Its your business as well as responsibility to set her straight.
How exactly!?
I guess she herself isn't sure what she wants.There's no way she says she doesn't like her fiance and sometimes she is all okay about him and sometimes she says she will not marry him.Though now she says she has made up her mind and wouldn't marry her fiance.But now she isn't bothered about anything i tell her,and being an elder sister,it doesn't make me feel good to get such behaviour from her in response to all that i say.Sometimes i feel i should just leave her alone and not bother about anything she does, so that she herself will realize what she is trying to put herself into.
^ baat kerna ka tareeqa hota hai. if conveyed in right manner parents might not like the situation but would panic less rather than they find out near wedding time.
there is a possibility that the sister is just flirting with this third guy and there relation is not that serious where they wanna marry each other so thats y she's taking the whole thing lightly.
That's definitely true, but sometimes it is what it is. For this type of thing, you can't sugar it up, they're going to take it hard anyway you throw it at them.
Also, I'm not saying they shouldn't know, they have every right to know, they're her parents. But she should talk to her sister first, and not necessarily set her straight because it is her life and she should be able to choose who she wants to spend it with.
Gentle subtle messages works much better than full frontal confrontation. Tell her gently in just passing manner how these things can ruin her life - you are her sister so try the idea that will work better on her - so use religion / logic / examples / epathy .... whatever "clicks" to her. Keep it nice n gentle - that will make her think and realize in her own time.
How exactly!?
I guess she herself isn't sure what she wants.There's no way she says she doesn't like her fiance and sometimes she is all okay about him and sometimes she says she will not marry him.Though now she says she has made up her mind and wouldn't marry her fiance.But now she isn't bothered about anything i tell her,and being an elder sister,it doesn't make me feel good to get such behaviour from her in response to all that i say.Sometimes i feel i should just leave her alone and not bother about anything she does, so that she herself will realize what she is trying to put herself into.
that's not appropriate behavior for someone who is engaged to be married, someone who has made a promise. she needs to be honest about her feelings. i feel sorry for her fiance.
someone needs to knock sense into your sister....its not that she got engaged against her marzi
you tried to talk to her but it didnt work, simply go tell your parents & they will handle it however they want
you dont need to take all the strain as you have elders above you to deal with it
as for the ones who are saying the girl has a right to her life ...well yes she has but its not a joke
she got engaged with her marzi, now she is flirting with someone else, tomorrow if she finds someone else, will her parents keep on changing her fiance 'coz the girl has a right to her life!!!
the sister got engaged b/c the parents sort of did it on their own and she had no choice but to agree so she accepted it. After a while, she beets her current guy. She isn't playing games, she just never probably liked her fiancé to begin with. Just end the engagement and get her engaged w/ SMS-dude.
II would say tell her to decide if she is een ready to commit to anyone? End the engagement to fiancee, and give her time. Do not rush into any new engagement etc.
the sister got engaged b/c the parents sort of did it on their own and she had no choice but to agree so she accepted it. After a while, she beets her current guy. She isn't playing games, she just never probably liked her fiancé to begin with. Just end the engagement and get her engaged w/ SMS-dude.
But she has never objected anything against her fiance.She still doesn't say anything.She is perhaps thinking the other guy's family would come with the proposal and things would happen this way and our parents would come around....
And what's the reason for you still not telling your parents about this circus that is going on in front of you?
She don't want to confront them, and therefore waiting for the SMS guy to come, WITH his parents, well knowing that she is engaged to someone else? Are you kidding me?! Start showing your parents some respect!!
Get me some popcorns people! There will be some freaking drama in that house!
Seriously, what would she tell her parents at that time? (2 hours before the SMS guys & Co. arrival to your house):
"Mum . . . . Dad. . . . awkward silence There is this guy. . .. SLAP"
- She wont even be able to finish her sentence. Cos' here comes mummies flying kick!
To the serious point:
I repeat: How is it possible for you still being all quiet about it? You gave her every single chance to confront them by her own. But she is obviously using your silence for her own benefit. I still don't get it!! A big sister who's well-aware about all this happening and is still not taking the initiative to confront the poor parents?
I would gather them (parents and your sister) in the living room, turn the TV off, and say: "Mum and dad, X want's to tell you something". Phir toh woh apna moon zaruur khole ghi! And if she refuses to talk, then you need to tell them about this SMS guy. But prepare yourself for how you want it to be said, so it doesn't comes out as bomb blast.
If you cannot do that, then AAAALL is wellll!:p
^ Well, the fact is,our parents especially our dad is very strict and has very strict behaviours, so i fear that once they come to know about this,things would take a turn for worse for all of us.This is what making me stop to say anything to my parents.
^talk to ur mom first...if u directly dnt want ur dad 2 knw abt it..gently n kindly u both cn explain thngs 2 the little sister....n b kind to her..i hav som1 v close one who got spoiled n got her self into a secret marriage bcs her parents were v harsh n stubborn at handling her..as a matter of fact wen elders try 2 explain thngs to young ones,,,younger ones thnk tht we r thr enemies..so u need 2 show ur sister tht ur da most loyal person 2 her..b kind at explaining thngs 2 her..gud luck