". Mommy will have a hard time explaining their daddy's perverted fetish.
I am very aware of your preferences and one day you will find love, I hear Pakistan has cell phone apps for that now..with a name like Pigeon who would have thought so..hmmm
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Re: An Obedient Wife ..
^ I don't get what this means.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
^ split personality. Shawns is the perfect one and eliminator is the enfant terrible who makes no sense.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
^True I did live a terrible life and then the responsibility of being a dad had to decide to change and use that energy and strength to help and not to hurt. As for the post above I have enough exposure to know that men overly mean to girls have identity issues with their sexuality, healthy men like girls and you don't hurt someone you like.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
Are asians, the ones with cheeni eyes, also obedient? I heard people prefer asian wives for that reason.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
[quote="Sasha21"]
^ I don't get what this means./QUOTE
Some gay people are known to have misogynistic tendencies
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
^True I did live a terrible life and then the responsibility of being a dad had to decide to change and use that energy and strength to help and not to hurt. As for the post above I have enough exposure to know that men overly mean to girls have identity issues with their sexuality, healthy men like girls and you don't hurt someone you like.
But part of shawns still haunts him. Unbeknownst to shawns, his split personality Eliminator is a personification of his past life. While shawns sleeps, Eliminator is frequenting the gay joints of Nunavut, reliving the horrors of shawns' past. In a state of constant conflict, both his split personas log in to GS to chronicle their lives, and occasionally like each others posts. As we watch the story unfold on GS we see Eliminator turn into shawns, a loving husband with a fetish for getting kicked in the family jewels.
Stay tuned for the final plot twist where a middle aged desi woman finds out that both shawns and Eliminator were a figment of her imagination, that she had conjured up to cope with the contempt she has for Pakistani men and Islam.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
But part of shawns still haunts him. Unbeknownst to shawns, his split personality Eliminator is a personification of his past life. While shawns sleeps, Eliminator is frequenting the gay joints of Nunavut, reliving the horrors of shawns' past. In a state of constant conflict, both his split personas log in to GS to chronicle their lives, and occasionally like each others posts. As we watch the story unfold on GS we see Eliminator turn into shawns, a loving husband with a fetish for getting kicked in the family jewels.
Stay tuned for the final plot twist where a middle aged desi woman finds out that both shawns and Eliminator were a figment of her imagination, that she had conjured up to cope with the contempt she has for Pakistani men and Islam.
I will still pray for you sweet little Pigeon honey, with a flaming name like PIGEON you are calling other people gay, It was big news here that Pakistan was dubbed the gay porn capital of the world with tons of phone apps for gay people to meet...what man calls themselves pigeon....seriously..YUCK!!!! P.S the only way u would be interested in a desi middle aged woman is if she strapped something on. PS I have nothing against gay lifestyle I just encourage the closet flamers to stop the confusion and step out of the closet..Pigeon honey..sweetie
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
^ Pakistan is the gay porn capital of the world? LMAO where did you get that from? Did you just pull another one out of your arse?
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
^^^ Guys - you to are ruining the thread. This topic is about the concept of obedience in a marriage and how external family members can influence it. Go take your little spat elsewhere.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
too funny 
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
^^^ Guys - you to are ruining the thread. This topic is about the concept of obedience in a marriage and how external family members can influence it. Go take your little spat elsewhere.
Agreed
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
Just an observation in my somewhat limited experiences, I have seen many a desi men married to white girls and they seem to be showing more obedience than a lap dog to their Gori handlers, and right after they are sucked dry and kicked to the curb by them, they go looking for an obedient desi girl.
So theyre being cautious the second time. You know, kinda like how a woman's first choice turns out to be a jerk and dead beat so she chooses a vastly different type of guy the second time who's good with raising another man's kids.
[QUOTE]
Any dads here raising daughters teach your daughters how to kick really hard in the nuts if someone demands obedience. I expect my boys to be kicked in the nuts if they treat a girl disrespectfully
[/QUOTE]
Dont forget to teach your boys to kick the woman in her groin if she (just like the gori handlers you described above) demands him to show obedience and be her lapdog. No? Doesnt apply in the reverse order?
[QUOTE]
many brown parents condition their daughters to accept injustice, for the provider bit the home makers contribute tremendously by looking after the house and children, on my days off when N went o work and I had to look after cooking and cleaning and kids** I found it 10 times harder to do the house work** as compared to sitting in the office pushing paper around.
[/QUOTE]
Which is why, in the west, men who desire to be a stay-at-home dads get way more marriage proposals than succesful workaholic type men.
Re: An Obedient Wife ..
So theyre being cautious the second time. You know, kinda like how a woman's first choice turns out to be a jerk and dead beat so she chooses a vastly different type of guy the second time who's good with raising another man's kids.
Dont forget to teach your boys to kick the woman in her groin if she (just like the gori handlers you described above) demands him to show obedience and be her lapdog. No? Doesnt apply in the reverse order?
Which is why, in the west, men who desire to be a stay-at-home dads get way more marriage proposals than succesful workaholic type men.
I think if you help out a lot at home your honey makes you a very happy man, you don't have to b a stay a home dad, most couples have to work.