Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?
I kind of understand your scenario, and kind of do not. However, I do get your reasons for not being able to drive confidently just yet, and I do give you credit for trying. In my opinion, the sooner you get a handle on it the better, just for your own freedom. Being able to drive gives you a lot of freedom that you may only understand once you become a regular driver.
In my opinion, I don't think that shes being a "bad friend" or anything just for the fact that shes giving you attitude about the situation, but then again, from the sounds of it, if she was even such a "good friend" then she'd know exactly why you don't drive and would have probably said those things to you, more as understanding and advice instead of saying it out of spite (since she felt such a need so say them at all). But then again, maybe she did say it to you as advice and you just took it the wrong way? and got annoyed from having to hear things that may be true to some extents and you just don't care to hear those things from others? Sometimes its hard to hear things about ourselves coming from other people because you yourself ALREADY realize its one of your weaknesses, nobody really appreciates that type of talk but sometimes some (not saying you) need to hear it every now and then to make them realize/ alert about it.
I don't mind giving my friends rides, any day of the week (as long as I am free and not going WAY out of my way for someone who I know wouldn't do it for me), whether its to the mall, bus station, airport, wherever, AS LONG as I know I can count on those same people asking me, to be able to do the same for me WHEN I may need them. We all need favours sometimes, and I am not saying I would only do something for someone only if I got something in return for it, but I don't like having anyone else depend on me. Have dealt with a lot in my family since some of my cousins and khalas dont drive and its a ****ty feeling to feel used by people your genuinely trying to help. My friends exchange ride sharing duties all the time for the same parties we get invited to but we take turns, no one is DEPENDENT on it as their only means if it doesnt work out. The only time I get really annoyed of having to drive people is when I am going to a brown or pakistani event that I know I will need to get really dolled up for because even if someone arranges to get dropped off, I am still OBLIGATED to work around them, entertain them, make sure I'm ready before they get there.... and when I have to go to brown events, its annoying just to have to get all ready for them as it is, I rather just go on my own, run late/ or go early if I want to, come home when I want too. Thats usually how I feel when I have to drive far for an event. Thats why it annoys me to have to give anyone a ride if its a brown event. Any other time I am more relaxed when I don't have to be ready to be somewhere and don't mind at all, but the whole having to get ready for a brown event makes me stressed out because it takes me a long time to get ready and then if someone is downstairs waiting for me to finish getting ready because they got there early, that annoys me too because then your rushing yourself for someone else because you dont want to keep them waiting around for you (even if they don't care or mind but I hate having to make people wait for me, even if I am doing them a favour) so anyways, thats my reasoning with it. I am nice about it though, if I can't give someone a ride, most of the time I do anyway unless I am not even attending the event.
By the sounds of it, someone who is giving you a lecture when it isn't their place, shouldn't even be someone you should consider going anywhere with, save your self respect and find another way, or don't go at all. AND if the person is such a close friend, then don't take her words to heart and realize that something may have triggered her to say those things to you because shes annoyed or whatever it could be. Maybe other people had asked for rides and she was annoyed of that as well and it added to her attitude? When people are dependent on you, it makes you feel responsible for making sure your tending to their time and their schedule too, EVEN if they get dropped off. It could be many things that shes dealing with on top of having to worry about taking her with you.
Regardless, I usually give people a ride even if I am not up for it because most of the people I know, usually ask as a last resort option and I know that. But when I first got married, I couldn't drive because I was from another country, and we lived next door to people who are like family to us. My husband had grown up with their sons and the boys always helped each other out. So my husband would always tell me to ask the aunty to ask one of the sons to give me a ride to the mall or where ever, so I wasnt stuck at home all day while he was at work, and there isnt public transport in our suburb. I hated having to ask, but when I did, it was because I just needed to find something to do, as I was adjusting to a new place and I probably asked in three different scenarios and days and each and every time the Aunty has made an excuse because I got the feeling she couldn't let her sons be bothered from whatever they were doing. And you know they were home because their cars were there but she would either frankly lie to say that they weren't or say shes going to ask them and then just never call me back.. and those guys are so nice and have a really good relationship with my husband because they think of him as an older brother, so I know if I had asked them personally instead of going through Aunty, they probably would have. Anyways, the moral is, I can understand how you may feel having to hear those things, its a horrible feeling to have to feel dependent on somebody and them make you feel like crap since you sincerely are just stuck but my lesson learned and same I think probably should be for you, do not ask ANYONE twice!
:) Hope you solve the ride situtation soon!
Wonderful post. Things are not black and white - you hit all the shades of gray. The last 3-4 lines summarized it beautifully. One thing I got out of this is to have empathy for anyone asking a favor rather than be mean spirited.
S ans S in this case stands for Superb and Superb
No no.. the “holy smokes” was to the epic long response 
