Am I making a mistake?

[pak2015]

Re: Am I making a mistake?

@ami1

Alright. That was a lot of reading and a lot of point of views. I can definitely see more clearly now. To answer some of the question : well all the wedding places where I live cost about the same. So he wasn’t demanding anything extravagant. So I see that I might have blown it out of proportion because I got tired of all the fighting. I just got really frustrated as I have a major life determining exam coming up in a few days and he wouldn’t put the arguments on hold. So another question was if I was making similar demands. I didn’t make any demands at all or even ask where the walima was being held. I don’t think I care as much maybe that’s why I don’t understand why he cares so much. And I totally get what one of you said about involving him. That person is absolutely right. I didn’t involve him in the decisions so I understand now why he got so upset after finding out about them. So definitely a communication problem.
My issue was more about him talking to me the way he’s been doing for a while now. Not about the content as much. I see what I might have done to trigger that. I really thought that creating drama about petty little things was more of a girls thing but I was wrong. I guess guys are worried about that stuff too nowadays.
Our families are the Same financially. But there’s just a difference that my family is more conservative than his. So they don’t like music and dances and stuff like that on weddings. And his family is a little more into it. Like someone said with scenario 1 and 2. It’s definitely not scenario 1. But scenario 2 hit home. I think he’s just worried that since he chose the girl, he just wants to make his family happy and do the shaadi the way they do shaadi’s in their family. Which I perceived as him disrespecting my family. I might have been wrong there. So yea. Because of all these different opinions I definitely see a lot clearer now. I can’t thank you guys enough. I understand no one’s perfect… and I see what things I could have done differently and I will in future. I did not expect such an overwhelming response.

unfortunately its always the little petty things that become big fights..very normal..it’s a stressful time for you as well, focus on your medical exam and dont worry too much until after the exam..after the exam, you can try apologizing to him and say something along the lines “im sorry for not keeping you in the loop, i made a mistake, i’ll keep you in the loop going forward, this is so dumb we’re fighting, we love each other, let’s enjoy our shaadi and not let the stressors get to us” just to diffuse the situation, that may cause him to tone it down as well and IA you two will enjoy your shaadi..best wishes to the both of you!