Am I doing the right thing? MIL drama

[Princess1983]

Re: Am I doing the right thing? MIL drama

@skmch

NOT directed to OP but why do girls think husbands should abandon and cut off all ties with their families once married ? All they need is established,groomed,educated man whose parents are good until they sponsor his education,wedding expenses and leave property in their will for them and parents should leave their sons alone with these kal ki ayee hui bahu and land directly into the graves right on walima night ? MILs are called wrong doers,inappropriate,evils and what not by most of the DILs yet the sons they give birth to and bring up are perfect pieces that girls decide to spend life with and have kids??? our husbands had a life before we made our entry and WE need to adjust since YOU moved in their families (it was all OUR choice to get married into a pakistani family and WE knew their culture).

princess,You live with your husband separate in another country. why does it hurt to see if he chooses to sleep with his mom for a few days after years? what comes to your mind about someone spending a night in his mom’s room ? she is her mother and had rights in him more than him sending some money and gifts every few months and showing his face once a year with a wife who frowns all the time in a short stay ?

dont you shop and spend enough time with your husband when you are not in pakistan? what is wrong if your sils or fil accompany you once or twice? why do you have to make him choose between you and his family all the time ? this will only leave him thinking about you negatively and forever unhappy with his family no matter what. He should be sane enough to notice his mother didnt give a rat’s thing when your daughter was hospitalised. even if she called to ask about her,would it speed-en up her recovery by some magic? why do we have to add to our stresses when we can easily ignore them ?

about her treating daughters as second class citizens, stop interfering in her household. you should be bothered only when they start making decisions about YOUR daughter (which you clearly have mentioned that you make all the decisions for her and your husband has no objections about that.)

sorry for the harsh post but seriously you are adding to your depression solely by yourself and I dont see any other factor doing that !

Seriously, stop living in the stone ages. The info given was for those open enough to give advice so my children are not effected.

Just to stop you losing sleep over MY LIFE here are a few pieces of info:

educated and established? Sweetheart, we married young as they PUSHED for a wedding as there were ill elderly who wished to see the wedding. I hold a degree, I’m educated do I dangle that over my inlaws or did I mention education for you to ASSUME my in-laws spent wealth on his education and I’m not reaping the reward?

Their CULTURE is not that of Pakistani Muslims-it’s that or pre-Islamic folk. Go on judge me for saying it. I really don’t give a damn.

As for spending time with his sisters whilst we are out shopping. Don’t you have hayyah or something? I’m expected to shop for clothes which I wear to impress my husband whilst others are present when I observe the Ibaayah? Seriously?

As for not calling to ask about her granddaugher-jeez did I hit another nerve? I mean isn’t asking about the ILL done anymore? Have we all lost sight of what makes us human and Muslim (for those who are of course. Those who are of other religions are thought something similar if they cherish humanity). If they wish to have a relationship with their grandchildren it starts with love and compassion and if you cannot be bothered to even found out if your grandchild is dead or alive after suspected Malaria caught whilst visiting them is a tall order judge me now and shoot me.

If parents don’t expect their child to move they wouldn’t go looking for ristaas outside of their country would they? Seriously, go take a Kalms tablet I’ve heard they work wonders on desi folk hellbent on judging others by their own weird standards.

As for sending money a few times every couple of months-seriously stop judging by your own ways. I never once said my husband was not completing his duties towards his family; now dare you judge by your twisted desi mind.

Now I must crack on with tying up the husband and forcing him to be a good husband and hoover the house, cook the dinner and empty out the bins.

Really you seriously shouldn’t post and judge others. Anything I’ve written today is because you started it. What’s the saying about living in glass houses?

Oh and must go and get my voodoo doll out of the MIL and SILs and stick pins in them.

And before you go on about I posted in a public forum blah blah blah. Some of us are highly aware that we are NOT the only person going through such issues and instead of sitting around saying it’s culture and sticking our heads in the sand we talk to people who are educated and enough in life to give advice. I guess you don’t fit the bill.
I guess you be banishing me to hell; shall I pack my bags now? Do I get to go by a nice fancy sports car? I’ve heard bad DILs get to go to do their final destination journey by those cars; oh cannot wait!

Oh before I forget PCG-the whole sons sleeping in Mothers room situ-I’ve heard it’s quite the norm in Eastern Europe. Ah whatever floats their boats?