I dont know if you're here seeking advice or here seeking knowledge about pakistani men in general....you havent really asked for advice, nor said anything like "gee, I'll have to try THAT" so its kind of unclear why you're here specifically yeah?
So I kind of hesitate to pour unasked for advice on you but heck if it was my gal, I'd fly out (WITH the daughter if she's not already there). And set out to accomplish what I explained before - corner the guy in a really friendly way. Even if I had to hock my house to buy the plane tickets.
If you need any assistance in what types of questions to ask to clarify the situation in front of your girl, dont hesitiate.
Thanks 4 advice Itni bhi musibat nahi a rahi help krni ho gi tu khud hi PM kr dain gy:D Apun ky pass time nahi and I strongly beleive he is one of them:hehe:
I dont know if you're here seeking advice or here seeking knowledge about pakistani men in general....you havent really asked for advice, nor said anything like "gee, I'll have to try THAT" so its kind of unclear why you're here specifically yeah?
So I kind of hesitate to pour unasked for advice on you but heck if it was my gal, I'd fly out (WITH the daughter if she's not already there). And set out to accomplish what I explained before - corner the guy in a really friendly way. Even if I had to hock my house to buy the plane tickets.
If you need any assistance in what types of questions to ask to clarify the situation in front of your girl, dont hesitiate.
Sorry if I didn't explain myself better, I guess I was too busy trying to describe the situation and answer everyone's questions.
He is the first Pakistani man I've ever met and not knowing the culture I wanted to find out if I was miss-reading him when he jokes about her religion or pats her on top of her head, lies about his age and is always complaining about things (money, his job, etc.).
I've been trying to think of ways to expose his lies, but my daughter is so defensive of him she gets angry whenever I start asking questions about him or try and point something out to her. I don't know if he thinks I'm on to him or not, but the last time I saw him he made me very angry and I'm pretty sure he knew it.
I had to leave before I did something I would have been sorry for.
Sorry if I didn't explain myself better, I guess I was too busy trying to describe the situation and answer everyone's questions.
He is the first Pakistani man I've ever met and not knowing the culture I wanted to find out if I was miss-reading him when he jokes about her religion or pats her on top of her head, lies about his age and is always complaining about things (money, his job, etc.).
I've been trying to think of ways to expose his lies, but my daughter is so defensive of him she gets angry whenever I start asking questions about him or try and point something out to her. I don't know if he thinks I'm on to him or not, but the last time I saw him he made me very angry and I'm pretty sure he knew it.
I had to leave before I did something I would have been sorry for.
Have u tried reverse psychology though..works when they were kids ...might as well work now...U'll have to be very tactfull though.
I have to say i was shocked when i read this comment. Just the fact that she thinks shes superior to u makes me think “let her make her mistakes and learn”. Just the sheer arrogance that she thinks shes better than u cos shes got a masters-good grief:bummer: . Im sorry but she sounds like a idiot to me just as much as he is. Having a masters obviously hasnt made her wise to the world-or mayb she has issues that shes worried shes neva gonna meet any1 else hence shes settling for this pratt. They both sound as bad as each other to me. Any1 who thinks they r above their parents really deserves what they get. Im sorry but they do-ur parents do everything for u and this is what u get in return? I know i sound harsh but thats just out of order.
I know what u mean Mizzrani-unfortunetly being bright academically doesnt necessarily mean u have common sense to deal with the idiots in the world. I just think the fact she thinks shes superior to her father is disgusting.
i think the concept of parents in our culture differsa bit from the western culture .. our parents bring us to respect them n everyone else , i think goray dont xpect dt dey beleive in free thinking .. no offence by dt
I certainly didn’t teach her to judge people because of their education, all I can figure is that she got that way in college. What’s funny is that she always has to ask me for help with her computer, car, home repair, etc.
It sounds like they are starting to have problems already, he ordered her a new car a month ago and she offered to sell her old car to her sister for cheap, but he put a stop to it telling her she needed to get more money for it. She told him she already offered it to her sister but he said, “No, I know a dealer that will give you more money for it” , she hasn’t told her sister yet and I’m not saying anything because I want her sister to show her anger without any prior knowledge from me. Her sister is nothing like her, she’s the one with the common sense and doesn’t take any crap from anyone. I’m expecting them to get into an argument about it, her sister can’t stand him either.
He’s also complaining about his bank account getting low, I figure he has more than one bank account that he hides from her and is telling more lies to manipulate her. He can’t find his wedding ring since moving his things, he told my daughter that was a “Bad Sign”, does that mean he’s having second thoughts about marrying her?
wow bob . what a story. i do feel bad ....i thikn u need to sit down w. ur daughter and tell her all these things u found out w. proof. then say u do what u want with it im not telling u what to do but u should know this and im a dad and i cant help but expose u to the truth. this guy is horrible news.....esp the lying about marriage....i guarantee u he is not divorced and he might have children as well....LOTS of pakistani men (well the creepy ones NOT ALL) do this...i have seen this time and time again. when he goes on trips how do we know where hes going hes prob going bk to pakistan to visit his wife. The renting thing def showing off that he has money when he prob doesnt have any. thats a typical thing as well. THe needle...hell thats just creeepyy i dont know what the hell that is...def gotta be drugs come on why would u hide diabetes like taht its a common ailment its not aids or anything. do wahtever u can to get ur daughter away from him...but it appears hes has done an excellent job brainwashing her....wish u all the best.
Bigbob, fingers crossed that the guy is having second thoughts! Please keep us posted. One thing abt the ring tho...the guy may just be trying to worm his way out of wearing a ring. He may not realize that he'll need a ring during a marriage ceremony, even if its just a civil ceremony. Are they planning some kind of wedding? That may be a good avenue for opening your daughters eyes. Most churches want to meet the couple and have a counseling/get to know them type of meeting before they'll do a wedding service. This may bring out more of the guy's disrespect for your daughter and her beleifs. Just a thought.
Bigbob, fingers crossed that the guy is having second thoughts! Please keep us posted. One thing abt the ring tho...the guy may just be trying to worm his way out of wearing a ring. He may not realize that he'll need a ring during a marriage ceremony, even if its just a civil ceremony. Are they planning some kind of wedding? That may be a good avenue for opening your daughters eyes. Most churches want to meet the couple and have a counseling/get to know them type of meeting before they'll do a wedding service. This may bring out more of the guy's disrespect for your daughter and her beleifs. Just a thought.
Thanks for you concern Mamaof3, they have a ceremony planned, he's getting a friend of his to perform the wedding. She has tried to get him to set up a meeting with the guy but he hasn't found the time.
One of his brothers is now objecting to them getting married for some reason, at least thats what he's telling her, seems the closer the wedding date gets the more crap he's coming up with.