Reading a book written by a Gujrati Memon. He mentioned that there are some peculiar types of traditions followed in community related to spending money on others.
So a Memon married outside community (which is a rare exception). After sometime, the bride went for shopping with MIL, DILs , etc . They had chaat at market which was paid by the bride. When the came back home, every lady paid the bride for the plate of chaat they had at market. Bride was totally surprised.
During college days, we used to have lunch together. First, the group was small 2-3 persons, so sometimes person A used to pay the bill and next time person B. when group grew larger, I heard someone saying ‘aaj American system se khate hain’. I didn’t know what does that mean. Later knew that it refers to equal contribution per head.
So which style do you follow? Memoni or American (They seems quite similar BTW).
Well when FOBies like me arrive first time here - they appear quite foolish by asking people around them to offer their foods. Here in England - people at colleges, universities, office hardly ask the people around to have their food.
In America, when you go out for lunch/dinner with work colleagues, everyone pays for themselves and their is no sharing from each other's plates.
When I go out with my friends, if we are at a place where we know there are big portions, (because everything is big here lol) then usually I'll decide to split an entree with a friend and we'll each pay half when the bill comes. Waiters and restaurants here are very accommodating in splitting up and dividing the bill according to who ordered what
In America, when you go out for lunch/dinner with work colleagues, everyone pays for themselves and their is no sharing from each other's plates.
When I go out with my friends, if we are at a place where we know there are big portions, (because everything is big here lol) then usually I'll decide to split an entree with a friend and we'll each pay half when the bill comes. Waiters and restaurants here are very accommodating in splitting up and dividing the bill according to who ordered what
just a query. Do they give you gravy in American restaurant.
gravy/ graby is extra portion of food, when you finished the plate, but still have some roti / bread unfinished.
The simple reason behind not sharing things in the west (or here in UK) is that every person who is above is has got his/her earnings (either they are employed or they get Job-seeker allowance). So its customary here that kids when they turn 18, they leave their parents house and go into employment or go for higher studies to a University where they get a long term loan which they start paying back when they move to employment!
No hard and fast rule. There is a plate for 2 lunch. I don't like that item but was coaxed into teaming up with another colleague.
When friends or friendses (per Ramaswamay, > 2 is friendses) to for dinner etc, it is customary for one party to treat the other. We order courses and share them. Memom, Memon, Menon and Amreekis alike.
No hard and fast rule. There is a plate for 2 lunch. I don't like that item but was coaxed into teaming up with another colleague.
When friends or friendses (per Ramaswamay, > 2 is friendses) to for dinner etc, it is customary for one party to treat the other. We order courses and share them. Memom, Memon, Menon and Amreekis alike.
OP - I assume bride is Memom in the OP?
groom was Memon, bride was not Memon. Thats why she was surprised when MIL/ DILs reimbursed her for plat of chaat :)
groom was Memon, bride was not Memon. Thats why she was surprised when MIL/ DILs reimbursed her for plat of chaat :)
Acha. Now this reconciles with ur last statement in OP - that Memon and Amreeki system is same to same. I was scratching my head - cause earlier I couldn't find anything that shone a light on who was Memon - bride or ILs
The simple reason behind not sharing things in the west (or here in UK) is that every person who is above is has got his/her earnings (either they are employed or they get Job-seeker allowance). So its customary here that kids when they turn 18, they leave their parents house and go into employment or go for higher studies to a University where they get a long term loan which they start paying back when they move to employment!
Joint family system in Memons is also affected due to this living on their own, except that they don't compel their 18 years old to live separately. After marriage, most of them live separately.
We've always divided our bill equally. Only time one person is burdened is if they're giving a treat or something. After we have our food there's always one person collecting money, berating those with cards, giving back change, going crazy over the calculator. I have no idea why it's always slightly chaotic.
