Am I doing the right thing? MIL drama

[Deeba1234]

Re: Am I doing the right thing? MIL drama

@skmch

NOT directed to OP but why do girls think husbands should abandon and cut off all ties with their families once married ? All they need is established,groomed,educated man whose parents are good until they sponsor his education,wedding expenses and leave property in their will for them and parents should leave their sons alone with these kal ki ayee hui bahu and land directly into the graves right on walima night ? MILs are called wrong doers,inappropriate,evils and what not by most of the DILs yet the sons they give birth to and bring up are perfect pieces that girls decide to spend life with and have kids??? our husbands had a life before we made our entry and WE need to adjust since YOU moved in their families (it was all OUR choice to get married into a pakistani family and WE knew their culture).

princess,You live with your husband separate in another country. why does it hurt to see if he chooses to sleep with his mom for a few days after years? what comes to your mind about someone spending a night in his mom’s room ? she is her mother and had rights in him more than him sending some money and gifts every few months and showing his face once a year with a wife who frowns all the time in a short stay ?

dont you shop and spend enough time with your husband when you are not in pakistan? what is wrong if your sils or fil accompany you once or twice? why do you have to make him choose between you and his family all the time ? this will only leave him thinking about you negatively and forever unhappy with his family no matter what. He should be sane enough to notice his mother didnt give a rat’s thing when your daughter was hospitalised. even if she called to ask about her,would it speed-en up her recovery by some magic? why do we have to add to our stresses when we can easily ignore them ?

about her treating daughters as second class citizens, stop interfering in her household.** you should be bothered only when they start making decisions about YOUR daughter** (which you clearly have mentioned that you make all the decisions for her and your husband has no objections about that.)

sorry for the harsh post but seriously you are adding to your depression solely by yourself and I dont see any other factor doing that !

Where is the ‘abandonment’?? Simply living in another home isn’t abandoning your parents (then aren’t daughters abandoning their parents as well )

A mother doesn’t have the right to expect her son NOT to sleep with his wife.. That is bizarre and overstepping boundaries.. A woman should be sleeping in a room with her own husband, not her grown son..

ANY doctor here would say it’s understandable if the OP is depressed as well.. What her MIL is doing is not normal, it’s obsessional and we can’t control what others do but we can speak out or how will there ever be any chance of change?? Just ignoring things for years on end can and does cause depression.. It is NOT healthy or constructive..

The OP being ‘bothered’ about how the other girls are treated shows she’s a good person and has empathy.. A quality some ppl on GS seem to need to learn.. I wonder how they’d like to be on the receiving end of bad treatment whilst others turn a blind eye..