Re: American looking for some advice,
Hi again mr big...I've been thinking about your situation and have a suggestion. Have a nice afternoon/evening with your daughter and the boyfriend - in a very friendly, relaxed manner like "Hey, I'm the dad just getting to know my potential son-in-law. And in a really friendly way and with your daughter sitting with you both, start a discussion on each of the topics that you brought up here as concerns. Dont be accusatory, just be the dad who doesnt understand and is looking for answers. "Oh I understand you're diabetic....tell me about that" and persue details. Try to corner him - but again, its important that your daughter see you as the friendly dad looking out for his girl. And it will highlight even more his dishonesty and/or his falseness. Whenever I saw my dad together with a potential guy, it was always on my mind (NOT that I'd ever admit it out loud) but it was SO important that the guy "measure up"...and if he didnt, it would just plant that seed of doubt and cause me to lose interest even if it took some time. This approach worked with me and also my sister and nephew so its kind of tried-and-true....
The problem is he's already relocated over 1200 miles from me and isn't coming back here until the wedding, after that my daughter will be leaving. She's already moved some of her things there, you have to understand that he quickly took a new job in another state without telling anyone what he was up to and still hasn't had the decency to speak to me about it. I've been fuming ever since trying to decide what to do, I had hoped my daughter wasn't going to go along with it. I believe he already looks at her as being his property.
Also, most of the things I've found out about him I discovered on my own after he moved, my daughter hasn't been very forth coming telling me things about him, I believe she knows I don't like him and has avoided speaking to me about him.