She's not a maid. She does not SERVE anyone. Start thinking of her as an equal at par with you who deserves the same respect you demand of everyone, and I'm sure you'll find plenty of alternatives for that term.
When a woman cooks food and put it on the table for her husband and kids, what is she doing? I am sorry if it sounds odd to you but I think using the term serve is appropriate. Serving isn't done by MAIDS only.
As I mentioned in my original post that she is complete house maker so she has taken the responsibility to take care of the house and I have responsibility to provide my family with their financial needs. It's not that I don't touch anything around the house. When needed I help her around the house too.
I have no problems in thinking "Start thinking of her as an equal at par with you who deserves the same respect you demand of everyone" but it won't be fair if I work extended hours and then come home and start doing house work as well. My wife spends half of her time (literally 4-5 hours) almost everyday shopping or hanging out with her friends. Yes she takes both kids with her. And I have no problems with her as long as she does household stuff at the same time. I know what you mean by equality and I beleive in that. I see people around me where husband and wife both work full time and then they share ro do the house work too. I think that is fair.
FYI, she sends money to her family whenever needed and I am fine with that too... I have just found a Western Union receipt on the dressing table that she sent $2500 to her mom yesterday. And don't tell me that she needed to ask me to buy her ticket to go to Pakistan.