Independence is won by smart political leadership, and maintained by strong and disciplined army.
Sadly! In case of Kashmir both are absent. As a result Kashmiris will continue to be "managed" by others.
Being a state within the Indian Union there are specific lists of areas for wha aspects are governed by the state and what parts by the central government. This is not called 'managed' by others, simply the way we are organized.
On the topic of independence, beyond leadership and force that you mention, a movement also needs a just cause. That is absent here. It is simply the fanning of trouble by Pakistan that keeps the call for independence breathing.