i hate generalizations... god y cant ppl understand there is GOOD AND BAD EVERYWHERE!! And may i just add 'sluty' girls in pakistan are no less then girls from here.. its just they know how to act better... maybe we shud become more conniving on the other hand there are also shareef girls in pak too
That is why MEN, DONT generalize!
Well said. There are some "fast" American-born desi girls and there are loose Pakistani-born/bred girls. And there conservative/shareef girls from both communities as well, as well as gori-girls who are more modest than some desi girls. You can't stereotype people.
It has less to do with WHERE someone was raised and more to do with how they were raised and what influences molded there values.
u can thank the real 'pakistani sluts' for this stereotype. it seems that if one paki girl in the community goes astray then the ppl start thinking that ALL of the girls in the community are blemished......blv me, being born and 100% raised here in AMerica i've been of victim of this stereotype on several occasions thanks to some immature/misguided/wild child girl who had no morals... its not fun to be so unfairly judged.
Well now, hold on a sec--
has the definition of a "slut" changed?
today it's easy to say if a girl dresses like one, talks like one etc...
but a few years ago, was it if a girl was getting higher education? if she was going on trips by herself? if she was working and living alone? etc.
Well! I'd like to ask why do guys compare women based on where they were born and raised? Why this stereotyping?
Each individual is born with a certain level of intelligence (which we have no control over) so you can't really say oh, Pakistani women are less intelligent cuz they were born there.
Also, each family is different in their ideology and thinking. So you get moulded depending on the education and upbringing you receive, depending on the FAMILY. This applies to both men and women.
Please view women as individuals and not as American or Pakistani or Turkish or whatever....... we're individuals, we're all DIFFERENT.
Just for clarification when I say American born are intellectually better I mean it's easy to have a like minded conversation with them than say someone who lived all her life in Karachi. I am sure Pakistani born would fine me intellectualy inferior in some aspects. lol. Also, another big plus is that her mind will not be wandering worrying about her parents back home and shopping for the annual pilgrimage to Pakistan.
Just for clarification when I say American born are intellectually better I mean it's easy to have a like minded conversation with them than say someone who lived all her life in Karachi. I am sure Pakistani born would fine me intellectualy inferior in some aspects. lol. Also, another big plus is that her mind will not be wandering worrying about her parents back home and shopping for the annual pilgrimage to Pakistan.
you are finding them like-minded because you share the same experiences growing up/schooling in the west, not based on intelligence and vice versa for those in pakistan.
Ok .... another perspective.... Has anyone realized that a lot of men might not marry American born girls as they want 'homemakers'..... they want dependent wives..... they want someone to have their babies .... cook them fresh food every day and take care of all their needs........ They don't want 'financially' independent women. What I hate is that they don't come outright and say it..... why the hypocricy!!
I also see a lot of goris (white chicks as PCG called them) who are perfectly happy in the role of 'homemakers' and they don't think its opression... they're perfectly happy in that role.
MIAinVA, you are generalizing too. I know of many American born girls who would not want to have work careers but rather take the most challenging career of all - the home-maker and I respect that. But in today's world who needs a wife to clean, cook and iron clothes? A woman can have a work career if she likes and also raise children. In that case the husband has to be equally involved and supportive. That is why I say it is not easy to want independent career oriented partners. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Actually its a good point and somewhat the situation inmy family. I never think of myself as "dependent" though. I work as hard - or harder than my hubby - around the clock and no time off lol! Yet, if the need arose I would return to the workforce and be able to earn a very decent living for myself and my family. We are a team - not a master and slave, and we are both doing what we want to do. And my hubby is very happy knowing that if anything should ever happen to him,that I would be able to provide nicely - without having to resort to finding another man to support us.
today it's easy to say if a girl dresses like one, talks like one etc...
but a few years ago, was it if a girl was getting higher education? if she was going on trips by herself? if she was working and living alone? etc.
actually, u can take it both ways. some ppl are happy and proud to see girls " getting higher education, going on trips by herself, and working and living alone" as you put it and on the other hand some ppl are just appalled and shocked to see girls acting in such a way and think they are slutty/bad/vulgar/etc etc
i agree with the overall consensus in this thread, that there are good and bad ppl everywhere...we get nowhere by pointing fingers to a certain culture or country or by generalizing. i've seen horribly slutty girls both back in PK and here in America. by looking at their lifestyle u couldnt tell which country they are from or raised...
MIAinVA, you are generalizing too. I know of many American born girls who would not want to have work careers but rather take the most challenging career of all - the home-maker and I respect that. But in today's world who needs a wife to clean, cook and iron clothes? A woman can have a work career if she likes and also raise children. In that case the husband has to be equally involved and supportive. That is why I say it is not easy to want independent career oriented partners. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Actually I'm saying thats the perception men and their families have about American born Pakistani girls.... that they wouldn't want to stay home, which is wrong. They should ask and find out..... instead of starting a 'wife-hunt' back home through relatives..... there's too much stereotyping.
Actually its a good point and somewhat the situation inmy family. I never think of myself as "dependent" though. I work as hard - or harder than my hubby - around the clock and no time off lol! Yet, if the need arose I would return to the workforce and be able to earn a very decent living for myself and my family. We are a team - not a master and slave, and we are both doing what we want to do. And my hubby is very happy knowing that if anything should ever happen to him,that I would be able to provide nicely - without having to resort to finding another man to support us.
Thats lovely, MashaAllah :) Thats how it should be.
And yes, I agree that wives as 'homemakers' work just as hard, in fact harder than the husbands..... especially with children... its a tough job. I know I would probably go insane if I stayed home with my toddler (without any other help during the day) for a month....... kids totally wear you out.
it was sad to see such good desi guys going to waste.
Geez, y'all, why the hate? I didn't realize that people marrying outside their ethnicity qualified as them 'going to waste.'
If anyone's curious, I think most of the boys in my husband's family will marry from back home. But it doesn't really have anything to do with them not liking American-born Pakistani girls, in fact I think some of the single guys might actually have that preference. The problem is more just that the aunties don't feel that they know enough people here and are still very socially tied to their circles back in Pakistan, so I think they regard it as easier.
I think it's sad that all women get stuck under the microscope to such an extent---Pakistani-born, American-born, gori, etc. There do seem to be a lot of preconceived notions and I do wish people would get out a little more and get to know people from a different background. I can't even imagine what my life would be like now if I had never made any attempt to know anyone outside my own family, culture, and small town. People need to confront their fears about others and realize how flimsy they are instead of nursing them their whole lives.
Have you heard of love? Maybe they are falling in love with these ladies. Personally I know 2 families here where the Pakistani men have married American girls and they have fantastic marriages. One of them even lives with the in laws and they get along great. The children are being raised beautifully, and the girl even speaks Urdu. What an effort she has made it fit in.
I sympathize with the american born desi girl. This is a nasty stereotype.
However I'm a math kinda guy, so everything else equal, the probability of an american born desi girl to be "loose" is way higher than a pakistani born & raised. Just saying, it's the numbers.
I sympathize with the american born desi girl. This is a nasty stereotype.
However I'm a math kinda guy, so everything else equal, the probability of an american born desi girl to be "loose" is way higher than a pakistani born & raised. Just saying, it's the numbers.
I disagree completely. According to the numbers Ive seen, its not the US born and raised that are "loose"...............
okay what i don't understand is where do anyone of you get the "numbers" from?? Unless if there are proper stats, there is no legitimacy behind this thread.
