am i right to be annoyed?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

yay!!! one comment… lets start discussing one comment…and end up re-evaluating the whole thing…:rolleyes:

22

The problem with him is he tells himself oh we've got a whole year yet but doesnt quiet realise the planning and also money u dont pay for everything on the day and expect to have a ready made shaadi. So because hes thinking oh we've got time yet hes not really saving properly and i can just about see him saying before the wedding i havent saved much because of this that the other. Im more savvy with money and have saved and keep saving but hes just lazy i think, sigh

23

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

Yeah genius, because he obviously meant to break up with you if you wouldn't agree...

What Dramaybaazi! What is wrong with you woman?
And for that matter all you other women who are talking about spitting and whining and what not?!
I mean seriously? Seriously?!!!

/FOAMIN'

24

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

You're in for a great married life then....

25

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

Like some people have already said, maybe he's just trying to honor/respect your dadi because it's a custom to do it this way in his family. It's also a possibility that he's saying it just so he can push the wedding till oct. because of the financial issues. I understand you're saying he does not have them, but maybe he THINKS he does.....so reassure him that one more month of savings isn't going to make or break the wedding. I will say the "take it or leave it" comment is rude. Ask him, what do you mean take it or leave it? the wedding is in oct or there's no wedding at all? at the end of the day, it's not such a big deal if you compromise and just accept that the wedding will be held in oct. it really is just another month...HOWEVER there seem to be underlying issues that you should shed some light on. Your fiance didn't hesitate to be rude and say "take it or leave it" and you're here calling him lazy. Sort out these minor issues before hand.

26

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

Im sorry but him passing such a comment is awful.. dat would definately tick me off! its just not on, i say you be frank with him and clarify as to why he said what he did. You let him off now and this shall continue when ur married… Sorry if i seem a little harsh but its just a fact :hypo:

27

Yeh exactly i was so annoyed we had a discussion and hes acknowledged what hes said is wrong and its never crossed his mind that he would never marry me, he meant if we dnt have it in october hel be stubborn and make sure it is.. we both know ultimatley the elders will decide which month, i think its that time of the year works busy for both of us and he just came out with it as usually we never have any problems cept minor disagreements here n there as with every relationship.

28

Actually i know i am :) hes got his own house pays the mortgage and the bills, so im not fussed as il be in control of the finances once we marry inshallah as my wage will be for me and household stuff and hel do the rest. the argument with regards to money stemmed from the fct that at the moment he should be saving for the wedding, hes majority of the time after bills left with around 800-1K but hes a gadget freak and always got expensive blu ray discs on pre-order or clothes etc he just has to tighten his reigns for maximum 5 months and hel have more then enough to do the small valima his family want, its that time of the year xmas and temptation everywhere. He has saved but makes it harder for himself its just a few months..

You're in for a great married life then....
[/QUOTE]

29

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

Nice one!

30

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

Oh dear god. This ladies and gents is an example of hints of a rocky marriage from the very start.

31

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

how many relationships do u know that arent without issues? or dont have rocky starts? or moments where things do go wrong, life isnt perfect and neither is any relationship, unless ur in one which is and can safely say you've never had to deal with any kind of issue whatsoever

32

Re: am i right to be annoyed?


Sounds like most of the guys I know, including my hubby.

33

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

"my mums hoping for a September wedding after Ramzaan inshallah, and my other half for some reason has october in his head (he says it gives him enough time to save, hes rubbish with finances..!"

I think this captures the situation. Your side wants September, he wants October. At least he had a reason - time to save, and you have acknowledged he is bad at saving.Both of you probably argued abt this back and forth - he got tired of it and in his frustration he blurted out the ultimatum.You can either choose to remain hurt at this, or recognize your own part in this power struggle.

And the fact that he did miss your not saying bye to him affectionately shows he is all right. To me, this is much ado about nothing.

Go forth and get married (in September or October, Inshallah)

34

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

The difference is attitude. There are some attitudes are unsuitable for married life.

35

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

thank u :) we did have a chat, as somebody below suggested that some attitudes are not correct for a marriage which i dont think applies to this, my reason for the thread was to ask if im right to be annoyed at his comment, and i think any human would be feel annoyed which is what i felt, with regards to when to have it, we've discussed that wel leave it to the elders, and let them decide, they know our wishes, and he has promised that he will save properly so inshallah so yeh

36

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

two people in a marriage are never going to be the same, and yeh some attitudes are not suitable however i do not feel i was out of line or rude to him or moaning at him, i simply chose to end the convo to avoid a confrontation. without knowing somebody properly its fair to say you are not in a position to generalise :) also my question in the thread was whether or not i was right to be annoyed at his comment.. atleast i know how to handle this sito now and not let it arise in the future, duh.,

37

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

such petty issues do get raised esp during the entire wedding planning process. It’s the time when both parties are going through the insecurity, anxiety and anticipation phase. One tends to say things they dont mean and the other takes it as something big and create a mountain of it.

Just don’t worry..IA it would all be ok. One month shouldnt make much of a difference. See if you both can find the middle ground in an amiable way, otherwise let him have his way..you have the entire life to have things your way :hehe:

38

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

Well he said ’ take or leave it ’ - what’s the fuss , if you are so annoyed to take it - then leave it :chai:

39

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

That is my point entirely. What would a bunch of people over the internet know about your situation other than what you state. And its obvious to all that Life 1 is a support group for women who want their actions validated. The attitude I speak of is not related to your actions with your fiance. Rather it is related to why do you need to vent it on line and with random people who will agree with you. If you have an issue with your husband you should talk to him. Not to random people on the net.

40

Re: am i right to be annoyed?

you trying to shut down life1 :eek: