i'm not their baap ka nauker to open doors for them or to waste my time for them to walk like a snail to get to elevator. nor i like to stand up for anyone....in fact if i'm already standing up i'll sit down just to make a point which will be pointless in the end.
girls are just girls in the end. they want equality, they'll get all the equality they want from me. whether they can handle it or no is their siapa not mine.
there u go u have no manners i can argue all my life n nothing will cum out of it
I think it's unfair to stereotype all Pakistanis or all Americans, any ethnicity really. I do think that it has to do with education and also respect begets respect. Now, with that said, there IS one thing that a LOT of Pakistani men are bad at (in my opinion) and white Americans are very good at. Pakistani men, like all other men, fall in love but never have the courage to stand up for their feelings in front of parents and too often dump the 'love of their lives' because they're too scared of what people might say or because parents don't approve. I think that that is unfair. White boys are very good about standing up in front of parents and admitting that they like someone.
I think it's unfair to stereotype all Pakistanis or all Americans, any ethnicity really. I do think that it has to do with education and also respect begets respect. Now, with that said, there IS one thing that a LOT of Pakistani men are bad at (in my opinion) and white Americans are very good at. Pakistani men, like all other men, fall in love but never have the courage to stand up for their feelings in front of parents and too often dump the 'love of their lives' because they're too scared of what people might say or because parents don't approve. I think that that is unfair. White boys are very good about standing up in front of parents and admitting that they like someone.
gosh, that's so true. living in the UK i never really thought that i would end up with a pakistani husband let alone one that was born and bought up in pakistan but here i am - engaged for almost 4 years now and inshallah getting married soon. my fiance went through a terrible time with his parents for us. his parents are really very strict too so i have no idea where he found the courage to stand up to them and say that he had made his decision and they wouldn't be able to change his mind. the only problem they really had anyway was that they always thought they would be choosing their son's wives - it wasn't even about me! oh, and how it would look to everyone else that their son didn't have an arranged marriage.
haha, i think they have kept us waiting for marriage so long in the hope that we would have broken it off ourselves by now, so ner to them :p
am in karachi @ da moment and not once has a guy held a door open for me or sum1 wit me. i stand there and start swearing at him. earlier this week i was walking out of dolmen shopping mall with loads of carrier bags and this guy just barged in and didnt even leave the door open, so i stood der and gave him a mouthful. the security guard was looking @ me like 'wtf?'
based on my own personal experience, not 10 or 20 times but a 100s of times i have had desi guys indifferently keep walking in such a scenario and non desi be it hispanic, white, black etc, open doors and wait in the elevator etc. so yes it is one of those personality traits that 'SOME' of our desi men lack. i think its not that they do not respect women, they surely do but as Iconoclast mentioned they might feel that this is unnecessary interaction with an unknown female.
when my american born kids went to pakiland for the first time, they were surprised to see how kids over there freely pushed and shoved other kids while playing. These kids grow up without learning these simple manners. why do u think ppl in pakistan never want to give way in traffic and get ahead of everyone by any means right or wrong.. dunno where the problem lies but yes these things don't come on their own, they need to be taught and practiced.
its a lot to do with upbringing and culture, in the west, opening doors etc is considered good manner, whereas in pakistan and other places in south asia, its not usual. this doesnt mean desi guys are disrespectful or bad mannered towards women. respect can come in many forms. you have to look at the bigger picture, it's too easy to see desis dont open doors, theyre bad mannered.
I always open/hold the door for my wife and for any other female that may be going in the same building.
I always allow the ladies to enter/exit the elevator first, and hold the door if I see one may be going up and is rushing towards the elevator.
I stand up for the person who is right, whether my family or friends.
Now let's talk about girls.
Most of the desi girls do not bother to say thank you like the American ladies would thank you when you open/hold the door for them or let them enter/exit the elevator. It's very rare that they will even give a non-angry look when you do that for them, forget any smile or thank you. Sometimes I would see a desi girl staring at me (in a non-flirting way) and I would give a smile to be polite, she would just keep staring jaisay meney maan behan ki gaali dey dee ho. I don't remember too many girls that gave me a polite smile in return when I smiled at them.
OMFG. this has happened to me a few times! i just gave up with desis in general. i remember a few times i was walking through the tunnel from the station to uni was minding my own business and yeah i just looked at a person because therer were people walking both ways, it wasnt as if i was like checking her out i just made eye contact with here and instead of looking like a half wit and pretend i didnt look at her i just smiled and then they give you awkward looks, like grow up you backward spastics.
we need to find you a nice paki guy..maybe then you will stop opening threads against poor paki guys...:p
btw...ive seen all my life my papa respecting my ammi....small things...helping her in the kitchen...opening doors for her....standing up for her...and other stuff....and they were in pakistan...thank Allah my hubby is the same....before eating anything he always ask me if i want some and he always gives me more share...he opens doors for me...he surprises me with flowers...gets me watever i want....helps me with the house work...and many mooreeeee....i just love my paki hubby :D
dear serafina, sab paksitani mard ek jaise neh heh. yaar aisi choti bathons ka khayal maat karo. waise bhi shaadi ke baad tho 4rm inlaws larkions becharions ko to sometimes itnaa kuch bardaash karna parta heh. b strong! we cant expect everyone 2 b nice 2 us all the time. dont care bout such garbage ppl! take comfort in loving family and friends u have..focus on their love 4 u. :)
I open the door and keep the door open for anyone, whether it be a man or woman, whether it's at someones house, any store, any business establishment, so that just destroys your theory.
My daddy helps mom/me out in the kitchen all the time and can cook food brilliantly. He taught me how to make roti, and would cook for me/my bros when mom was in Pakistan 2 years ago even though I was 14 then (according to Pakistani traditions, old enough to cook roti etc). He waits for the family to all have sat down before begininng to eat, even if he has been starving all day. To me, my daddy is the most caring and nicest guy in the whole world.. & he's purely Pakistani. :)
all pakistani men r not alike ..................... yeah there r those lazy n dheet , mommy's big boy sort of nerds who only love to watch t.v or their wives doing all the household chores when they're home ........... but on the other hand i knew guys whose's wives made them clean bathrooms + cook in the kitchen + watch kids while they go out for fun even though they're homemakers , now any thoughts for such pakistani wives ??
and i know boys in my own family who got married to girls of their own choice , even when their families disapproved them ?? and what's with guys ( american or desi) opening doors for women and waiting till the end in elevators , it's ok @ workplaces n related assingnments for etiquettes but other than that i think it's pure waste of time................
yeah and what's with being pakistani ?? all men and husbands and boyfriends r not alike ,just like all women , whether pakistani or not
WEll they both specified by saying my pakistani husband so it makes it seem like they have more than one and they have to clarify which one they're talking about. So his question might be pakistani kay alawa bhi koi aur husband hai?
Riya! That is exactly what Shikra was trying to say as well. I think both of us said Pakistani husband because we were just responding to American vs. Pakistani in the title of the thread.
Anyhoo, Hmmm, interesting to know if one could have more than one husband....
