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im realli upset guys
my saas sent sum thngs frm pakistn 4 me n my family n also her sister via my fiances frends hand he cme frm pak today
my fiances khala lives nex dr n my fiance dnt reli c eye to eye wit her....all the package was togther n it was planned ke he was gna gov me it n thn he cud tke his khalas stuf n giv it to her....aftr collectin his mate frm airport he sed hes gna giv the whole package to his khala n tht i cud go nx dr n collect it frm her (ths was at 10.30pm)
i got reali angry n sed if he gives her the thngs i wil nt go n gt em..... consderin most ov the package was 4 me n my fam i thawt iit was ryt ke he cme n gave em to us 1st.....
he gave it to me n thn tuk his khalas thngz....but nw hes reali mad at me cuz his mums gna b pissed off...he blvs he shud av given al the thngs to his khala who thn shud hav distributed it out......n wen his mum finds out tmw shes nt gna b a happy buny wit hm abt ths
i thnk hes jus gng too over the top
wat do u thnk
Here is what I suggest you do. Call up your fiance and nicely tell him that, **"Hi, I really loved the gifts that your family has sent. Please convey my thank you and appreciation to your mom for the presents. I don't want you to be mad at me. I didn't want to inconvenience your khala and that's why I suggested to make things more conenient by separating the gifts. That way your khala wouldn't have to go through the trouble of delivering the gifts. I thought it would be easier for her. I had no knowledge of your mom's wishes in this matter. If i had known, I wouldn't have made this request. I hope that we can move past this and not let it hurt our relationship."
*******There might be a possibility that since his mom couldn't personally deliver the gifts to your herself.....she thought that having another **maternal member of the family such as a KHALA give the gifts on her behalf would seem more formal and appropriate.
Either way its fine…
You should not make an issue out of it. She is your fiance’s khala ( kind of rep his mom since you are overseas and next door neighbors 
) so its ok if he gives your presents to her first and then she can bring them over with protocol (like, we desi like to do ).
If he was your husband then it would 've been a total different story.
In these kind of situations you have to be very smart and foresight about what can ruin your relationship. You need to be close to your saas, don’t be scared of her, just play along and she will understand.
Now since u’ve made your move so I think communication is the key and what RV is suggesting is right thing to do & best for U.
Re: am i in the wrong?
we're nt tht civil man wer havin a ful blown txt argument ryt nw
i feel like sht.....he jus thnks i jus wntd to shw authority n put my foot dwn
ths gifts wernt individually packd so i tuk out wot lukd like mine n he took the rest....
uffff mayb i shud av jus lt hm do wot he wntd
Re: am i in the wrong?
Mizz khan..all i can say is becare full untill u get marriaged ..because he seems like very caring about his family...
even if we u doing right thing...He will defintly fisrt listen his family's comments and wud beleive them...so try to make ur image good in his eyes..and dont show him any Ghussa opon any thing...
Re: am i in the wrong?
it was clothes 4 my my sisters my mum n his khala nuthng wit names on so had to gues by the sizes!!!
we're nt tht civil man wer havin a ful blown txt argument ryt nw
i feel like sht.....he jus thnks i jus wntd to shw authority n put my foot dwn
ths gifts wernt individually packd so i tuk out wot lukd like mine n he took the rest....
uffff mayb i shud av jus lt hm do wot he wntd
i think this is not rite time to talk....
give him a break and take a break..untill his Ghussa is finish...belive me like this u will start more n more fight with this arguments...
Re: am i in the wrong?
yh i gues his fam wil always cum b4 me
blood is thicker than water
we're nt tht civil man wer havin a ful blown txt argument ryt nw
i feel like sht.....he jus thnks i jus wntd to shw authority n put my foot dwn
ths gifts wernt individually packd so i tuk out wot lukd like mine n he took the rest....
uffff mayb i shud av jus lt hm do wot he wntd
Mizz Khan.....Stop arguing with him. Take a break and calm down, honey. When you are more relaxed.....call him up.....and tell him what i wrote above^.
Tell him nicely that you have no desire to show your authority or put your foot down. Tell him that you made the request to separate the gifts because you didn't want to inconvenience his khala. It's a burden to ask someone to deliver a gift. Tel him that you didn't want to burden his khala to come and drop off the gifts and that you wanted to make things easy for her. Period. And don't forget to thank him for the gifts.
Re: am i in the wrong?
the stuff tht i took out assumin was mine i jus gave it bk to hm....
hes gna call his mum tmw n find out wats wat
Re: am i in the wrong?
Mizz Khan...
Here are my two cents:
The gifts should have gone to Khala first. Because she is the family's representative here and the elder of the two of you. Its not a big deal to you or me...but it is a big deal to our parents' generation that these rishtey be properly honored and respected. You would have gotten your gifts regardless. But if you waited just a couple of days, you would have made at least 4 people happy: you, khala, saas and fiance. Your argument now might upset 4 people: khala, saas, you and fiance for sure. Always ask yourself these questions before you get upset and confront your partner: is this worth fighting over? Will this argument make a difference in the long run? Will it do more bad then good?
Just be patient and learn what is worth a full blown confrontation.
the stuff tht i took out assumin was mine i jus gave it bk to hm....
hes gna call his mum tmw n find out wats wat
Okay, that's fine. But talk to him in a calm manner. And make it seem like you didn't want to make things hard for his khala...and that's why you wanted him to separate the gifts. This is a better way of explaining the situation because it makes it look like you were thinking about convenience for everyone.
**
And in the future**.....if he has any special instructions about the delivery of gifts....then just listen to him. In the end, it doesn't matter who delivers the gift. The important thing is that the gifts eventually get to the correct location and owner.
As mentioned above, his "khala" represents a maternal figure who can deliver the gifts in a personal manner on behalf of his mom. (we may not agree with it, but the adults have their own perceptions of propreity). ** Tell him that you didn't understand this point until later. ** And that your intention was only to make things convenient for all.
Re: am i in the wrong?
Do you midn if i edit/translate your first post? No? great, thanks
Re: am i in the wrong?
I am serious, the first few lines were extremely painful for me to read…kudos to everyone else for having the patience/ability to understand gibbernglish.
And seriously, this is not something to get mad over. I think she’s making a big deal out of nothing. BUT if anything good will come of it, its that this experience should teach you (Miss Khan) how to pick your battles. And yes, right about now blood IS thicker than water. You’re only engaged to him, NOT married yet.
Now if u were fighting over what lengha to wear on ur wedding…that’s a totally justified fight. :k:
Re: am i in the wrong?
same here :(..i read 2 times...but i think she is upset so she just wrote it all like this ..
Re: am i in the wrong?
im gna let hm b....wen hes gussa hes nt very gud at co operating
Re: am i in the wrong?
Now if u were fighting over what lengha to wear on ur wedding…that’s a totally justified fight. :k:
:biggthumb
Do you midn if i edit/translate your first post? No? great, thanks
I know..............seems she wrote everything short hand :K337: :@: