Re: Am i in the wrong?
^ I didn’t recall reading in OP’s post that she laughs at the way they talk or mocks them. Went back and reread…again there was nothing that even implied this. The “nature of Pakistanis” remark wasn’t necessary, as it’s natural for people to be curious about a “newcomer.” She’s not used to the norms of joint family life and that’s understandable. Her mom’s reaction was a bit much…especially when they had only been there a week…as it takes time to recover from jet lag and get used to your surroundings. Mom drew more negative attention to her daughter…and it could have been handled in a more mature way. Maybe there were pre-existing tensions between OP and her mom and it all came to a head that first week in Pak. She should calmly sort things out with mom (don’t accuse mom) and that’ll make em both relax more…provided the approach is not a resentful/defensive one.
THANKYOU! for reading my post properly unlike others. Yeah I did try and smile more and did as the weeks went by make more of an effort, but still did not feel as comfortable as I should have.
Re: Am i in the wrong?
Check it out, we have a bloody detective on our hands. *her not here it is a typo. Please re-read the OP. Yes I went to Pakistan 6 months ago for 8 weeks, what is your point? I would really like to know.
Re: Am i in the wrong?
^ I didn’t recall reading in OP’s post that she laughs at the way they talk or mocks them. Went back and reread…again there was nothing that even implied this. The “nature of Pakistanis” remark wasn’t necessary, as it’s natural for people to be curious about a “newcomer.” She’s not used to the norms of joint family life and that’s understandable. Her mom’s reaction was a bit much…especially when they had only been there a week…as it takes time to recover from jet lag and get used to your surroundings. Mom drew more negative attention to her daughter…and it could have been handled in a more mature way. Maybe there were pre-existing tensions between OP and her mom and it all came to a head that first week in Pak. She should calmly sort things out with mom (don’t accuse mom) and that’ll make em both relax more…provided the approach is not a resentful/defensive one.
My bad…
Let me clarify:
if someone is visiting you…you wouldn’t make fun of their accent or hte way they talk/dress/eat etc would you? so I don’t know why if someone from the west goes to Pakistan and this happens, they’re not supposed to feel hurt or upset at being laughed at.
I just think these posts:
You obviously don’t travel often, do you?
Not fair. Simply because you’re in their territory and in their homes. If they came to UK and were crossing your personal space or not following your home rules then your reaction would be somewhat more fair. But when you go to another country/culture, you need to make extra effort and respect their lifestyles and customs.
were a bit unfair. When people make you feel self conscious about every single thing, the way you talk, laugh, look, smile, etc, then of course you’re not going to enjoy your time there. Personally, it took me many many years/multiple visits to finally feel comfortable enough when I go there and not let silly comments or attitudes get to me, I think it’d be unreasonable to expect someone who’s hardly been there to fall in love, esp when the host family doesnt’ seem too kind.
Check it out, we have a bloody detective on our hands. *her not here it is a typo. Please re-read the OP. Yes I went to Pakistan 6 months ago for 8 weeks, what is your point? I would really like to know.
sweety I was trying to defend you but judging by this and your other posts…I’m not surprised they didn’t like you very much.
Re: Am i in the wrong?
My bad…
Let me clarify:
if someone is visiting you…you wouldn’t make fun of their accent or hte way they talk/dress/eat etc would you? so I don’t know why if someone from the west goes to Pakistan and this happens, they’re not supposed to feel hurt or upset at being laughed at.
I just think these posts:
were a bit unfair. When people make you feel self conscious about every single thing, the way you talk, laugh, look, smile, etc, then of course you’re not going to enjoy your time there. Personally, it took me many many years/multiple visits to finally feel comfortable enough when I go there and not let silly comments or attitudes get to me, I think it’d be unreasonable to expect someone who’s hardly been there to fall in love, esp when the host family doesnt’ seem too kind.
sweety I was trying to defend you but judging by this and your other posts…I’m not surprised they didn’t like you very much.
Oh im sorry, I should’ve read the posts properly, you were trying to back me up. Thanks for that and I apologise
