Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
:(. tear
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
did u finish that online saga story?....(Sorry this is waaaaay off topic)
Thanks everybody for suggestions and comments. I am not going to go file any separation papers... I will try to break the ice myself tonight or tomorrow.
It's good that you're willing to break the ice and it is really sad that she gives the silent treatment for... seriously weeks?! I thought that could last only days. Have a good, long talk with her and find solutions to your problems. I wish you the best!
By the way, you may not love her and people might say that you shouldn't have had kids with her or married her. But we have to remember that there are two people in this marriage. Perhaps she too, doesn't love him. She could have also decided to not marry him or have kids with him. One thing is evident, you really do care about her.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
Well I lost my original post. But anyway you are a stronger man than I. I would not deal with such childish stupidity for so long. If she pulled this regularly she would be divorced and sitting at home right now. As for your situation I have no advice to give or offer of help.
As for the women here, ignore them. You are to be blamed for everything that goes wrong in a marriage. Consider it part of the insecurities of a desi woman. You do not have to defend yourself to these harpies.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
^ agreed.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
I think the tolerance shown by Jaadugar is required and should be much appreciated. When one person in a marriage is immature like this, the other one has to rise above petty issues and try to 'manage' the partner for the sake of the marriage & kids. There is no way around it.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
I love how she is the one who spells kalar. But you say Bunkers.
Match made in heaven, I would say.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
Also, if you take serious relationship advice from this bunch of idiots who live their lives vicariously through GS.. indulge in Net drama and many of whom communicate to their spouses using this portal, then you are a fool also.
I think the tolerance shown by Jaadugar is required and should be much appreciated. When one person in a marriage is immature like this, the other one has to rise above petty issues and try to 'manage' the partner for the sake of the marriage & kids. There is no way around it.
If he keeps behaving like a doormat, he will always be treated like a doormat.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
^ lala our doormat praa could have realized it earlier, perhaps before the two kids. Khair, I do think he needs a professional marriage counsellor (who can knock some sense into both of them) more than our desi school of brilliance and excellence.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
[quote]
.....desi school of brilliance and excellence.
[/quote]
LMAO!!!
If he keeps behaving like a doormat, he will always be treated like a doormat.
Jaadugar might retaliate in a tit-for-tat manner but what good would it do to their marriage with the attitude that the wife has? You know how some not-so-samajhdaar women have the ability to frustrate the living day lights out of their husbands through their actions? When they don't want to understand something, they just wont ... no matter what you do. Such situations end up destroying homes.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
And in those cases and cases like this, sometimes divorce is the only answer to keep the man sane and keep the kids in a mentally stable environment.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
I can believe all that things you told us about your wife but I don't understand why would you call yourmarriage a joke because it was arranged after having 2 kids with her. I think that was an unnecessary thing to say.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
^ well I am not calling my marriage as a joke. I refer an arranged marriage as a joke. Basically an arranged marriage is a big time gamble. It may turn out to be a sweet journey or it can lead to a roller coaster ride. In my case it hasn't been a smooth ride. But I am still hoping for the best and am determined to make it work. The success of an arranged marriage really depends upon the compatibility of two partners. I just wish that if we were more compatible then we could have enjoyed our married life more as partners.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
^hmmm....yeah. I think separation for few months is better for both of you.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
^ not necessarily. If we find a comfort in our separate lives then that will lead to a permanent separation. you know what I mean. As suggested by the most, the communication is the key here like in any other relationship.
By the way, I have already broken the ice and have made peace with my wife. All it needed was an initiative from me after a weeks break with her. It seems more like a ego thing and I am sure she was expecting me to approach her again. She did not respond to my initial approaches because she was mad at that time. Now after about a week gone, she was just waiting on me to break the ice. Honestly, it did not take much. This is what I did when I came home this evening, "so begum, yeah jinn (meant ghussa) kabb takk haazir rahay gaa"? she just smiled on that. Then I asked her to warm up the food and she right away did it and then made me a tea something (tea from her) I had missed for a week. So it has ended well at the end.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
Jeez. Finally.
Re: Am I taking a really extreme step?
Brother you two need to work on putting that love and spark into your married life.
That way this silent treatment and frustration on your part will end forever.