My younger sister’s engagement,who is 20, has been done with one of our relatives.The guy is good-looking and all,though not much educated.She has seemed to be okay with it all.But,recently,i figured out that,she and a guy like/love each other.This guy is a brother of one of our school friends.She has been secretly talking and sending him SMSs for over a year.This guy seems to be nice,and decent.But the thing which is making me get mad is that,she has hidden it from me for so long.And moreover,i feel she shouldn’t have started all this with him since she knew she is already engaged with the other guy.Now she tells me that she doesn’t like her fiance and doesn’t want to marry him 
Moreover,now when i tell/ask her anything,she doesn’t seem to bother at all and keeps on keeping in touch with him.Now she even tells me that,its her life so i better mind my own business.What should i do? 
My parents aren’t aware of it.If they learn about it,then things would get extremely bad at our home.What you guys advice,what should I do in this case?I feel being an elder sister,it’s a responsibility of mine to stop her if i feel she is doing something wrong.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
She needs to tell your parents and end the engagement. This behavior is completely unfair toward her fiancé.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
She is ignoring the third person involved her love triangle...her fiance.
She has every right to make her own choices and marry the person she desires.
She doesnt have the right to drag an innocent soul into the middle.
I would speak to her directly and give her an ultimatum. You are her elder sister, not an outsider.
Its your business as well as responsibility to set her straight.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Woow. . . Well that's a mess.
"Now she even tells me that,its her life so i better mind my own business.What should i do?"
Well if she were my sis I would definitely start with a slap.
- Girl grow up! Your family IS your life! Just by knowing him for a year doesn't make him more important than your family.
Eik na eik din kuch na kuch tho kharna phare gha. And it's best to tell your parents about it now even though you're scared just by thinking about their reaction.
Because if she is serious about the relationship with the SMS guy your family needs to break the engagement.
Ofcourse ghar mein hangama ho gha. But SHE needs to grow up and clean the mess after HERSELF by confronting it with the family.
And if she is not willing to tell your parents, then you need to step up as an adult and tell your parents about it. Yeah she will get pi**ed off, and she wont talk to you but so what?
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Talk to her, try yr best again to put sense in her. IF that doesnt work then you have no choice but to break the ugly news to yr parents and have them deal with her.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Before she runs away with this newguy, go tell your parents first. They might have a better solution other than forcing your sister to marry her fiance. It's not just her personal matter, It's a family matter, and a family needs to sit together and come up with something.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Tell sms guy to back off or u ll let his parents know :ASA:
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Why force her into a marriage she doesn't want to and that relative guy can probably find who is sincere to him. So, why ruin two lives? Tell your parents and convince them to break this engagement.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Talk to her and ask her if she knows what shes doing..if she realizes what mess she's getting into and who she'll end up hurting. Whatever advice you do take do it quickly because it won't be fair on the other family!
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
If she likes someone else now and not her fiancée, then it would be logical to break the engagment if she's that serious with her new friend. Her fiancée doesn't deserve this.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Tell your parents ASAP. If they come to know later that you knew of it and kept quite, you may be in trouble as well.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
send the sms guy her engagement pic
send her fiancee her txt msg/s with third guy
let ur mom n dad know
only then she'll know how to respect her elder sister.
P.S: ok advice 1 n 2 are j/k, try #3.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
or tell her fiance to stay away from her as she is NOT good enough for him
Re: An issue regarding my sister…
best tell her fiance and your parents !
girls !!
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
ask her politelty to tell her parents .. .. .. she is playing with "the guy" and her "fiance" ..
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
She is ignoring the third person involved her love triangle...her fiance.
She has every right to make her own choices and marry the person she desires.
She doesnt have the right to drag an innocent soul into the middle.
I would speak to her directly and give her an ultimatum. You are her elder sister, not an outsider.
Its your business as well as responsibility to set her straight.
Agree..
I would try and get her to own up and deal with the situation herself rather than the OP going straight to the parents incase they panic and try and get little sis married off asap or hit her or something.. Unfortunately some parents can panic when they hear stuff like this and don't always behave in a measured or reasonable way.. Tell her she has to make a choice and stick to it, not play games and string her fiance along if she doesn't really want him.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Agree..
I would try and get her to own up and deal with the situation herself rather than the OP going straight to the parents incase they panic and try and get little sis married off asap or hit her or something.. Unfortunately some parents can panic when they hear stuff like this and don't always behave in a measured or reasonable way.. Tell her she has to make a choice and stick to it, not play games and string her fiance along if she doesn't really want him.
Exactly. Most people are forgetting these are Paki/brown parents we're talking about here. If you go straight to your parents and tell them she's playing games with her fiancée, it is almost certain they'll freak out and start thinking their izat is in jeopardy.
Then they'll go and confront your younger sister in a not so pleasant manner. Depending on the outcome, they'll either become much more strict with her and take away some of her freedom, such as going out with friends or even having a cell phone, or they'll force her to get married much sooner. If she rejects that, they might resort to more violent means to get her to comply.
Whatever they decide, your sister will lose trust in you and you will regret it later. What you should do is go on and have a serious talk with her. Tell her to make up her mind and let her know of the consequenes if she decides to carry on her relationship with her other friend.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
^ baat kerna ka tareeqa hota hai. if conveyed in right manner parents might not like the situation but would panic less rather than they find out near wedding time.
there is a possibility that the sister is just flirting with this third guy and there relation is not that serious where they wanna marry each other so thats y she's taking the whole thing lightly.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Ask both guys to meet and fight a duel. :)
Agree with posters above.
She does not have to marry the guy she is engaged to. Not sure if she is really serious with sms guy though.
Maybe she is just playing with him and still plan to marry the guy she is engaged to. No where it says she does not like his fiance.
Parents one way or other need to know. If she says she is serious with sms guy and has no intention to marry the relative.
Re: An issue regarding my sister...
Exactly. Most people are forgetting these are Paki/brown parents we're talking about here. If you go straight to your parents and tell them she's playing games with her fiancée, it is almost certain they'll freak out and start thinking their izat is in jeopardy.
Their izzat IS in jeopardy. their daughter is being dishonest and playing with the feelings of at least one man and his family. They should be upset. Maybe she doesn't mean o be hurtful, but that's no excuse. Many 20yo don't understand the meaning of committing oneself to aother, but then they shouldn't be rushed into marriage.
Regardless, the OP should talk to the sis and tell her to talk to the parents and/or break off the engagement herself.