Am i in the wrong?

[Sara516]

Re: Am i in the wrong?

@redvelvet

^ I didn’t recall reading in OP’s post that she laughs at the way they talk or mocks them. Went back and reread…again there was nothing that even implied this. The “nature of Pakistanis” remark wasn’t necessary, as it’s natural for people to be curious about a “newcomer.” She’s not used to the norms of joint family life and that’s understandable. Her mom’s reaction was a bit much…especially when they had only been there a week…as it takes time to recover from jet lag and get used to your surroundings. Mom drew more negative attention to her daughter…and it could have been handled in a more mature way. Maybe there were pre-existing tensions between OP and her mom and it all came to a head that first week in Pak. She should calmly sort things out with mom (don’t accuse mom) and that’ll make em both relax more…provided the approach is not a resentful/defensive one.
OR…if OP knows that approaching mom will worsen matters…then she needs to just put in more effort to be a part of the family and it doesn’t have to entail talking all the time…just being in the same room, smiling, helping out…will alleviate tension to a great extent.

My bad…

Let me clarify:

if someone is visiting you…you wouldn’t make fun of their accent or hte way they talk/dress/eat etc would you? so I don’t know why if someone from the west goes to Pakistan and this happens, they’re not supposed to feel hurt or upset at being laughed at.

I just think these posts:

@CEO1

You seem quite narrow minded and ignorant at best. And your connotation of the ‘pind people’ like they are out of space or something? Have some respect you’re in their homeland and you’re merely a guest thus appreciate their way and try to understand a little about your own culture. Make an effort as you should ideally try to relish the opportunity of going to another country. I see this a lot with the women in particular but men too who live in the west seeing the outside world through a bubble.

@Scherbatsky

You obviously don’t travel often, do you?

Not fair. Simply because you’re in their territory and in their homes. If they came to UK and were crossing your personal space or not following your home rules then your reaction would be somewhat more fair. But when you go to another country/culture, you need to make extra effort and respect their lifestyles and customs.

were a bit unfair. When people make you feel self conscious about every single thing, the way you talk, laugh, look, smile, etc, then of course you’re not going to enjoy your time there. Personally, it took me many many years/multiple visits to finally feel comfortable enough when I go there and not let silly comments or attitudes get to me, I think it’d be unreasonable to expect someone who’s hardly been there to fall in love, esp when the host family doesnt’ seem too kind.

@SummerFruits

Check it out, we have a bloody detective on our hands. *her not here it is a typo. Please re-read the OP. Yes I went to Pakistan 6 months ago for 8 weeks, what is your point? I would really like to know.

@SummerFruits

what are you on? did I mention that I laugh at them or make fun of them? Please read my OP again and this time engage your brain and focus on what is being said, not putting words in my mouth. Thanks.

sweety I was trying to defend you but judging by this and your other posts…I’m not surprised they didn’t like you very much.