American Pakistani, and I want to marry my 1st Cousin in Pakistan...OMG

[multani86]

Re: American Pakistani, and I want to marry my 1st Cousin in Pakistan…OMG

@Mezhgan

I would hate to sound harsh but I think this is karma (for lack of a better word). In your post, the impression I get (which I admit, may be wrong, so correct me if this is the case) is that you look down on the random girls you’ve slept with (“fu**** sluts”) because since they slept with you, you assume they must have slept with loads of other guys. Given that you told your cousin about all of your escapades and that you’re not a virgin, it’s quite likely that she looks down on you in the same manner and that is probably the reason why she is stalling. The fact the you so easily declared your love for her so quickly, probably makes her think that since you did that with her, you’re probably doing that with other girls (since, afterall, she is not there with you now). At this point, I think the reason she is stalling and stating that she will eventually marry you but not yet is that she is simply biding her time. She thinks she can do better and is waiting to see if she can get can someone better and is just using you as a backup in the case that nothing better comes along.

The reason I think this is the case is that you stated that she was naive, immature, and rather sheltered. In my experience, I’ve noticed that girls like this tend to have rather unrealistic expectations of men and are expecting the typical, bollywood-esque prince charming who is perfect, has never had any previous relationships and has never even thought of other girls. Given that you told her about your past, she knows that is not the case with you. Although people have mentioned that your cousin isn’t as innocent as she seems because she was willing to make out with you (in Pakistan), I highly doubt it’s gone further than that (even with other guys).

I don’t look down on random girls I have slept with…or any girl I have slept with. the whole “****in’ sluts” thing was more for literary effect… you know its kind of tonal shift… i’m no saint either…if I call them sluts…it makes me a male slut/man whore whatever… but in that specific paragraph it was for the contrast of her being quote unqoute a virgin, where as in my mind upon hearing that…i felt like you know…a bit sleazy… it’s certainly for effect.

I agree, that by me “coming clean” and being sincere, I lost points in her perspective of me.

And DIG DING DING DING!!! Mezhgan, you are right on the MONEY… if oil was gold…you’d be a trillionaire…

My family has said the same thing… that they are fishing for other options…and that probably see me as a backup…if things don’t pan out…or she can’t find anyone else… then here is the lovely chump <— (Me).

And yes… another fact you are right on… I’m certainly a journeyman in my career… she has been known to have a fixation with the Pakistani “Elite society” – and thinks she can marry into it…

Honestly, she’s not hard on the eyes… but realistically I don’t think she’s THAT good looking to marry into money…but then again…looks are only a part…she definitely could flirt her way there. She does want that “Mr. Perfect” guy… and this bollywood love stories / music / entertainment is definitely messing up with the youth.

But hollywood is no different.

I could have said anything to her… i could have lied… however lying isn’t in my nature… Immanuel Kant…and categorical imperative.. I would rather tell the truth and cause someone pain, than to lie about it. Lying is just immoral…